My mom died of cancer and my dad is dating after 5 months, is this normal?!

Question: My mom died of cancer and my dad is dating after 5 months, is this normal.?
Im wondering, my mother died 5 months ago, and her and my dad had been married for 40 years. He is already dating, and acting as if she was never here. They were very close, my entire life. I know how how hard it is to loose a spouse, I lost my first husband after 5 years of marriage, and I didnt date for a year, I didnt feel i was ready. Im concerned that it hasnt been long enough. And the fact they went on 3 dates the first week, and he is treating family as if we dont matter, and we have always been a very close family. Should I be upset.?Health Question & Answer

Sorry about your mom. My mom passed away three months ago at the age of 52. Honestly, if it were my dad dating now (or in two months) I'd probably be upset about it too. I know my mom and dad had that talk as well and I'd want my dad to be happy too but it has to be very difficult. BUT, everyone grieves differently and handles things in different ways. If I were you, I'd talk to my dad and tell him how it made me feel. Tell him everything you wrote here and see what he says. He may not realize how it's making all of you feel. GoodLuck. I'm here to listen if you ever want someone to talk to. You can e-mail me.Health Question & Answer

Different people deal with loss differently. It may be that he needs that form of a companion. He may have found a person that he sincerely likes. Or it could always be something else. My view on this is talk to him. Ask him what he thinks of your belated mother, and the way she passed. Ask him what he thinks of his life and this new interest. Now keep in mind that all of this will be a very touchy subject. Only be upset if he is not being honest.

But all in all this can also be a great way to bond with your father. (Keep an open mind)Health Question & Answer

my bfs parents were married for nearly 30 yrs before his dad died of cancer. Right after his mom went crazy starting meeting men online, taking drugs, etc. She got married to a man she had only known a couple days from an internet dating site. So be careful and keep an eye on your dad he might be doing this all out of grief.....Health Question & Answer

5 months and a year really aren't that much apart in the larger scale of things. If he found someone he really likes, then support him. I'm sure it's not like he planned to meet someone so soon.Health Question & Answer

I agree.. I'm sure he is lonely and maybe your mom wanted him to find someone. I can only imagine how tough it must be for him. Besides at his age maybe he needs some "me" time for a change.. give him space if that is what he needs and be happy for him with whomever he chooses...Health Question & Answer

thats too quick...
but im sure hes getting older and doesnt want to be alone
and maybe just wants someone to love hiim because he feels alone with out your mom and unloved.
support him if he really loves the womanHealth Question & Answer

No, you should not be upset. Keep your eyes open for red flags, but no, dont be upset.
During my treatment, my husband and I talked about things like this. I told him that I if I died, I wanted him to move on and be happy in his life, no matter what that means. Deep down I know that I would never want him spending his life pining over me when I am dead. I want him to live his life, and if that brings him to seeing someone else, and if it makes him happy, then thats what I want him to do. If it makes him happy, he can even bring a date to my funeral.

Your parents had been married for over 40 years. He had cancer, and they knew this was coming. I can promise you that they had the same conversation, at some point.

I dont know why your husband died, but many people who are dying of cancer and their spouses work through the grieving process while the spouse is still alive. It is very well possible that he has moved on.

And yes, it is also possible that this is a rebound, which is why I say keep open eyes and be there for him. However, every person deals differently and at different speeds. If he is ready, then he is ready. You really cannot compare how long it took you to be ready and judge him about.Health Question & Answer

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