I want to lose 100 lbs so I can lose my chest & shoulders and won't be seen as a big guy anymore. Can I do it?!
Question: I want to lose 100 lbs so I can lose my chest & shoulders and won't be seen as a big guy anymore. Can I do it.?
I have a major issue with my looks. I posted a few pics below. I'm 6'3", about 235-240 (estimate), and am forced to shave my head since I lost my hair at a very young age (I spent a lot of money on transplants, but they only gave me some thinning hair in front). I'm trying to make a decision and I'm hoping people will give this a bit of thought and maybe not give me their first answer.
I want to lose 100 lbs. I know this sounds extreme, but I cannot stand being seen as a big guy. I posted a few times on here asking people what kind of guy I looked like and the answers pretty much confirmed my fears. I'm not interested in girls who think men should be big and manly and "protect" them....even worse, several girls who responded were taller/bigger and told me they'd love a guy like me because it would make them seem smaller by comparison.
On one hand, losing that much weight might make people stop seeing me as some big guy, and I could really care less if people would find me less attractive being skinny....the point isn't to find what other people like and emulate it (which is exactly what everyone encourages me to do), but rather to get as close as I can to what I want. I'll never be totally satisfied since I'm so tall and I'm bald, but all I can do is the best I can.
On the other hand, the other option (and I'm guessing, the one everyone will tell me to do) is simply to get in shape. I admit that it has its positives...obviously, it's healthier, it's more attractive in a mainstream way (though this isn't really a concern of mine), and obviously I cannot transform myself into a physically smaller being due to my basic structure. However, if I do get in shape and some girl finds it hot, I know I will feel terrible because not only will she be inadvertently confirming my negative feelings about myself (she thinks I look good big, whereas I think big and bald is unattractive), but that I worked so hard to get a body that everyone else wants me to strive for, not me. See, I'm not into all that manly protector stuff, and I know that getting in shape (not getting big, but still doing weight training along with cardio) will only encourage that image that I already hate so much.
I'm not interested in hearing how some people think big bald guys are attractive, nor about loving my inner beauty or anything like that. I just want to know if what I want to do (in a nutshell, be able to avoid being seen as a big guy) is possible. I know this is a lot of weight to lose, and I'm not saying it has to be 100 lbs....I chose that figure because I presume that by that point, my chest and shoulders (my main complaint) will be much smaller.
http://i385.photobucket.com/albums/oo296...Health Question & Answer
I want to lose 100 lbs. I know this sounds extreme, but I cannot stand being seen as a big guy. I posted a few times on here asking people what kind of guy I looked like and the answers pretty much confirmed my fears. I'm not interested in girls who think men should be big and manly and "protect" them....even worse, several girls who responded were taller/bigger and told me they'd love a guy like me because it would make them seem smaller by comparison.
On one hand, losing that much weight might make people stop seeing me as some big guy, and I could really care less if people would find me less attractive being skinny....the point isn't to find what other people like and emulate it (which is exactly what everyone encourages me to do), but rather to get as close as I can to what I want. I'll never be totally satisfied since I'm so tall and I'm bald, but all I can do is the best I can.
On the other hand, the other option (and I'm guessing, the one everyone will tell me to do) is simply to get in shape. I admit that it has its positives...obviously, it's healthier, it's more attractive in a mainstream way (though this isn't really a concern of mine), and obviously I cannot transform myself into a physically smaller being due to my basic structure. However, if I do get in shape and some girl finds it hot, I know I will feel terrible because not only will she be inadvertently confirming my negative feelings about myself (she thinks I look good big, whereas I think big and bald is unattractive), but that I worked so hard to get a body that everyone else wants me to strive for, not me. See, I'm not into all that manly protector stuff, and I know that getting in shape (not getting big, but still doing weight training along with cardio) will only encourage that image that I already hate so much.
I'm not interested in hearing how some people think big bald guys are attractive, nor about loving my inner beauty or anything like that. I just want to know if what I want to do (in a nutshell, be able to avoid being seen as a big guy) is possible. I know this is a lot of weight to lose, and I'm not saying it has to be 100 lbs....I chose that figure because I presume that by that point, my chest and shoulders (my main complaint) will be much smaller.
http://i385.photobucket.com/albums/oo296...Health Question & Answer
Answers:
Okay you said that you aren't really into the "protector stuff" that a lot of girls like. Many girls are into dominant, alpha-male type guys because of the way human instincts have come to be. the kind of girls you are looking for who aren't as much into aggressive guys are the social, outgoing intellectual type that aren't preppy. These are kind of rare, some of these girls are in punkrock/skater/goth/anime/rebel/straigh... demographics.
That kind of girl likes a tall, skinny guy that likes to have fun and who can tell jokes with taste and who's highly intelligent. From your post, you sound like the kind of guy who could meet that profile if you would just get REALLY SKINNY and take extremely good care of your skin. After you lose some weight don't be afraid to apply some eye liner (it doesnt make you girly, it's just something that new-age girls find attractive) and skin products. Basically you want to be a tall, skinny, smart and funny guy with skin that's blemish free who knows how to have fun with a girl -- that's what your after.
So to get to that point you might want to get down to about 170-190 which willl mean that you might lose some muscle mass getting there, but the goal is to get bellow 8% body fat, if you manage to keep any extra muscle I'm sure it will only make those girls find you more attractive.Health Question & Answer
That kind of girl likes a tall, skinny guy that likes to have fun and who can tell jokes with taste and who's highly intelligent. From your post, you sound like the kind of guy who could meet that profile if you would just get REALLY SKINNY and take extremely good care of your skin. After you lose some weight don't be afraid to apply some eye liner (it doesnt make you girly, it's just something that new-age girls find attractive) and skin products. Basically you want to be a tall, skinny, smart and funny guy with skin that's blemish free who knows how to have fun with a girl -- that's what your after.
So to get to that point you might want to get down to about 170-190 which willl mean that you might lose some muscle mass getting there, but the goal is to get bellow 8% body fat, if you manage to keep any extra muscle I'm sure it will only make those girls find you more attractive.Health Question & Answer
You don't look all that big to me.. sorryHealth Question & Answer
I was going to recommend bicycle riding like I did, avidly, for at least 20 years, because if you ride, pedaling much more than just coasting, you'll find yourself trimming down your physique significantly, but, as I continued to read your question, I began to realize that bicycling, even as avidly as I have, won't shrink your shoulders or in other ways change your skeletal structure, or help you grow hair. Then it began to dawn on me that what you need is not so much a different anatomical appearance as an appreciation for what you have. I doubt many people are totally excited about how they look, and we all do what we can to be healthier or slimmer or whatever, and even more drastic aesthetic alterations, some through surgery and others through cosmetics, etc., but, as a mental health professional with 20+ years experience, now retired, I read in your question a need for a change in your appreciation for who you are and what you look like, and not so much a significant change in your appearance. And I could tell all this without even looking at your picture. Your words tell it all. Do what you want to slim and trim down if you want, but I agree with "Lisa A" when she says you need not as much a "diet or fitness plan" as you do some counseling. I know she specified a psychiatrist, but, any good counselor will do the job. A psychiatrist isn't necessary. I hope you pursue whatever seems best for you. God Bless you.Health Question & Answer
Losing 100lbs at your height would be extreme, you would not want to do that, if you want to simply get lean then you will have to do a heavy cardio routine with low intensity high volume (low weight, high # of reps) which will help remove fat and build lean muscle without builking up too much because if you want to look slimmer, you definetly dont want to be doing high intensity, max burnout volume which will bulk you up.
Ill give you an example, im 140 lbs at 5'9 with 9% bodyfat and im considered skinny, I have the opposit problem because I want to gain weight/mass and not look skinny.
I don't think theres anything wrong with your build, but if you want to achieve the slimmer look then consult a physical trainer and a nutritionist.Health Question & Answer
Ill give you an example, im 140 lbs at 5'9 with 9% bodyfat and im considered skinny, I have the opposit problem because I want to gain weight/mass and not look skinny.
I don't think theres anything wrong with your build, but if you want to achieve the slimmer look then consult a physical trainer and a nutritionist.Health Question & Answer
your on the right track not carrying what people think good job
i dont know how small you can get with out killing your self but loosing weight is a good way but if you do a lot of weight lifting you will bulk up wich im guessing you wont want. all you can do is cardio and try a workout that will give you smooth flat muscles.
it may sound girly but you seem determined but the best way to do this is to use pilates or some kind of dance program
they are known as dancer muscles the are long and smooth and you wont look as bulk hope this helps and hope you can get where you wantHealth Question & Answer
i dont know how small you can get with out killing your self but loosing weight is a good way but if you do a lot of weight lifting you will bulk up wich im guessing you wont want. all you can do is cardio and try a workout that will give you smooth flat muscles.
it may sound girly but you seem determined but the best way to do this is to use pilates or some kind of dance program
they are known as dancer muscles the are long and smooth and you wont look as bulk hope this helps and hope you can get where you wantHealth Question & Answer
You need a psychiatrist, not a diet and fitness plan.Health Question & Answer