Whats my husbands problem and i'm sorry this is a little long but im just trying to explain everything?!
Question: Whats my husbands problem and i'm sorry this is a little long but im just trying to explain everything.?
My husband is 44,im 40 and we have been happily married almost 18 yrs..We have not made love in 8 months and a few times during these months we have talked about why we had not done anything for awhile but never has happened yet...During our marriage i am the 1 who has initiate the most and of course he is always ready for some action and has never said no to me and of course he has initiate but not as much as i have and of course i am always willing and ready and have never said no to him but after 18 yrs it has gotten old being the 1 to have to initiate most of the time so since the last time we had sex i have been waiting for him and the few times we have talked about this and when i would ask him why he hadn't tried anything he always responds back with "why haven't you" which is kinda of annoys...Well anyways about 2 weeks ago after about a month or so of not bringing this up 1 morning around 6 am right before he had to leave for work we had a talk about this and it turns out that we each thought the other wasnt interested in doing anything since neither 1 of us had been initiating so thats why neither 1 of had been intiating..I asked him if he was still sexually attracted to me and he said "yes of course and you know it and i always will be"...Well we didnt have time to have sex that morning cause he had to leave for work in a few minutes but we both said we would do it that night however we never did and still havent...He said during this talk that he had been wanting to do something for awhile and wanted to started having sex every other day which sounded great...Well its been 2 weeks since that talked and nothing and yes i know i should just initiate but i am still waiting for him cause i want to feel wanted..I know he doesnt have erection problems cause that morning of that talk we were messing around a little bit and he got hard right away and a few times he has told me that me just being close to him and laying in his arms gets him hard and that is true..Like i said after 18 yrs its gotten old being the 1 who has to initiate most of the time so that is why i have been wanting for him...We are both still very affectionate with each other with lots of hugs,kisses and lots of cuddling,get along great and still both very much in love with each other and no cheating is going on cause we are both strongly against infidelity..
In the past before this situation started i told him numerous times that he should initiate more often and he said he would but nothing has changed so i dont even bother telling him this anymore cause i figure why bother if he wont.
He is not this way cause of his upbring since his parents even with me were very easy and open in talking about sex and he doesnt have to worry about rejection cause i have never said no to him and never would and he knows it..
I havent initiated cause i want to feel wanted by him plus i figure if he isnt initiating then apparently he doesnt want to have sex like he said he does so why bother should i bother initiating if thats the case.
And yes this is the same problem i talked about on here a few weeks ago and a lot of people said talk to him about this and we did but nothing has changed and im tired of talking about it cause it doesnt help
And please read the WHOLE question cause apparently a few people didnt and assumed and said things that could/might be wrong which isnt the case.
And yes i am on the heavy side BUT he met me this way,married me this way and it has never bothered him 1 bit cause he loves me more then anything and has said many times to him im the most beautiful woman in the world and i tell him he needs glasses lol.Health Question & Answer
In the past before this situation started i told him numerous times that he should initiate more often and he said he would but nothing has changed so i dont even bother telling him this anymore cause i figure why bother if he wont.
He is not this way cause of his upbring since his parents even with me were very easy and open in talking about sex and he doesnt have to worry about rejection cause i have never said no to him and never would and he knows it..
I havent initiated cause i want to feel wanted by him plus i figure if he isnt initiating then apparently he doesnt want to have sex like he said he does so why bother should i bother initiating if thats the case.
And yes this is the same problem i talked about on here a few weeks ago and a lot of people said talk to him about this and we did but nothing has changed and im tired of talking about it cause it doesnt help
And please read the WHOLE question cause apparently a few people didnt and assumed and said things that could/might be wrong which isnt the case.
And yes i am on the heavy side BUT he met me this way,married me this way and it has never bothered him 1 bit cause he loves me more then anything and has said many times to him im the most beautiful woman in the world and i tell him he needs glasses lol.Health Question & Answer
Answers:
Been married 19 years and it tends to die if you don't work on it. You've tried to talk, no go. I know you say nothing is up but have you tried to check on him (phone records, etc..?) He may not be fooling around but guys are guys. I would fix nice dinner, low lights and candles, soft music and see if that doesn't work. He should initiate and not assume you always will. I think there is more to it he isn't telling you. Good luck and don't give up. Maybe go to counselor if nothing else works.Health Question & Answer
I can't believe you've been married for 18 yrs and are having to talk about who initiates sex, there must be something more to it than that. if you haven't had sex for 8 months it can't simply be because you haven't initiated it, and to talk about it to the point your husbnd has an erection and then he can just walk away and make an appointment for that nite.?.? sounds a bit clinical to me, wot's happend to spontenaity.?.? and then you didn't even bother!!! No i think there's definitely more to it, you paint a rosey picture but i honestly think there's something wrong and it needs to be brought into the open and talked about properly, not skirted around and fobbed off. Hope u sort it out.Health Question & Answer