How do you get rid of past regrets?!


Question: How do you get rid of past regrets.?
well for the past few months, i have been feeling very strange lately, and acting differently too. my mother always told me that i looked sad and depressed. and inside i felt like i was holding something back, but i didn't know what. so i decided to write down everything that was in my head. and i think what has been affecting me, is my past. i have done many stupid things in the past 4 years ide say, and it has lost me a lot of friends and respect from other people. and i keep thinking about it. saying "if only i could go back, ide have done this." and i know thats the worst thing you can do in a situation like this, but i don't know how to get over it. and sometimes, when im walking through school, i feel like people i know are just staring at me and judging me for what ive done in the past. even though in reality, they arn't. i need a way to forgive myself for what ive done. and be able to know that whatever i did before doesn't matter anymore and nobody thinks about it. i need to move on. but i don't know how. so please if anybody could help me. it would mean the world to me. its getting to the point where i have very little self confidence. so thank you if you do reply.Health Question & Answer


Answers:
Regularly monitor your internal monologue (self talk): write down the negative ones: "I'm really ugly" and then the converse: "I'm fairly good looking", and next time you become aware that you are thinking the former, visualise, as vividly as possible, a big "STOP!!!" sign, and/or a stern faced person wagging a finger at you, and deliberately repeat 5 times, either aloud, in a big voice, if alone, or subvocally (to yourself, in your mind), the converse affirmation. Habits take about 30 - 40 repetitions to become established, with most people.

Cease comparing yourself unfavorably with others, using the STOP sign: "I am a unique individual, with potential, and my own set of skills". Keep your head up, and look people in the eye, or on the bridge of their nose. See self esteem/confidence, in section 38, at http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris and consider volunteering, even from home, at first. It will also provide a solid basis in reality for the daily affirmations: "I am a good person, who is valued by my community, because I ..(insert activity here).." Section 47 also refers. On volunteering outside the home, you will come into contact with supportive people, and receive positive feedback for your efforts, which will be obviously appreciated: there are many options; one is sure to suit you. Practise one of the relaxation methods on pages 2, 11, 2c, or 2i, daily, and when needed. also, give the EFT a good tryout, to see if it helps you.

Section 53, and pages 2, 2.q and 2.o at ezy-build also refer. "Even though I sometimes have low self esteem/confidence, I deeply and completely accept myself", as you use the acupressure massage/tapping. Read: "Lift your mood now." by John D Preston, Psy.D. 2001, New Harbinger Publications, Inc., 5674 Shattuck Avenue, Oakland. CA 94609 http://www.amazon.com/ may be worth trying for this, (or other books on the subject, via the searchbar) as it has a good section on building self esteem, using a different approach.

Build up your self-esteem. You must take an inventory. What do you want to improve or change about the way you interact with others.? Try to make only one change at a time. Always check you progress before making another change. Celebrate your journey, not your destination. Learn to always feel good about where you are now, and to exude self-confidence about anywhere you might find yourself tomorrow. Set clear goals for yourself before every interaction. Know what you want. Think about how the people you will be meeting can help you reach those goals. Then decide how to approach each person accordingly. Apply this regularly and you will notice a difference.

Be proactive. Take the initiative. Be decisive. Let the other person know exactly how he or she can help you. Proactive people tend to be more successful in their career. Treat each person you meet as if she or he is truly important. (You'll be amazed how this works.) Give a firm handshake; look the other person straight in the eye. Practice both of these. Your handshake should be just right. Not too firm and not too loose. Train yourself to notice something you like or find attractive in the person. Listen! Listen! Listen! Teach yourself to develop good listening skills. Learn a way to remember the other person's name. If in doubt simply ask for the name again 2 or 3 sentences into the conversation.Here is an exercise that can help you. It is called "Act as If." When you are in a social situation, act as if you are confident, and outgoing. Talk more, smile at everyone, ask questions, speak in a normal or excited tone, not a meek tone. Watch some of your outgoing peers, and imitate the style of their social behavior.

Research shows that when you "act as if" continually, your image of yourself begins to conform to your new behavior. In this case, you will gain self-esteem and self-confidence. You will become more socially successful, and this will motivate you to continue your new social behavior until it becomes a habit. Like yourself: The first step in becoming more confident is to accept and like yourself. Make a list of all your good points, strengths, and achievements. Put it somewhere so you can easily refer to it, from time to time; perhaps on the refrigerator door, or print it; (large typeface, or capitalise) have it framed, and place in your bedroom, or in a position of prominence, such as on the television, or lounge room wall. By doing this, you are reminding yourself that you, too, have praise-worthy qualities like others. You will like yourself and feel confident about yourself after this.Health Question & Answer

try and remember that u are not alone, and there are others out there desperately trying to do the same. do the best you can and dont be hard on yourself. just work towards your goals little by little every day. its all u can do. stop the regret, and reach and help others. mind over matter!
u can do thisHealth Question & Answer

Getting over things that have happened in the past is extremely hard to do and I think everyone deals with it at one time or another.

Something that helps me is knowing that it IS in the past, and I can't change the past. Whats done is done. Just start focusing on the future.Health Question & Answer

God can make possible what you cannot do by yourself.

I know you were taught in school that you are the product of evolution, but this is simply not true.

The bible provides real solutions for anxiety and depression. And it contains this promise: "For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind (2 Timothy 1:7)."

This promise will come to pass, in time, if you first accept Jesus as your savior.

I'd suggest you check out the website below.Health Question & Answer

Well everyone goes through things like you are but not always for things they may have done themselves but because of things other people did to them. I've had many horrible things happen to me and I eventually developed some serious depression and rage issues and it only continues to worsen if you dwell on it. Your personal relationships will continue to suffer until you seek help. Therapists are incredible at what they do and I think you need to sit down and talk out all of your problems and they can give you a different perspective or side of things to help you through it. I've suffered lots of trauma and losses in relationships because of things that have happened in the past and the flashbacks or unwelcomed thoughts are inappropriate and disabling and I couldn't feel more secure now with my therapist. It doesn't make you crazy to want to get help, I think everyone should go to therapy! Good luck.Health Question & Answer

listen we have all made mistakes just put all that in the back of your mind and dont think about and when your walking down the hall at school your probaly staring at people because you expect to stare at you because of what you did in the past no one is thinking about that so u should either everyone does stupid stuff getting over stuff like that is what makes us who we are whatever dont kill can only make ya stronger so start to tell your self yes i made a mistake but no more than anyone else and try not to think about the past and focus on the + never regret anything that made you smile but i bet your a great person just because you feel bad for what youve did that should show u that you have changed people always forgive and forget u should forgive your self dont waste your youth thinking about the past live life to the fulllest have no regrets and focus on your future and you will be alright i promiseHealth Question & Answer



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