This is not happening, but he says it is, can someone help me clarify?!
Question: This is not happening, but he says it is, can someone help me clarify.?
Hi,
My friend who is 14. His name is Matt. He's up and he's down. He's attempted suicide, and I seem to be one of the only people who befriend him. He says he loves me, but he's back and forth. We managed to date for two weeks. Our families didn't want it, but we did anyway, so he was my bf at school pretty much because he only came over my house once. At that time, he was bisexual.
On the night of our two week anniversary(we didn't hang due to transportation issues) he told me he was going to a GLBT Club. I was fine with it, I mean, I certainly couldn't stop him. However, a few hours later after getting home, he texts me "I don't love you anymore." "I don't love girls anymore." "I'm gay."
Now, I am still having a hard time grasping/believing that.
I want what's best for this kid. I love him very much, and all he has to say right now, is "I never meant to hurt you." He has a very poor home life and barely an ounce of parental guidance.
He has counseling 3 times a week, but it isn't helping.
It is not possible for him to go from being bi to gay just like that, what do you think is going on.?
-IsabelHealth Question & Answer
My friend who is 14. His name is Matt. He's up and he's down. He's attempted suicide, and I seem to be one of the only people who befriend him. He says he loves me, but he's back and forth. We managed to date for two weeks. Our families didn't want it, but we did anyway, so he was my bf at school pretty much because he only came over my house once. At that time, he was bisexual.
On the night of our two week anniversary(we didn't hang due to transportation issues) he told me he was going to a GLBT Club. I was fine with it, I mean, I certainly couldn't stop him. However, a few hours later after getting home, he texts me "I don't love you anymore." "I don't love girls anymore." "I'm gay."
Now, I am still having a hard time grasping/believing that.
I want what's best for this kid. I love him very much, and all he has to say right now, is "I never meant to hurt you." He has a very poor home life and barely an ounce of parental guidance.
He has counseling 3 times a week, but it isn't helping.
It is not possible for him to go from being bi to gay just like that, what do you think is going on.?
-IsabelHealth Question & Answer
Answers:
This is very similar to the situation I am in right now. My best friend, who I was never officially dating, and I have been together for nearly a year. He's always known he was gay, and somehow he fell in love with me. Just a few days ago, he told me that he couldn't live a lie and that he just wasn't attracted to me sexually...
I know it hurts like mad, and I don't want to believe it either, but the truth of the matter is that only he knows what he feels. He may just not have been ready to love you like you love him. I also know a few gay guys that have tried being bi and just couldn't do it. If he had never been with a girl before, he may have just wanted to test the waters. Or maybe, like in my situation, he really thought he could change for you and he wanted so badly to make you happy that he was lying to himself.
Keep him close as a friend if you love him, but for now surround yourself with other friends while you heal. Take a week or two off from seeing him, and just do anything healthy to distract yourself. I truly believe that homosexuality is hard-wired in the brain, and unfortunately there's nothing we can do to change that. I'm really sorry this happened to you, and I hope that you guys can still support each other as friends. His mental instability may also be the reason that he's not ready for a relationship like that. You have to love yourself before you can share love. Take it easy, don't be afraid to cry. Crying is part of life, and so is heart-break. I hate to say that because I don't want to deal with this pain either, but just take care of yourself, that's all you can do for now. Good luck.Health Question & Answer
I know it hurts like mad, and I don't want to believe it either, but the truth of the matter is that only he knows what he feels. He may just not have been ready to love you like you love him. I also know a few gay guys that have tried being bi and just couldn't do it. If he had never been with a girl before, he may have just wanted to test the waters. Or maybe, like in my situation, he really thought he could change for you and he wanted so badly to make you happy that he was lying to himself.
Keep him close as a friend if you love him, but for now surround yourself with other friends while you heal. Take a week or two off from seeing him, and just do anything healthy to distract yourself. I truly believe that homosexuality is hard-wired in the brain, and unfortunately there's nothing we can do to change that. I'm really sorry this happened to you, and I hope that you guys can still support each other as friends. His mental instability may also be the reason that he's not ready for a relationship like that. You have to love yourself before you can share love. Take it easy, don't be afraid to cry. Crying is part of life, and so is heart-break. I hate to say that because I don't want to deal with this pain either, but just take care of yourself, that's all you can do for now. Good luck.Health Question & Answer