I think I have anxiety problems with a girl, what should I do?!
Question: I think I have anxiety problems with a girl, what should I do.?
A girl that I have dated and been together with for about 6 months broke up with me a year ago and since then i've been having really bad problems with anxiety and depression. I have cut myself and cried for hours and hours. I don't know why I have this, it's really annoying and it's ruining my life. For example, she was talking to her ex boyfriend today and I got really angry and upset, then had a anxiety attack. Please help meHealth Question & Answer
Answers:
Some of the hardest lessons we learn come from having to survive the loss of significant relationships. It's all part of the process we call life. Everyone gets to navigate this challenge at some point.
What you are experiencing is anxiety...which you know. The concern here is that your anxiety has lasted as long as it has. Makes me think that maybe there is more in your life than just this breakup that is causing you to be stressed and anxious.
It would be best if you can hook up with a counselor/therapist. You can post your question here on Yahoo, but it's just not the same as having someone you can talk with at length who is qualified to help you, who can explore all your feelings and concerns with you and help you to move past them.
That said, the best way to move past the heartache and pain of yesterday is to first allow yourself to express your sadness (feel your grief) and then start building the kind of life that you want. Seek out your friends, get involved in activities that are interesting and fun for you. Don't isolate, that will only make things worse. Find someone you can talk to, be it the school counselor, your parents, your best friend, or a therapist (or write your thoughts/feelings in a journal).
Take the best care of yourself that you know how. Better still, learn some new ways to take care of yourself...that's a lifelong process too. Make sure you are eating well...stay away from junk food. That may sound like a strange thing to suggest, but what you eat makes a very big difference in how you feel. Junk food is heavily processed, low in nutrients and high in additives. Those additives can cause or contribute to anxiety and depression because they are neurotoxic (toxic or poisonous to your nervous system; your brain is part of your nervous system).
As for getting angry and upset seeing your ex talking to her ex...you should know that anger is not the primary emotion you are feeling. Anger is secondary to being hurt or offended, but often you don't recognize what you are feeling because the anger flares up so quickly. So when you feel that anger coming on, try to focus on your breathing for a bit while you think about what you are really feeling. It won't take away the pain or the sense of loss. It will allow you to identify your feelings. This is the first step to moving past the hurt... identify it, feel it, then take action to move past it.
You will find that as you get older and become more experienced, it gets a bit easier when a relationship doesn't work out. Sometimes it will be you who decides to move on, sometimes it will be your partner. Regardless, it does get easier over time.Health Question & Answer
What you are experiencing is anxiety...which you know. The concern here is that your anxiety has lasted as long as it has. Makes me think that maybe there is more in your life than just this breakup that is causing you to be stressed and anxious.
It would be best if you can hook up with a counselor/therapist. You can post your question here on Yahoo, but it's just not the same as having someone you can talk with at length who is qualified to help you, who can explore all your feelings and concerns with you and help you to move past them.
That said, the best way to move past the heartache and pain of yesterday is to first allow yourself to express your sadness (feel your grief) and then start building the kind of life that you want. Seek out your friends, get involved in activities that are interesting and fun for you. Don't isolate, that will only make things worse. Find someone you can talk to, be it the school counselor, your parents, your best friend, or a therapist (or write your thoughts/feelings in a journal).
Take the best care of yourself that you know how. Better still, learn some new ways to take care of yourself...that's a lifelong process too. Make sure you are eating well...stay away from junk food. That may sound like a strange thing to suggest, but what you eat makes a very big difference in how you feel. Junk food is heavily processed, low in nutrients and high in additives. Those additives can cause or contribute to anxiety and depression because they are neurotoxic (toxic or poisonous to your nervous system; your brain is part of your nervous system).
As for getting angry and upset seeing your ex talking to her ex...you should know that anger is not the primary emotion you are feeling. Anger is secondary to being hurt or offended, but often you don't recognize what you are feeling because the anger flares up so quickly. So when you feel that anger coming on, try to focus on your breathing for a bit while you think about what you are really feeling. It won't take away the pain or the sense of loss. It will allow you to identify your feelings. This is the first step to moving past the hurt... identify it, feel it, then take action to move past it.
You will find that as you get older and become more experienced, it gets a bit easier when a relationship doesn't work out. Sometimes it will be you who decides to move on, sometimes it will be your partner. Regardless, it does get easier over time.Health Question & Answer
Degree in psychology; have worked in mental health for eleven years; have studied nutrition, toxicology and health for eight yearsHealth Question & Answer