How do I deal with my sister's boyfriend?!


Question: How do I deal with my sister's boyfriend.?
All he does is criticize everything. Whatever I do, or whatever my mom does, he has something to say about it. He is like this towards my sister too. He is over jealous of my sister's friends. She basically can't talk to anyone with a penis (besides me), or she needs permission from him. He's clingy to her and won't stop making out with her in front of everyone, every second of the day, and he has the worst manners ever. My sister always pays for them both when they go on dates, and always drives him everywhere, otherwise, he yells at her. Another thing is he comes over every day. I'm not even kidding; He has came over ever single day since October, with no breaks. He treats her like crap and bosses her around. Today, I gave my sister about six dollars, and my sister put in six dollars and we gave our friend Chris (who is over 18) money to buy us each a pack of Newports. Zach (her boyfriend) decided to go with him So what does Zach do.? He uses MY money to get himself a pack of cigarettes for himself. I know it's not too big of a deal, but he just drove me to the point where I don't feel like waking up anymore, because I know he will be there. I'm sorry I had to type so much, but I'm just stressing out. I almost feel as if I want my birthday present to be going to bed and never waking up again. Spending every day of the past six months with someone I hate is starting to ruin my mental health. I want to have a sister again. I haven't had a conversation with her in a few months, because he's always hogging her up. How do I get my sister to break up with him.? She won't listen to me or her friends.? Thanks for taking the time to read this.Health Question & Answer


Answers:
You need to talk to her and get her away from that guy. He is toxic and a bad influence. He is too controlling and he needs to take care of himself. He needs to get a life.
It can be hard to get away from someone so very passive aggressive. It may be true he treats her even worse when no one is around. He is obsessive and he is using it as a way to get what he wants. I've seen this kind of person bully their way into someones life, and he just wouldn't leave her alone. He kicked him out of the house every few months, and he waited a couple of weeks and came right back. He did nothing. He only did what he wanted to do.
This guy is a user. He dogs people until they give in just to get him to shut up. He has serious problems, but he is an even bigger problem for other people because he makes sure every thing is someone else's fault. He feels no guilt and he can do no wrong.
If you want to get her away from him, you need to speak up. You need to be calm, never let him see you lose your cool. But come out and say what you think. Start somewhere. Talk to your friend Chris. Then plan on having a talk with your sister. Get her away from him and find ways to put some distance between them.
This guy may put on a big game and bluff everyone into believing he is a controlling personality only because he gets his way. But sometimes, and I have seen this happen, once he doesn't get his way he isn't so hot. He will leave if you are consistent to turn him away and don't give up. Even if it takes doing the same thing over and over and over again.
You need boundaries. You need a place where you can draw the line and tell him it's time to leave. Then stick to the plan and make him go. If you have to do it every day, month after month, just do it. You can't let him make you give up. You just have to maintain the same thing and be true to yourself. Don't give him a break and don't change your mind. Don't make excuses for him for "just this one time". You have to be patient and hang in there.
I can understand hating him. You can really get sick and tired of his crap. You must stand up to him and when he acts up, call him on it. You should have told him you wanted your cigarettes and not given in. You can't let him bully you and you can't be nice to him. You just have to be honest and stay cool enough to be in control of yourself and put him in his place. If you can do it just one time, it would be a start, and that would encourage you to do it again.
Take heart. There are lots of people like this. You can't let them bully you. You are being taken advantage of. It will never get better if you can't speak up and deal with it. They will not stop it and they will never cut you some slack. They will do it more and more as long as you let them.
Come on now. Think about how you feel and calm down enough to say what you need to say. Start somewhere! You need a plan and you need to assert yourself. Don't lose your cool. He will take advantage of that too. You need to fight back and you need to win a battle. Put some points on the board for the home team. Have faith! I know you can do this. You have to do this or he will drive you crazy.Health Question & Answer

Sorry about that...but im sorry he took your money and bought himself smokes...( but at least you didnt smoke them) what i would do is completely ignore her boyfriend......
and get your mom...you..and some of her friends and do a intervention

he sounds like a low lifeHealth Question & Answer

Hi, sorry to hear of this. I know that this is a difficult time for you, but I also want to remind you that your sister probably feels like crap deep down too she just isn't at a point in her life where she is willing to face it....that is where some serious tough love comes in. Hang in there and just be there to support her. Give yourself a break though, try to be gone while her boyfriend is around, I know that it may be inconvenient, but if it is really affecting you and how you feel then you need to have that time away from him. Pessimism rubs off easily and can really drag a person down....just try to keep a positive attitude and know that this guy WON'T be around forever I a sure your sister will come around and things will change. Hang in there man, you will be alright!Health Question & Answer

My in-laws are RIDICULOUS I know how you feel man. Good luck and you have a choice to make it better or not.Health Question & Answer



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