I need to get a job soon but I'm scared because of a mental problem. Help? (please read description)?!
Question: I need to get a job soon but I'm scared because of a mental problem. Help.? (please read description).?
I'm 16 and nearly finished Year 10 by correspondence as I've been doing home schooling since Year 7. When I was in primary school I was taunted alot about a few different things that I didn't understand until I turned 13 or 14. Although I began to understand, there's still alot of social situations I don't know how to react to correctly. There's alot of social stuff I just don't understand as well, which makes me think I may have Asperger's or something similar. Still, my parents and most family won't believe me that I could have it, but they're game enough to tell me I can't think for myself and will laugh at me when I even bring it up - but they still won't admit I have a problem. Then they will get annoyed with me and will argue with me. Are they afraid of something.? Do they not realize it can happen to anyone.? They just tell me "I'm me" and to "get over" my issue. But it's not that easy. This is just confusing for me. If I can't think for myself or do something wrong again and again, I must have a problem. I know something's wrong with me. Others tell me I'm weird and different and I think awkwardly and act awkwardly too. I don't know what to do as my mum and sister in particular are pushing me to get a job at Maccas as it would help me with all the training, etc. I have serious difficulties with learning by spoken word. And I'm afraid everyone would tease me there because of my issues and if any of them know what I used to be like in primary school. This happened when I did work experience with my uncle (dad's brother). He found me to be mentally incompetent and impractical, despite being - I don't mean to brag - very intelligent. My aunty (NOT my other uncle's wife, my mum's sister) will listen to me and she understands, but I need something else. I think I need a diagnosis as this will provide closure on this problem for me and I will be able to learn how to cope and live with this problem. This issue also affects me with my friends. I saw some again recently and I could hardly hold a conversation with them. Now I'm afraid they hate me because they won't reply to my SMS's. I afraid I offended them or they think I'm a snob. I don't know what my problem is, whether it be Asperger's or Social Anxiety. I'd be happy to describe any other symptoms if you need further help identifying this. Thanks in advance.Health Question & Answer
Answers:
This is one of the reasons I don't agree fully with homeschooling. Because in school-good or bad-you learn to deal with day to day issues.You learn to deal with day to day interactions. It sounds to that you are being sheltered and as you said, not thinking for yourself. I think it has more to do with your education and less on your issue. You are 16 and starting into the time of life that you find yourself-so maybe mom and dad can join in with other homeschoolers-so that you have a friendship with people who understand where you are coming from or you can ask mom/dad to send you to school-although this could be hard-it is possible to be ok in school. Did you communicate with your parents how your uncle treated you.? It wasn't very nice, and it didn't sound like he was someone who could teach anyone anything. You will find in school that there are some teachers that Truly care about their students. Whatever you do-you have to believe in yourself-start with the IQ-thats very good positive thing, don't stress on the small stuff. Find those things that you are good at and enjoy and go from there. Health Question & Answer
sounds like social anxiety to me. I am not good with social sitations and "belonging" I feel completely awkward and out of place in groups of people. try to convince your parents you'd really like to see a psychologist who can perhaps help you understand better what you feel adn why, and you would feel much better knowing why you feel the way you do. Health Question & Answer
This is why I don't think home schooling is so hot, you don't get to socialize enough to see what the world is all about. As a teenager, this seems to have made you socially uncomfortable. Plus, being a teenager is hard enough, your hormones are raging as your body grows and there is enough going on with that to mess up your emotions in any situation. I don't think you have a disease except anxiety from not being properly socialized during your life. Try St. John's Wort ( herb) to help alleviate this and speak to your parents about getting a job elsewhere, besides with a relative - who, by the way, sounds like he was very hard on you and very rude. Health Question & Answer
Don't degrade yourself. It's not a mental problem, it's a neurological condition. You're born with it and there's nothing you can do to change your neurology. You sound very, very Aspie to me, I see a lot of myself when I was younger in you. I was scared to get a job too. If you need a job, look for something that interests you. For example, my interest is in animals, and I got my first job at a zoo. Even better, look for an internship-type thing first, where they're still essentially teaching you more stuff rather than expecting you to know everything already.
What are some of your special interests.? Perhaps I'd have a few suggestions.
I don't know how it works in the UK, bit in the US as soon as you turn 18, unless there are special circumstances, you are no longer bound by your parents. Then you can go seek a diagnosis whether they like it or not. I don't know what the age of majority is in the UK or what the regulations are there. Perhaps there is somewhere you can go even at age 16 that will help you, and not have to tell your parents.? If you have transportation, that is, or you can get public transportation.
"Instead of seing the obvious way to do something, I'd always do it the most complicated way possible."
--Yes, good ol' Aspie logic, as I call it. Sometimes the answer is so simple it seems, but you can't see that until you figure out your own way of doing it. Trust me, I know :) I get a lot of "Well, I would have done it this way, but..."
As far as auditory learning, let people know that you can't learn well that way. Personally, I'm primarily a tactile learner, and secondarily a visual learner. Maybe people will be willing to accommodate and teach the way you learn if they know ow you learn best. For example, when I go to fil la script at work, th doctor usually gives verbal instructions as he writes them down; my coworkers can all fill the scripts as he says them, but I have to wait until I can see the written script to fill it. And he doesn't have a problem with that, he's rather have me take a few extra seconds than fill it improperly. That being said he is high-functioning autistic, and though he doesn't yet know I'm Aspie, he seems to understand the way I think.Health Question & Answer
What are some of your special interests.? Perhaps I'd have a few suggestions.
I don't know how it works in the UK, bit in the US as soon as you turn 18, unless there are special circumstances, you are no longer bound by your parents. Then you can go seek a diagnosis whether they like it or not. I don't know what the age of majority is in the UK or what the regulations are there. Perhaps there is somewhere you can go even at age 16 that will help you, and not have to tell your parents.? If you have transportation, that is, or you can get public transportation.
"Instead of seing the obvious way to do something, I'd always do it the most complicated way possible."
--Yes, good ol' Aspie logic, as I call it. Sometimes the answer is so simple it seems, but you can't see that until you figure out your own way of doing it. Trust me, I know :) I get a lot of "Well, I would have done it this way, but..."
As far as auditory learning, let people know that you can't learn well that way. Personally, I'm primarily a tactile learner, and secondarily a visual learner. Maybe people will be willing to accommodate and teach the way you learn if they know ow you learn best. For example, when I go to fil la script at work, th doctor usually gives verbal instructions as he writes them down; my coworkers can all fill the scripts as he says them, but I have to wait until I can see the written script to fill it. And he doesn't have a problem with that, he's rather have me take a few extra seconds than fill it improperly. That being said he is high-functioning autistic, and though he doesn't yet know I'm Aspie, he seems to understand the way I think.Health Question & Answer
I think a lot off your problems stem from you being home schooled during the most vital years of your developing life my friend
but your by no means doomed so don't worry
What your saying sounds to me like you just have confidence issues
And confidence isnt something your born with its a learned skill so anyone can learn to be confident and there are many ways to this basically anything that takes balls improves your confidence and ill go back to that in a minute
For a start I would recommend that you go join a club or something like a club and make a few new friends preferably somewhere with people with similar interests
Then when you feel ready..... try going up to random girls on the street and asking them out for a bit of fun, the point of this is to prove you have the balls to do it too yourself and not worry about what they say or think, if they give you shiit then tell them to go ***** themselves the dirty lesbians, or I didn't know you were married to your daddy's cocck, or a combination off both, I swear to god after you do that once you will feel like a king
also google NLP and PUA, NLP is hypnotic language kinda like hypnotising people while yo talk to them its useful as fook, PUA is short for 'pick up artist' and looking at this will make you able to chat up girls, trust me in everything I say our fella and give it a shot, what have you got to lose.?.?.?
If you need any more advice give me a shoutHealth Question & Answer
but your by no means doomed so don't worry
What your saying sounds to me like you just have confidence issues
And confidence isnt something your born with its a learned skill so anyone can learn to be confident and there are many ways to this basically anything that takes balls improves your confidence and ill go back to that in a minute
For a start I would recommend that you go join a club or something like a club and make a few new friends preferably somewhere with people with similar interests
Then when you feel ready..... try going up to random girls on the street and asking them out for a bit of fun, the point of this is to prove you have the balls to do it too yourself and not worry about what they say or think, if they give you shiit then tell them to go ***** themselves the dirty lesbians, or I didn't know you were married to your daddy's cocck, or a combination off both, I swear to god after you do that once you will feel like a king
also google NLP and PUA, NLP is hypnotic language kinda like hypnotising people while yo talk to them its useful as fook, PUA is short for 'pick up artist' and looking at this will make you able to chat up girls, trust me in everything I say our fella and give it a shot, what have you got to lose.?.?.?
If you need any more advice give me a shoutHealth Question & Answer