In a pseudo relationship where I can't get out - I'm ashamed to try to get help, maybe I deserve it?!
Question: In a pseudo relationship where I can't get out - I'm ashamed to try to get help, maybe I deserve it.?
I served some time in prison and while I was there I met Jimmy. He watched my back in prison - I probably wouldn't have made it without him. I was 18 when I went in - got out when I was 22 and Jimmy offered me a place to stay and I took him up on it. I'm 24 now and the last two years have been hell.
I'd say we are in a relationship because we have a physical relationship, but only when he is drunk because otherwise he says he isn't gay. He is really rough - he hits me and when he gets mad he isn't above really beating down on me. I owe him though, I know how bad it was in without him there to protect me, should I still be paying for what I did.?
I want to leave, but he says I owe him and I guess I do. He tells me I don't deserve better and maybe I don't. My family broke contact with me when I was arrested and I don't know where else I'd go. I tried to leave once and Jimmy found me and broke my nose and brought me back home - that was 8 months ago and I'm terrified to try again.
I'm embarrassed that I go to work with bruises on my face and I'm embarrassed that after what happened to me in prison (which is still hard to admit) and what happens with Jimmy that I flinch when a guy gets too near to me and have a panic attack if they touch me - even when guys at work give me a 'friendly' pat on the shoulder or anything like that.
I was young and stupid and made a mistake and I shouldn't have let it get this far but he's the only friend I have, how can I get help when I'm so ashamed the only time I've ever talked about this is on here where I can be anonymous.?Health Question & Answer
I'd say we are in a relationship because we have a physical relationship, but only when he is drunk because otherwise he says he isn't gay. He is really rough - he hits me and when he gets mad he isn't above really beating down on me. I owe him though, I know how bad it was in without him there to protect me, should I still be paying for what I did.?
I want to leave, but he says I owe him and I guess I do. He tells me I don't deserve better and maybe I don't. My family broke contact with me when I was arrested and I don't know where else I'd go. I tried to leave once and Jimmy found me and broke my nose and brought me back home - that was 8 months ago and I'm terrified to try again.
I'm embarrassed that I go to work with bruises on my face and I'm embarrassed that after what happened to me in prison (which is still hard to admit) and what happens with Jimmy that I flinch when a guy gets too near to me and have a panic attack if they touch me - even when guys at work give me a 'friendly' pat on the shoulder or anything like that.
I was young and stupid and made a mistake and I shouldn't have let it get this far but he's the only friend I have, how can I get help when I'm so ashamed the only time I've ever talked about this is on here where I can be anonymous.?Health Question & Answer
Answers:
You need to call adult protective services, or call a domestic abuse hotline. It happens to men too, not just women. They can get you to a safe place where he will never find you and help you get a restraining order, and get your life back together. When you call the domestic violence hotline, just tell them everything you told us here. Don't be ashamed. It is not your fault. And you certainly don't owe this a$$hole anything, and you definitely don't deserve the abuse. Get out and don't look back. There are people who can help you safely do this. Don't put this off, do it now before you get hurt even worse or killed.
1-888-743-5754
http://www.ndvh.org/Health Question & Answer
1-888-743-5754
http://www.ndvh.org/Health Question & Answer
You are being abused!!! Get help now. Go to a shelter, go to the police, go to a counselor. Just because you were in jail doesn't mean that you deserve this treatment. You paid your dues, move on.Health Question & Answer
You can go to a homeless shelter and stay there until you can get on your feet. Nobody deserves to be abused -- you did your prison time and you paid your debt to society. Now it's time to wipe the slate clean. Jimmy is using you for a punching bag and a sex toy. You could actually call the cops on him and have him put back in prison for abusing you, but you probably wouldn't do that. You sound like a nice guy. I don't even know if you're gay, but sounds like you're doing whatever Jimmy wants. If you can survive prison, you can survive anything. Pack your **** and hit the open road if you have to. Anything is better then living with abuse --even being homeless. You deserve to have your self respect back. Good luck.Health Question & Answer
You need to call a domestic abuse hotline. Here is a link to the website:
http://www.ndvh.org/
I know that for women, there are shelters in place that are kept secret. They might even be able to help you with relocation (they do this for women, I am not sure what exactly they do for me, if its the same treatment... lets hope so).
Listen.... don't let him manipulate you into thinking that you owe him something, because you don't. Any obligation you had to him was null and void the moment he laid his hands on you.
Try and get some help. I will say a prayer for you. Health Question & Answer
http://www.ndvh.org/
I know that for women, there are shelters in place that are kept secret. They might even be able to help you with relocation (they do this for women, I am not sure what exactly they do for me, if its the same treatment... lets hope so).
Listen.... don't let him manipulate you into thinking that you owe him something, because you don't. Any obligation you had to him was null and void the moment he laid his hands on you.
Try and get some help. I will say a prayer for you. Health Question & Answer
Ok the only way for me to try to give you heart felt advice is to talk to you as if you were my sister. Because I have issues with the gay things that go on in this life.(no judgment intended)
It sounds like you have paid your debt to society for breaking the law. So no one has the right to tell you that you owe.
As far as this man who protected you while you were in prison, he got to be your hero. That in itself is payment enough.
Think about it. Sure he stood up for you and kept whatever from going on more than it already had, but he also had you all to himself, to be beholden,to be his beck and call girl. now he has you in the same house with him, where he can abuse you and do whatever he wants to you.
You do not have to put up with his meanness at all.
He has done enough damage to you.
He gets off on that, do not let him convince you that he has not gotten anything out of this mess of a relationship.
He thrives on the power he has over you.
Even though it is false power.
You have only to see the truth about your true value, to yourself and this planet.
He has you all to himself and is telling you you do not have better coming. He is not giving you the facts.
So here it comes sis, If you have to go to a shelter then go to a shelter.
Have him arrested if he touches you again.
You are NOT junk!
Bad choices do not make you unworthy of having healthy relationships with people who actually care about you.
You have to get the hell out of there before he puts you in the hospital or kills you.
Mean sex can cause a lot of internal damage.
And can demoralize you in your heart and brain.
Get away from him.
Do you want me to come over there and kick his butt.?
I may be a girl but I have sturdy boots and a one shot right hook.
also i can drive faster than he can chase us with sore male parts.
I do wish you the best.
You have paid him back many times over, now he is trying to rob you of the part of yourself that no one has the right to take from you. Your dignity. Your self worth.
Do not let anyone who is mean tell you what your value is.
He is nothing but a mean swear word.
PixellHealth Question & Answer
It sounds like you have paid your debt to society for breaking the law. So no one has the right to tell you that you owe.
As far as this man who protected you while you were in prison, he got to be your hero. That in itself is payment enough.
Think about it. Sure he stood up for you and kept whatever from going on more than it already had, but he also had you all to himself, to be beholden,to be his beck and call girl. now he has you in the same house with him, where he can abuse you and do whatever he wants to you.
You do not have to put up with his meanness at all.
He has done enough damage to you.
He gets off on that, do not let him convince you that he has not gotten anything out of this mess of a relationship.
He thrives on the power he has over you.
Even though it is false power.
You have only to see the truth about your true value, to yourself and this planet.
He has you all to himself and is telling you you do not have better coming. He is not giving you the facts.
So here it comes sis, If you have to go to a shelter then go to a shelter.
Have him arrested if he touches you again.
You are NOT junk!
Bad choices do not make you unworthy of having healthy relationships with people who actually care about you.
You have to get the hell out of there before he puts you in the hospital or kills you.
Mean sex can cause a lot of internal damage.
And can demoralize you in your heart and brain.
Get away from him.
Do you want me to come over there and kick his butt.?
I may be a girl but I have sturdy boots and a one shot right hook.
also i can drive faster than he can chase us with sore male parts.
I do wish you the best.
You have paid him back many times over, now he is trying to rob you of the part of yourself that no one has the right to take from you. Your dignity. Your self worth.
Do not let anyone who is mean tell you what your value is.
He is nothing but a mean swear word.
PixellHealth Question & Answer
There is someone that will help you, someone that has always been there and loves you so deeply. Each of us has the power of God inside us and we are one with God. You only need to ask for this help from God. Don't tell me you already tried praying. You may have tried but then didn't believe you deserved an answer so didn't bother to listen! Please just try again now. It is not a bible banging Jesus freak thing I'm talking about. Believe me, I'm not a religious person, but I had the power of God proven to me recently. Ask God for help and be specific about what you need - make a list (you need to get away from this sick person before he kills you, etc) Keep asking (praying) while keeping this mental list of what you need in your mind as much as possible throughout the day. Wait, Watch, Listen. You will receive signs that will seen like strange coincidenses. Take action when you see the signs that will lead to safety and happiness. This will require a "leap of faith" from you. It is worth a try isn't it.? and it's free. Do this right now. You are in terrible danger. I send you my prayers this moment.
Health Question & Answer
Health Question & Answer