I'm really depressed. I'm not with my boyfriend anymore after 8 yrs and am not coping well. What do I do?!
Question: I'm really depressed. I'm not with my boyfriend anymore after 8 yrs and am not coping well. What do I do.?
After 8 years of being with someone I am not coping well with my lose. He told me 2 weeks ago he no longer knew how he felt and that we shouldn't be together any longer. This was and is a complete shock to me as I was and am still very much in love with him. I'm 29 years old and had to move back to my mums as I had no where else to go. The worst time for me is at night. I wake up every night and forget that I am no longer in my own bed with him and wonder were I am. When I realise he's not with me I become upset and unable to go back to sleep. Please help me. I see no point in anything anymore.Health Question & Answer
Answers:
First of all - try not to be hard on yourself, and realize that it is normal and natural to grieve. It is human to grieve, and that it is a process that takes time. Allow yourself some time to cry, to be angry, to scream and shout, to eat icecream until it's the only foodgroup in your day - time to say "this sucks and I'm really sad". SAY that it sucks, and how it feels, and honour that it sucks and is unfair, that life is unfair and that the whole situation is unfair...
Then, take a deep breath, and move forward.
It's hard. Life is hard, loss is hard. And it just is what it is. You've just lost two things: your boyfriend and a bit of your independence, and it's okay to have a while where you feel lost and scared and deeply sad. IT'S OKAY. Cry it out. Write it out. Good for you for posting on here, because if you can say that you're sad, at least you feel it, and eventually, you can move forward.
Look at the fact that you have a mom who has taken you back home, to sleep in a warm bed. You have a roof over head, obiously means enough to have access to the internet - you will be okay.
Love is wonderful sometimes, and sometimes things smack us like a dead fish upside the head. It hurts like h*ll, and we're battered and bruised.. but this is life. There are things we can change, and things we cannot - mostly, all we can truly change is ourselves.
After you've cried it out until your eyes are swollen and your head hurts - go, find things you love. Seek time with your female friends, with your mom, and most importantly, with yourself. Learn to love your life, and believe me, you can and will if you let yourself. Get a haircut, buy some clothes just for you. Put on pretty underwear because you CAN, not because it's impressing someone else. Have a formal dress party with just your girlfriends, and serve champange just because you can. Celebrate your life and for you being YOU! It seems weird and strange, but so often in partnerships we forget to celebrate ourselves, and devote ourselves to our partners. Once you see that the world has not ended, only changed, I promise you - you can have an be anything! It's hard, it sucks - that's true and perfectly okay - but there is a world beyond what you've lived already, and there are many adventures to be had.
I haven't read your other posts, so I don't know if there is more going on, but I hope that you'll catch what I'm saying here. You have it in you to change your whole world, as much as you feel he did to you - grab life by the stars and show yourself how great you are! Don't measure yourself by the presence of one person in your life..
Health Question & Answer
Then, take a deep breath, and move forward.
It's hard. Life is hard, loss is hard. And it just is what it is. You've just lost two things: your boyfriend and a bit of your independence, and it's okay to have a while where you feel lost and scared and deeply sad. IT'S OKAY. Cry it out. Write it out. Good for you for posting on here, because if you can say that you're sad, at least you feel it, and eventually, you can move forward.
Look at the fact that you have a mom who has taken you back home, to sleep in a warm bed. You have a roof over head, obiously means enough to have access to the internet - you will be okay.
Love is wonderful sometimes, and sometimes things smack us like a dead fish upside the head. It hurts like h*ll, and we're battered and bruised.. but this is life. There are things we can change, and things we cannot - mostly, all we can truly change is ourselves.
After you've cried it out until your eyes are swollen and your head hurts - go, find things you love. Seek time with your female friends, with your mom, and most importantly, with yourself. Learn to love your life, and believe me, you can and will if you let yourself. Get a haircut, buy some clothes just for you. Put on pretty underwear because you CAN, not because it's impressing someone else. Have a formal dress party with just your girlfriends, and serve champange just because you can. Celebrate your life and for you being YOU! It seems weird and strange, but so often in partnerships we forget to celebrate ourselves, and devote ourselves to our partners. Once you see that the world has not ended, only changed, I promise you - you can have an be anything! It's hard, it sucks - that's true and perfectly okay - but there is a world beyond what you've lived already, and there are many adventures to be had.
I haven't read your other posts, so I don't know if there is more going on, but I hope that you'll catch what I'm saying here. You have it in you to change your whole world, as much as you feel he did to you - grab life by the stars and show yourself how great you are! Don't measure yourself by the presence of one person in your life..
Health Question & Answer
Develop your own sense of identity. You are having trouble defining and respecting your existence as a Single person who is not part of partnership. Its your own issue which you have to overcome yourself. Just don't walk around desperately looking for a new boyfriend, the resolution has to come from within you. Health Question & Answer
Get out of the house. Go for a walk. Join a club that does something that interests you. You are vastly better off to be with somebody else as this guy has shown that he does not love you enough to stay with you. Move on - find someone else - you'll be much happier in the long run.Health Question & Answer
Oh hun, get out the Pasty Cline music and give yourself a few time to cry. Then go find happiness in your life without a guy, then when you find a nice guy, he is not the source of your happiness, he is the added bonus in your life. Health Question & Answer
well i was with someone for about 5 and lost her but she cheated. i waswith the next for about 8 months and she used me. i was a good guy but got s--t on both times.i know its hard but you cant learn anything in life without having your heart broken at least onceHealth Question & Answer
The good thing is you are 29 and have your whole life ahead of you. Another good thing is that because you guys didn't work out that only leaves room for more happiness with someone else. Try going to yoga!Health Question & Answer
first it sounds as though you are letting your self be held back by someone else TODAY is another day that the LORD has made let US be glad and rejoice there in just thank GOD you all do not have any kids together YOU WILL FIND LOVE AGAINHealth Question & Answer
Do your best to find a new boyfriend, that way you will eventually forget about your first partner.Health Question & Answer
smoke some erbHealth Question & Answer
Although it's painful to deal with and hear I can see from your previous posts on this that you are grieving a severe loss.
You need to speak to a therapist or counsellor etc to learn to let go of this and move on. If your boyfriend doesn't want you as part of his family any more then that is his choice and although you don't want this you have to respect his wishes.
You're only aged 29 and have lots of time left to do other things with your life. Make efforts to get help and move on in some way.
Take care and hope things improve soon.
EdwardHealth Question & Answer
You need to speak to a therapist or counsellor etc to learn to let go of this and move on. If your boyfriend doesn't want you as part of his family any more then that is his choice and although you don't want this you have to respect his wishes.
You're only aged 29 and have lots of time left to do other things with your life. Make efforts to get help and move on in some way.
Take care and hope things improve soon.
EdwardHealth Question & Answer
Thats sad friend...First of, You should ask your partner what he thinks abt your relationship and what is is that you could do to make it better..because you have been together for 9 yrs which is a long time..
If the answers are vague of if he is uncertain then just let him go...yes that is hard...
You must engage yourself in some hobby like gardening ...i am sure you will find your love..
Have faith...let time take its turn..always keep your mind busy..visit a park, or perhaps a blind children's house Health Question & Answer
If the answers are vague of if he is uncertain then just let him go...yes that is hard...
You must engage yourself in some hobby like gardening ...i am sure you will find your love..
Have faith...let time take its turn..always keep your mind busy..visit a park, or perhaps a blind children's house Health Question & Answer
Take yourself on a holiday, with a tour group. Go with a friend or even by yourself, you usually meet others on these trips. Ask the travel agent for group tours for young young people. I know a friend of mine who went on a contiki tour after a breakup and loved it. It was just what she needed to get help get her through this transition and move on. You'll be ok, just give it time. If you're too depressed you might need antidepressants for a little while to help get you through. Look forwards, focus on new things, hobbies, intrerests, get out meet new people.Health Question & Answer