How do i get to the heart of a problem to which i want to fix, but don't know where to begin or what its from?!
Question: How do i get to the heart of a problem to which i want to fix, but don't know where to begin or what its from.?
so i have lots of guy issues. (personally) even though i have never had my 1st official boyfriend. my problem is that A. i have no father figure in my life whatsoever B. the greatest guy i ever looked up to(grandpa) died C. i have had the worst luck with personal guy relationships, however none with making friends with them, even the cute ones. D. whenever i like a guy and they like me enough to ask me out, i become very shy, uninterested and introverted. its like i want the guy to like me, i see all his good qualities when i like him and when he asks me out i see all the bad qualities. its like i become a whole different person. what should i do about this.? does my history with guys have anything to do with it.? what do you think my problem is.? is it that i don't trust guys.?
how do i get to the heart of my problem.? also how can i fix it.? Health Question & Answer
how do i get to the heart of my problem.? also how can i fix it.? Health Question & Answer
Answers:
I don't think its that you don't trust guys, its just that you haven't had a close relationship with a male figure. It also sounds like maybe you don't have the highest of self-esteems, which might make you find the bad qualities in a guy because in reality, you don't think you are deserving.? Maybe I am off but I didn't have a relationship with my father and it took me a long time to "learn" how to have a relationship with guys. I figured they were all like him. I also had to learn to accept the good guys and realize that I was definitely good enough to be in a good relationship. It is a hard place to get to though, you are going to have to work at it, but you sound self aware which is a great start.Health Question & Answer
I believe you have figured out where your problem comes from and why you have guy problems.
Instead of 1 to 1 with a guy, try going out with a group until you feel comfortable. You can get to know a guy with the security of other friends.Check around your school, church, community center and let the guy become a friend first. Health Question & Answer
Instead of 1 to 1 with a guy, try going out with a group until you feel comfortable. You can get to know a guy with the security of other friends.Check around your school, church, community center and let the guy become a friend first. Health Question & Answer
first of all, it sounds to me like you're a little young and inexperienced. it just sounds that way based on what you're saying here. bottom line is, you're not going to figure it all out. you learn as you go. take your time. don't jump into crap. it's going to take some years to learn some things about people and yourself. i'm 27 now, and i look back to my teenage years and honestly laugh at myself and the "problems" i thought i had. truth be told, i didn't know what problems really were until i did some more growing up. so, just relax, enjoy being young, and let yourself grow up a little. You're way more normal than you think.Health Question & Answer