Im slowly going crazy && i cant control wat i do ?!
Question: Im slowly going crazy && i cant control wat i do .?
ok well
i have this thing , wen im alone i remember about the past and i can kinda play and see it out in my mind , and i can see myself and the other person and i start talking out loud and start having an arguement with myself and i start speaking aloud wat i would have said if i could , i do this with everything
i yell at myself whilst showering pretending that people are talking to me saying '' ur to fat '' and i come up with this whole arguement on wat to say back
and sometimes i pretend im with my ex bf and i would go back in time and say al this stuff
idk its just really really weird
and now wen i sleep i cant stop thinking
i go to bed thinking about every single little thing i did that day and go over it and over it in my head + i do this with the past as well
and i just cry thinking about everything i would have done differently
i go to bed at 9.30 pm and i am still wide awake at 10.30 pm - 11.30 pm - 12.30pm - 1.30 am
etc
just analizing everything i did that day
so normally i just end up getting so exausted i fall asleep
then wake up around 12 oclock in the afternoon
im over weight
and i dont excerise
is this the problem.?
idk
i just want to sleep normally
i also have another question and it might help try to figure out wats going on
this doesnt really make sense does it :\
here is some other info it might help
well all my life i have been bullied and pushed around , people laughed , stared , pointed and humiliated me , making me feel worthless , every friend i made always turned on me , and wen i finally think i found somebody i can trust they turn around and do wat everybody else has done
ive had food thrown at me , doughnuts put in my hair , spat on , had drinks tipped over me and a slush puppy during assemblies ;
so i pretty much trust no one
and now i find myself trapped in my house
i havnt seen any of my '' friends '' in 3 months
i left school becoz i was to scared to show up
i didnt do my year 10 exams
im scared of groups of people
and i get to nervous and scared to talk to people
i find myself hating everything and everybody
i find it hard to sleep
i over eat
i just dont know
i went to a councillor once , she told me i was '' lying and all i wanted was some attention ''
to tell the u the honest truth . i dont want attention
i get enough from the people who hate me
i pretty much just stay in my house and have become invisable
i even find it hard to go to the letter box
my self esteam is no longer
i hate myself to a point where ive thought ... ''bad'' things
ive ****** up my life by not leaving the house
how can i try to help myself
.?
im kinda a loner , and im on the ... ugh bigger side
i have piercings and coloured hair
but does that really give them the right to ruin somebodies life.?
&& i dont understand why they do it
im nice to everybody
ive never hurt anybody
ive never been rude to them
i even go out of my way just to ignore them
by that i mean
if i saw them at school id go the direct opposite way
i would walk with my head down
no eye contact
and with my friends i would
give them anything they wanted
i pay for their things
i take them places
gave them advice
but they never listened to me
i tried
i really did
nd they always just threw it back in my face
Health Question & Answer
i have this thing , wen im alone i remember about the past and i can kinda play and see it out in my mind , and i can see myself and the other person and i start talking out loud and start having an arguement with myself and i start speaking aloud wat i would have said if i could , i do this with everything
i yell at myself whilst showering pretending that people are talking to me saying '' ur to fat '' and i come up with this whole arguement on wat to say back
and sometimes i pretend im with my ex bf and i would go back in time and say al this stuff
idk its just really really weird
and now wen i sleep i cant stop thinking
i go to bed thinking about every single little thing i did that day and go over it and over it in my head + i do this with the past as well
and i just cry thinking about everything i would have done differently
i go to bed at 9.30 pm and i am still wide awake at 10.30 pm - 11.30 pm - 12.30pm - 1.30 am
etc
just analizing everything i did that day
so normally i just end up getting so exausted i fall asleep
then wake up around 12 oclock in the afternoon
im over weight
and i dont excerise
is this the problem.?
idk
i just want to sleep normally
i also have another question and it might help try to figure out wats going on
this doesnt really make sense does it :\
here is some other info it might help
well all my life i have been bullied and pushed around , people laughed , stared , pointed and humiliated me , making me feel worthless , every friend i made always turned on me , and wen i finally think i found somebody i can trust they turn around and do wat everybody else has done
ive had food thrown at me , doughnuts put in my hair , spat on , had drinks tipped over me and a slush puppy during assemblies ;
so i pretty much trust no one
and now i find myself trapped in my house
i havnt seen any of my '' friends '' in 3 months
i left school becoz i was to scared to show up
i didnt do my year 10 exams
im scared of groups of people
and i get to nervous and scared to talk to people
i find myself hating everything and everybody
i find it hard to sleep
i over eat
i just dont know
i went to a councillor once , she told me i was '' lying and all i wanted was some attention ''
to tell the u the honest truth . i dont want attention
i get enough from the people who hate me
i pretty much just stay in my house and have become invisable
i even find it hard to go to the letter box
my self esteam is no longer
i hate myself to a point where ive thought ... ''bad'' things
ive ****** up my life by not leaving the house
how can i try to help myself
.?
im kinda a loner , and im on the ... ugh bigger side
i have piercings and coloured hair
but does that really give them the right to ruin somebodies life.?
&& i dont understand why they do it
im nice to everybody
ive never hurt anybody
ive never been rude to them
i even go out of my way just to ignore them
by that i mean
if i saw them at school id go the direct opposite way
i would walk with my head down
no eye contact
and with my friends i would
give them anything they wanted
i pay for their things
i take them places
gave them advice
but they never listened to me
i tried
i really did
nd they always just threw it back in my face
Health Question & Answer
Answers:
Its very unfortunate how your meeting with that counsellor went. That was definitely a good move on your part. As hard as it is, it is fantastic that you are confronting these difficult emotions just by asking this question. I strongly suggest that you go to a doctor and show them basically all that you have written down today on this page. Contact me if your in doubt. Good luck!Health Question & Answer
Sounds like you just need some friends. Maybe try taking a karate class...it might help get some of the anger out at being misunderstood...Health Question & Answer
You're overreacting to your weight problem.
Go on a diet and slim down and this will probably help.Health Question & Answer
Go on a diet and slim down and this will probably help.Health Question & Answer
Try weight training, or walking for a half an hour or more a day.Health Question & Answer
u need to talk to me :)
for better solution
ammar_javaid18@yaaaaaaaHealth Question & Answer
for better solution
ammar_javaid18@yaaaaaaaHealth Question & Answer
first off you are not crazy! stressed out yes crazy no! because you are a loner as you say you are simply expressing your feelings when you talk to your self! this is healthy. the sleep deal is simply stress ok what to do.? i would start by finding someone to talk to perhaps you can see a counselor or call a crisis hot line if not available where you are at you can email me if you wish to talk or vent best i can do to help but if it will help i will try to listenHealth Question & Answer
nope your not going crazy.everything you wrote sounds like just a enougher day of life. you just got to talk to someone to let it all out.I know it sux's sometimes .but it gets better .trust me it will get better.Health Question & Answer
You need to get out there and start walking and exercising and you need to go on a diet and finish school then you will go to college and be somebody this will take will power and getting up off your butt people have done some terrible things to you that wasnt right now you have to stop feeling sorry for yourself and give yourself a total body workout I meant to be homeschooled so you can finish school you are not happy being trapped in the house so do something about it I have been in your shoes I was poor skinny didnt have the right clothes and was constantly picked on. Now I have the husband kids and house and I am happy I tried college but didnt have the money to I once met a girl who said no one will give me a chance and I told her you have to work for the things you want and change she is now a nurseHealth Question & Answer