How do I tell my mother I need help?!
Question: How do I tell my mother I need help.?
I'm 19 years old and am away at college. I'm finding it difficult to concentrate on my school work. This is my first real time away from home and from my parents and it's killing me.
When I was 15 my parents had found out that I was self-injuring and took me to get help. I was institutionalized for a few weeks, there I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder and put on medications. A few months after that I was institutionalized again for attempting suicide.
I had recently called my mom, as an adult, to talk about dropping the semester so I could move back home and transfer to a school closer to home that I can commute to. We had started to argue, mainly she was yelling about the loan she took out for me. She wasn't hearing what I had to say, so I hung up.
Anyhow, I'm finding it really hard to be away from home. I feel useless and lethargic, I've started to self-injure again and when I'm not doing so, I constantly think about it. I've been at my sister's house for the past week and a half. My mom isn't happy that I'm hear and she's threatened that if I move out I am not welcome back home.
I've failed my midterms and there really isn't any hope in saving the semester. I've talked to my academic advisor and even she said that it's best to withdrawl from school than to recieve F's. I know there isn't any pleasing my mother, so I'm contemplating just returning back to school and take the F's I desever. The way I see it, is neither I, nor my mom will be happy.
My question is, how do I tell my mother I need help.? I'm afraid she's going to tell me I'm being over-dramatic, but this is really hard.Health Question & Answer
When I was 15 my parents had found out that I was self-injuring and took me to get help. I was institutionalized for a few weeks, there I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder and put on medications. A few months after that I was institutionalized again for attempting suicide.
I had recently called my mom, as an adult, to talk about dropping the semester so I could move back home and transfer to a school closer to home that I can commute to. We had started to argue, mainly she was yelling about the loan she took out for me. She wasn't hearing what I had to say, so I hung up.
Anyhow, I'm finding it really hard to be away from home. I feel useless and lethargic, I've started to self-injure again and when I'm not doing so, I constantly think about it. I've been at my sister's house for the past week and a half. My mom isn't happy that I'm hear and she's threatened that if I move out I am not welcome back home.
I've failed my midterms and there really isn't any hope in saving the semester. I've talked to my academic advisor and even she said that it's best to withdrawl from school than to recieve F's. I know there isn't any pleasing my mother, so I'm contemplating just returning back to school and take the F's I desever. The way I see it, is neither I, nor my mom will be happy.
My question is, how do I tell my mother I need help.? I'm afraid she's going to tell me I'm being over-dramatic, but this is really hard.Health Question & Answer
Answers:
Tell her. You need to explain to her what you just explained here. Tell her that it is better to withdraw your classes rather than getting F's and that you will go back to school in the future when you are ready, but right now you are not ready. Work out some sort of agreement to pay her like half of the loan amount back. You know the reason she's doing these things is because she wants you to be happy and do well, but if it isn't working then you need to let her know now to fix the problem. If you don't tell her then you both lose out. You fail your classes and ruin your gpa, you're miserable, then later she finds out and feels like a bad mom. Health Question & Answer
tell her that your not doing well in school and that you need some serious help getting back on track. i advise you to take easier courses, and if they are the easiest, then you need to study the concepts better.Health Question & Answer
Usually at any College Campus there is an office for Students with Disabilities. It isn't limited to Physical disabilities but also those of us who have Mental disorders. I know when I went to college I had everything I could do to get through every term, every week and even day to day for that matter. Have you tried finding help on campus.?
It's possible they could find a solution for you with regards to telling your mom about all of this. In addition, being one who self-injures ( i know from first-hand experience) you need help asap. This Office for Students with Disabilities isn't a school counselor but a special office that deals with what you are going through. Sometimes this person or a group of people might even be a Psychistrist or Proffessional Mental Health counselors.
It's worth a try. If it's only to help you in explaining things to your Mom.
I have a reputation for being the "Drama Queen'. A lot of times people think i'm overreacting or other insulting things like I'm just causing trouble for the sake of it. The facts are that you have some mental issues that need to addressed regardless if you are dramatic or not, right.? It's a lot better to be that way than to hide your feelings and internalize everything and then one day explode or make yourself physically ill.
I wish you the very best of luck. I would be willing to bet if your'e mom just saw your letter on here that she would understand and have a better appreciation of how you are feeling. Maybe you could sit down and write a letter to you Mom.? I find it a lot easier to write things down to people when I know it's going to be a difficult subject. That way I don't forget the important things I want to say and I can just rip up a piece of paper if I don't think it sounds right the first 5, 10 or twenty times.
Best Wishes,
SarahJane
P.S. You are 19 years old right.? You need to start living for you. Apologize to your mom about "the loan' but if you don't start to be a little bit selfich, at least until you fell better about yourself, you are going to have trouble trying to please everyone else. Because that isn't going to happen. You need to start thinking three things 1. You 2. You and 3. YOU.
I will be thinking of you. Health Question & Answer
It's possible they could find a solution for you with regards to telling your mom about all of this. In addition, being one who self-injures ( i know from first-hand experience) you need help asap. This Office for Students with Disabilities isn't a school counselor but a special office that deals with what you are going through. Sometimes this person or a group of people might even be a Psychistrist or Proffessional Mental Health counselors.
It's worth a try. If it's only to help you in explaining things to your Mom.
I have a reputation for being the "Drama Queen'. A lot of times people think i'm overreacting or other insulting things like I'm just causing trouble for the sake of it. The facts are that you have some mental issues that need to addressed regardless if you are dramatic or not, right.? It's a lot better to be that way than to hide your feelings and internalize everything and then one day explode or make yourself physically ill.
I wish you the very best of luck. I would be willing to bet if your'e mom just saw your letter on here that she would understand and have a better appreciation of how you are feeling. Maybe you could sit down and write a letter to you Mom.? I find it a lot easier to write things down to people when I know it's going to be a difficult subject. That way I don't forget the important things I want to say and I can just rip up a piece of paper if I don't think it sounds right the first 5, 10 or twenty times.
Best Wishes,
SarahJane
P.S. You are 19 years old right.? You need to start living for you. Apologize to your mom about "the loan' but if you don't start to be a little bit selfich, at least until you fell better about yourself, you are going to have trouble trying to please everyone else. Because that isn't going to happen. You need to start thinking three things 1. You 2. You and 3. YOU.
I will be thinking of you. Health Question & Answer
Sorry you're going through this. Can your sister help w/talking to your Mom.
It isn't that you 'deserve the Fs', you're just having a hard time right now.
Will your adviser talk to your Mom; maybe a conference call so you can be involved in the conversation as well.
If your Mom is so concerned about the money, tell her you will help pay it as soon as you are capable/feeling well again.
Best wishes :)Health Question & Answer
It isn't that you 'deserve the Fs', you're just having a hard time right now.
Will your adviser talk to your Mom; maybe a conference call so you can be involved in the conversation as well.
If your Mom is so concerned about the money, tell her you will help pay it as soon as you are capable/feeling well again.
Best wishes :)Health Question & Answer
Do they have real counselors at your school, that can provide direction for you. If you can try to concentrate on your studies just until the end of this semester and somehow minimally pass your courses your mom maybe excepting of your transferring to a school near your home next term. It is worth a shot to study for the rest of the term, as it is too convenient and easy to put your hands in the air and give up. TRY. You are worth it, and if you make it, you will love yourself.Health Question & Answer