What should I do about my self harming?!
Question: What should I do about my self harming.?
My name is Stephanie, I'm 17, and I'm from Wyoming. I have been a cutter for 3 years and I haven't cut for a year now. But for some reason they have come back like when I first stopped cutting and I don't know how much longer I can hold on. I have PTSD, bipolar, and depression.
I learned how to cut when I was 5 because I washed my mom do it mine times. I also watched her try to commit suicide, five times. She then went to a state mental hospital for two months and was in therapy for 5 years. To this day I still can't trust her and I always worry about her. By that time dad was so stressed out he told me he couldn't take care of me so my sister and I raised ourselves. And when dad was drunk he would physically abuse us.
Then when I was ten I was raped by a neighbor and so was my sister. I stopped talking for a year after that and I never told anyone about it. My sister did say something and he got 11 years for her rape.
When I turn 12 I had a teacher/coach that molested me. Still didn't say a word to anyone. I became suidical was put on medication that just made it worse. Found my Lord Jesus Christ that year and I wasn't suicidal anymore.
I went to therapy because I was suicidal and met this wonderful guy (so I thought). He was like a father to me and he let me play on his basketball team. The only problem was that he molested me for six months. When I finally got the courage to say no, he went to my sister for 3 years. That is when I started cutting.
A little over a year ago my grandma died and she was one of the most important people in my life. She was the only one that I didn't feel judged by and she loved me unconditionally. When she died I lost it. I started using legal drugs and if I couldn't find them or didn't have the money I would just swellow 10 to 15 over the counter medcation. I tried to committed suicide twice. I was hospitalized and then sent to a residental treatment center. I got help and was there for 4 months and learned alot about myself and other copping skills but they aren't working. I was told I had bipolar disorder.
Still today after the treatment I still have flashbacks and nightmares every night and day. I feel like the only thing that will get my mind off it is drugs or cutting. I've tried to talk to my support group about it but it seem like it's not a big deal to them. I'm just running out of opinions.
Thank you for taking the time to read this.Health Question & Answer
I learned how to cut when I was 5 because I washed my mom do it mine times. I also watched her try to commit suicide, five times. She then went to a state mental hospital for two months and was in therapy for 5 years. To this day I still can't trust her and I always worry about her. By that time dad was so stressed out he told me he couldn't take care of me so my sister and I raised ourselves. And when dad was drunk he would physically abuse us.
Then when I was ten I was raped by a neighbor and so was my sister. I stopped talking for a year after that and I never told anyone about it. My sister did say something and he got 11 years for her rape.
When I turn 12 I had a teacher/coach that molested me. Still didn't say a word to anyone. I became suidical was put on medication that just made it worse. Found my Lord Jesus Christ that year and I wasn't suicidal anymore.
I went to therapy because I was suicidal and met this wonderful guy (so I thought). He was like a father to me and he let me play on his basketball team. The only problem was that he molested me for six months. When I finally got the courage to say no, he went to my sister for 3 years. That is when I started cutting.
A little over a year ago my grandma died and she was one of the most important people in my life. She was the only one that I didn't feel judged by and she loved me unconditionally. When she died I lost it. I started using legal drugs and if I couldn't find them or didn't have the money I would just swellow 10 to 15 over the counter medcation. I tried to committed suicide twice. I was hospitalized and then sent to a residental treatment center. I got help and was there for 4 months and learned alot about myself and other copping skills but they aren't working. I was told I had bipolar disorder.
Still today after the treatment I still have flashbacks and nightmares every night and day. I feel like the only thing that will get my mind off it is drugs or cutting. I've tried to talk to my support group about it but it seem like it's not a big deal to them. I'm just running out of opinions.
Thank you for taking the time to read this.Health Question & Answer
Answers:
hun i know how u feel... im a cutter to and i stopped for like 2 months and just recently started again.... im going to try and commit suicide to as soon as i get a good quick and painless idea.... ur not in this alone just stay strong.... i hope u do better than me.... good luck.Health Question & Answer
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