Why am I becoming so heartless?!
Question: Why am I becoming so heartless.?
Over the past year I've just stopped caring about things. No big life changes have struck me lately, and while I admit I do care about a close group of people (namely my family), I find it hard to look at my fellow man and frankly give a damn about anyone else.
I happen to have a lot of friends around me at all times, but I've gotten better at hiding my real emotions or rather, the lack thereof. I still help people and am courteous, but mostly because I know that behaving like this is what is accepted in society. I've reached a point in my life where I have no feelings for pretty much anything. I'm not excited about the things that used to excite me, I'm not afraid or sad about the things that used to upset me.
The main feeling that I do still possess would have to be anger. Sometimes when I look at people I just get so mad at little things that I need to go lay down.
I recognize that I used to be a very caring individual, so while my new change doesn't necessarily upset me I wish to know why this may be happening to me. I realize that years ago when I used to still have sympathy I was much happier, and that is something I do miss. I don't want to create the impression that I would ever intentionally hurt anyone, because although people generally anger me I would never hurt anyone. Health Question & Answer
I happen to have a lot of friends around me at all times, but I've gotten better at hiding my real emotions or rather, the lack thereof. I still help people and am courteous, but mostly because I know that behaving like this is what is accepted in society. I've reached a point in my life where I have no feelings for pretty much anything. I'm not excited about the things that used to excite me, I'm not afraid or sad about the things that used to upset me.
The main feeling that I do still possess would have to be anger. Sometimes when I look at people I just get so mad at little things that I need to go lay down.
I recognize that I used to be a very caring individual, so while my new change doesn't necessarily upset me I wish to know why this may be happening to me. I realize that years ago when I used to still have sympathy I was much happier, and that is something I do miss. I don't want to create the impression that I would ever intentionally hurt anyone, because although people generally anger me I would never hurt anyone. Health Question & Answer
Answers:
Oh, I know what you're feeling very well. And some :P You're a free mind, now. You can do whatever you like with your new self awareness, with the knowledge that you aren't tethered by the 'necessity' of feelings or emotions. If you're truly cold, you might discover how to remove and replace personality traits.
I can feel. I do feel. Anger, grief, guilt, sympathy, pity. I can also choose not to feel these things as and when it suits me. Most people live thier lives in a cocoon of expectations. In a world of should, shouldn't, must and ought to. I live in a world of 'I will' and 'I will not,' and the only expectations I have are the ones I choose to accept for myself. For MY reasons. And I would die to maintain this freedom. People who truly understand the value of free will are few and far between, and like every great gift, it comes with a cost.
One you've learned to be heartless, it's very, very hard to go back.
My advice...if you want to be this way, nurture it. Be grateful for it, and let your new mentality blossom. If you don't, seek counselling, medication, whatever you need, and hope that you can be 'fixed.'
I would never go back, I've never been more content in my life. but if this doesn't make you happy, it might be worth fighting to get the old you back.
It might also be a mood imbalance, it could also be depression. Have you considered speaking to a doctor about this.? Depression can make you feel this way. Maturity can also do this, to an extent, so it depends on exactly where you are in life and life's situations, as to how much of it can be attributed to simply 'growing up.'
Incidentally, I don't think anyone can tell you 'why' you're like this. It's something you have to discover for yourself - because nobody else has acess to every nuance, mkemory and influence that helped shape you.
I'd love to have a chat about this with you some time, so if you need an ear from someone who's likely to understand, feel free to give me a bell. I'm really very nice and I hardly ever bite at all :)
Rose_Skye0@yahoo.co.ukHealth Question & Answer
I can feel. I do feel. Anger, grief, guilt, sympathy, pity. I can also choose not to feel these things as and when it suits me. Most people live thier lives in a cocoon of expectations. In a world of should, shouldn't, must and ought to. I live in a world of 'I will' and 'I will not,' and the only expectations I have are the ones I choose to accept for myself. For MY reasons. And I would die to maintain this freedom. People who truly understand the value of free will are few and far between, and like every great gift, it comes with a cost.
One you've learned to be heartless, it's very, very hard to go back.
My advice...if you want to be this way, nurture it. Be grateful for it, and let your new mentality blossom. If you don't, seek counselling, medication, whatever you need, and hope that you can be 'fixed.'
I would never go back, I've never been more content in my life. but if this doesn't make you happy, it might be worth fighting to get the old you back.
It might also be a mood imbalance, it could also be depression. Have you considered speaking to a doctor about this.? Depression can make you feel this way. Maturity can also do this, to an extent, so it depends on exactly where you are in life and life's situations, as to how much of it can be attributed to simply 'growing up.'
Incidentally, I don't think anyone can tell you 'why' you're like this. It's something you have to discover for yourself - because nobody else has acess to every nuance, mkemory and influence that helped shape you.
I'd love to have a chat about this with you some time, so if you need an ear from someone who's likely to understand, feel free to give me a bell. I'm really very nice and I hardly ever bite at all :)
Rose_Skye0@yahoo.co.ukHealth Question & Answer
seriously where the **** is praying going to get him, just get over it, please you're old enough to think for yourself so you know any religion is a heap of ****.
back on topic, im the same, it doesnt really bother me though because the person you dont care about doesnt care about you either, a stranger wouldnt stop you on the street to care so why should you.Health Question & Answer
back on topic, im the same, it doesnt really bother me though because the person you dont care about doesnt care about you either, a stranger wouldnt stop you on the street to care so why should you.Health Question & Answer
Try praying.? you may have nothing to lose & lots to gain. Maybe you are depressed.? Most men don't recognize that they are. (If you are male).
I reached a point too a couple years ago where I longed for my tender childhood feelings. I was much happier then. Sometimes just practicing to be caring helps because it releases those happy chemicals that you need. I read that just smiling at someone releases endorphins. Good luck!Health Question & Answer
I reached a point too a couple years ago where I longed for my tender childhood feelings. I was much happier then. Sometimes just practicing to be caring helps because it releases those happy chemicals that you need. I read that just smiling at someone releases endorphins. Good luck!Health Question & Answer
wow, I thought I was the only one. You described how I feel and my interpersonal interactions to a "T".
Not to sound dumb, but if you have Showtime, you may want to start watching "Dexter". The main character has the exact same issues. In an odd way, it made me feel more normal to know that there are others out there who feel the same way (so much so that a character was written into a TV show with such feelings, or lack thereof).
Health Question & Answer
Not to sound dumb, but if you have Showtime, you may want to start watching "Dexter". The main character has the exact same issues. In an odd way, it made me feel more normal to know that there are others out there who feel the same way (so much so that a character was written into a TV show with such feelings, or lack thereof).
Health Question & Answer
You put exactly what I go through everyday. Everytime, I look at people or interact with people, I am just consumed by this overwhelming anger and I just want to shut the door behind. I think you are not necessarily uncaring, emotionally cold person. (just the fact you are concenred shows how much you are the other way around.) I think maybe you are hurt by people and you are creating this wall so as to protect with yourself. For example, when I bump into people laughing toge, I immediately think they'll be against me or something. I fake smile on people so as to be seen "normal." And to protect myself from negative criticism and related stigma.
But I do know when I come back to my room, I am left with this emotional baggage, or numbness, and loneliness.
I think you are putting too much pressure on yourself, as well. (but i am not so sure, i am not a therapist.)
I think it might be helpful to get really good therapist. (not just a midiocre one.) - I've interviewed 10 therapist and I've found pretty all right therapist. (someone who understands me). Even he is not perfect therapist, i think you might learn some tools to look at yourself in different perspective, and find your sense of real authentic self again.
don't blame yourself too much. You just have wounds that needs to be healed. Health Question & Answer
But I do know when I come back to my room, I am left with this emotional baggage, or numbness, and loneliness.
I think you are putting too much pressure on yourself, as well. (but i am not so sure, i am not a therapist.)
I think it might be helpful to get really good therapist. (not just a midiocre one.) - I've interviewed 10 therapist and I've found pretty all right therapist. (someone who understands me). Even he is not perfect therapist, i think you might learn some tools to look at yourself in different perspective, and find your sense of real authentic self again.
don't blame yourself too much. You just have wounds that needs to be healed. Health Question & Answer
Well, it's a good thing that you aren't hurting anyone, first off. I understand your feelings, because I have been doing the same things. Getting angry for little reasons, not caring about sad or happy things, and stuff like that. What I think is that it's just a phase, and it'll soon go away. But for some people, like me, i'm not satisfied with the answer. What I would try to do is talk to someone about it, like someone in your family, or one of your very close friends. They might be able to help. Then try to please yourself with things that are relaxing, like a trip to the spa, if you have time, or a walk in a park, or maybe if it helps, go shopping. Gradually, you should "emotionize" yourself. (I just made up that word, I guess it means to build up your emotions...LOL.) But anyways, do things that make you happy, and when it comes the time to be sad about something, try feeling like it really went deep. Don't force yourself, that's not good! But just try and do your best at "emotionizing" yourself, and hopefully you will gain more emotion! I hope this helps you!!Health Question & Answer
Hun you are exactly like me i scowl, i give people dodgy looks and i shut the world away. It sounds like anxiety, low self-esteem and depression, it makes you feel jealous of other people because deep down inside you are unhappy and they look happy, but i think deep down they are just as unhappy and put on a front just like we are doing. Everybody has problems and everyone suffers with stress, you get angry just like me because you want to be just as happy as them, but they arent really happy they just put on a front, i am a Complementary Therapist and i have counselling skills so i know this. First and foremost you are still caring, you are a unique individual and it sounds like you are sensitive and pick up on other ppls emotions and it kinda brings you down knowing you could help them if say they wud let you or if they would say hello to you, but nobody is a mind reader, you cant really tell wot a person feels inside, everyone is holistic, this word holistic means a Whole Person made up of many parts, what you dont see is their emotions, their insides, feel their pain, hear their thoughts etc etc you only hear and feel yours so really it may look like they r ok but ur only seeing their physical side and remember looks are decieving, trust me as a Holistic Therapist i have realised everyone is a unique and distinct individual and not the same just as we think they are and its natural for everyone to put a mask on when they socialise. I guess what you need is overcome your low self-esteem and pamper yourself, book yourself in for a massage or reflexology session and put urself just for once, think just about you and learn to deal with any stress you have, THINK POSITIVE, in the end negativity will only bring you down and you wont have dealt with the root cause or overcome the problem but it will get worse. Hope this helps if you want more info or to ask more questions, email me at wellnesscreator@yahoo.co.uk and i will be happy to answer any health questions or more questions briefly or do you have a health pack for half price. Hope this all helps,
Robert Dixon (MICHT)
Complementary Therapist
Wellness Creator
"Therapies for Mind, Body and Soul" Health Question & Answer
Robert Dixon (MICHT)
Complementary Therapist
Wellness Creator
"Therapies for Mind, Body and Soul" Health Question & Answer