How do I approach my cousin's anorexia problem carefully?!
Question: How do I approach my cousin's anorexia problem carefully.?
I'm generally a blunt and truthful person. I've pissed a few people off that way, when I really had their best interests at heart.
Well now, I'm pretty sure my favorite cousin is anorexic. I already told her that she looks a little unhealthy, and I'm lucky that didn't scare her away. How can I talk to her about this without her turning her back on me.?
Here's some background:
Her parents are both body builders. Image matters a LOT to them. Her older sister dropped out of high school and had a baby, and their parents actually disowned her for a while. Her younger sister (only 13) we hear already is anorexic. Her father once tore his tendons doing squats with too much weight (we suspect he was on roids). They've always been health freaks, which I suppose is fine. But now she looks super bony (see her picture: http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm.?fus... and when I asked how she gets that way, she told me she eats two baby carrots for breakfast, a stick of gum for lunch, and half a peach for dinner. Every day. (She's a vegetarian too, but probably not for the animal rights reason.)
She poses on Myspace in her underwear and stuff all the time, because the guys like it. She's really popular because of her body, and that probably makes her more determined to keep it that way.
She doesn't even seem to know that it's a problem, which is good and bad... good because she openly told me about her eating habits, and is probably willing to talk about it, but bad because it'll be that much harder to convince her it's a problem...
What should I do.?
Her parents probably don't think she has a problem either, so I don't think I can really go to them.. plus they don't get along that well with my parents. Health Question & Answer
Well now, I'm pretty sure my favorite cousin is anorexic. I already told her that she looks a little unhealthy, and I'm lucky that didn't scare her away. How can I talk to her about this without her turning her back on me.?
Here's some background:
Her parents are both body builders. Image matters a LOT to them. Her older sister dropped out of high school and had a baby, and their parents actually disowned her for a while. Her younger sister (only 13) we hear already is anorexic. Her father once tore his tendons doing squats with too much weight (we suspect he was on roids). They've always been health freaks, which I suppose is fine. But now she looks super bony (see her picture: http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm.?fus... and when I asked how she gets that way, she told me she eats two baby carrots for breakfast, a stick of gum for lunch, and half a peach for dinner. Every day. (She's a vegetarian too, but probably not for the animal rights reason.)
She poses on Myspace in her underwear and stuff all the time, because the guys like it. She's really popular because of her body, and that probably makes her more determined to keep it that way.
She doesn't even seem to know that it's a problem, which is good and bad... good because she openly told me about her eating habits, and is probably willing to talk about it, but bad because it'll be that much harder to convince her it's a problem...
What should I do.?
Her parents probably don't think she has a problem either, so I don't think I can really go to them.. plus they don't get along that well with my parents. Health Question & Answer
Answers:
There are things that it is impossible bring up carefully. If talking fails, how about taking a picture of her that hows how truly unhealthy she looks. You can't convince someone that something they are doing is wrong if they are convinced of the opposite. So you have to show them. You can also take her to a nutritionist and not tell her until she's there, considering how much body mass she has I doubt holding her there will be a problem. Or you can wait till she collapses from malnutrition (which will happen soon if she's really eating that little) and Then take her to the nutritionist so he can let her know that eating that little actually lows one's metabolism to the point where one meal will make her fat because she is telling her body to not burn anything. There's a difference between being fit and healthy and what she is right now.Health Question & Answer
damn... she looks way to skinny...
bones aren't flattering..
i don't think you can help her..
Health Question & Answer
bones aren't flattering..
i don't think you can help her..
Health Question & Answer
Don't do anything.
There's nothing you can do.
She needs to get over it herself.
You are aware she is an attention seeker, and being concerned about her health will only make her happy that she's getting attention, and more likely to keep it up.
Ignore her and butt out is my advice. There's nothing you could possibly do to get her to stop. Anorexia, especially in cases of dysfunctional families... is extremely complicated and near impossible to fix, even with months of inpatient treatment and therapy.
So you simply speaking up about it isn't going to do anything. As you can see, she has plenty of friends and people to talk to if she needs to. She doesn't need your help.
You might say that was me being blunt - i'm sure you can appreciate it. Please don't bother emailing me all pss off.Health Question & Answer
There's nothing you can do.
She needs to get over it herself.
You are aware she is an attention seeker, and being concerned about her health will only make her happy that she's getting attention, and more likely to keep it up.
Ignore her and butt out is my advice. There's nothing you could possibly do to get her to stop. Anorexia, especially in cases of dysfunctional families... is extremely complicated and near impossible to fix, even with months of inpatient treatment and therapy.
So you simply speaking up about it isn't going to do anything. As you can see, she has plenty of friends and people to talk to if she needs to. She doesn't need your help.
You might say that was me being blunt - i'm sure you can appreciate it. Please don't bother emailing me all pss off.Health Question & Answer
Anorexia is a phobic reaction to a disappointment in relationships. Anorexics are approval oriented. Your friend probably seeks approval from her parents and does not get it.
Successive approximation is one possibility. One anorexic I worked with would not drink any liquid other than water. She wouldn't drink juice. So I started her on liquid Chinese ginseng. She agreed to it because the taste was not sweet and it contained zero calories. On the other hand it is an energizer of sorts. Once she was drinking the ginseng, a little later, she started with the juice, then the soup, etc.
Successive approximation takes a long time but it is better than the alternative, forced feeding. Health Question & Answer
Successive approximation is one possibility. One anorexic I worked with would not drink any liquid other than water. She wouldn't drink juice. So I started her on liquid Chinese ginseng. She agreed to it because the taste was not sweet and it contained zero calories. On the other hand it is an energizer of sorts. Once she was drinking the ginseng, a little later, she started with the juice, then the soup, etc.
Successive approximation takes a long time but it is better than the alternative, forced feeding. Health Question & Answer
Well firstly, be careful with your words, although it might not seem to make sense telling someone with Anorexia that they "look a little unhealthy" is actually encouraging their disorder. To them they hear " your doing this right your getting sickly thin good job its working all your efforts are working now you must try even harder to get even thinner until someone says your totally unhealthy or sickly thin."
How old is she. Are you sure she has the disorder or are you only basing it on her size and what she tells you. Anorexics tend not to hide there disorder so they can keep getting away with it not flaunt it... although some DO. look up tell tale signs like bruising on the first two fingers, drastic weight losses, dark circles under the eyes, flaky skin, the person is always cold. look up sites that detail this more and be ever vigilant watching her.
When you do approach her try your best to steer the conversation away from her diet excersise or body size. Anorexics are obsessed with these topics and can easily twist your well meaning discussion into fuel for their disorder.
Just be direct, I believe or i know you are anorexic, be SURE not to just assume, and I will not tolerate you killing yourself. I love you desperately and I realize this is hard for you. Then let her know your there when shes ready or needs to talk to someone.
Leave her be, if she continues, seek help from somewhere even if her parents wont understand. She may say that she hates you. Be prepared. Its terrifying to think of giving up the disorder. But if she receives help likely eventually she will thank you for loving her enough to notice and caring enough to save her from herself.
But be very careful not to accuse or assume on this one. And ask counselors etc before you act on anything you get here on yahoo answers.
Health Question & Answer
How old is she. Are you sure she has the disorder or are you only basing it on her size and what she tells you. Anorexics tend not to hide there disorder so they can keep getting away with it not flaunt it... although some DO. look up tell tale signs like bruising on the first two fingers, drastic weight losses, dark circles under the eyes, flaky skin, the person is always cold. look up sites that detail this more and be ever vigilant watching her.
When you do approach her try your best to steer the conversation away from her diet excersise or body size. Anorexics are obsessed with these topics and can easily twist your well meaning discussion into fuel for their disorder.
Just be direct, I believe or i know you are anorexic, be SURE not to just assume, and I will not tolerate you killing yourself. I love you desperately and I realize this is hard for you. Then let her know your there when shes ready or needs to talk to someone.
Leave her be, if she continues, seek help from somewhere even if her parents wont understand. She may say that she hates you. Be prepared. Its terrifying to think of giving up the disorder. But if she receives help likely eventually she will thank you for loving her enough to notice and caring enough to save her from herself.
But be very careful not to accuse or assume on this one. And ask counselors etc before you act on anything you get here on yahoo answers.
Health Question & Answer