Problems that adult children have?!
Question: Problems that adult children have.?
I'm in my first year of university, and I've been having problems finding my place here. My biggest issue is that my dad is an alcoholic, and because of that I just dont fit in with the drinking scene. EVERYONE I know drinks, to an excess, all the time. Thats sort of a part of the University lifestyle I guess, and its really hard because, although I drink on occasion, I really dont enjoy drinking, and I avoid being around drunk people because I feel like thats what I was trying to escape when I left home, and I just feel really anxious around drunk people.
My question is, how can I get over that, how can I still have a good time and make lots of friends, and not let this stand in my way.? thanks in advanceHealth Question & Answer
My question is, how can I get over that, how can I still have a good time and make lots of friends, and not let this stand in my way.? thanks in advanceHealth Question & Answer
Answers:
ACOA - adult children of alcoholics. Its a 12 step group you may not know exists.
Take it from me, my father was an alcoholic too and Ive just finished my bachelors, your right that it is everywhere your first year.
Many students don't have a taste of addiction and their first year of college they have an illusion that everyone in college drinks all the time and parties A Lot. Many do not have the knowledge that you have about alcoholism... though SOME DO and feel just like you. Truth be told this is just a phase. Most of the "drinking scene" is only in first year students, some in second year, and later on in those folks that only other heavy drinkers associate with.
So if you can hold out your freshman year it gets better. the focus is far less on drinking as you go and many may even look down on doing it often the farther you get. Some end up regretting behavior they did their freshman year... so your actually off to a good start not wanting to "get into" that "scene".
It will be slightly harder to meet friends without being a drinker but it is possible. Everyone wants to meet everyone freshman year. Find the groups and clubs that drinking would not mix with and join them. Many schools have AA meetings etc you may be able to get acquainted with some type of group like this on your campus and meet others who are in the same boat.
Just remember... its the FRESHMAN life style not the university lifestyle. Your better off without it, without what you might regret later from being around it, and the kind of friends you might meet in that scene are likely not the kind of long term connections your going to want around you later anyway.
Dont be afraid to vent to the campus counseling office. They may have some social ideas for you too.
Health Question & Answer
Take it from me, my father was an alcoholic too and Ive just finished my bachelors, your right that it is everywhere your first year.
Many students don't have a taste of addiction and their first year of college they have an illusion that everyone in college drinks all the time and parties A Lot. Many do not have the knowledge that you have about alcoholism... though SOME DO and feel just like you. Truth be told this is just a phase. Most of the "drinking scene" is only in first year students, some in second year, and later on in those folks that only other heavy drinkers associate with.
So if you can hold out your freshman year it gets better. the focus is far less on drinking as you go and many may even look down on doing it often the farther you get. Some end up regretting behavior they did their freshman year... so your actually off to a good start not wanting to "get into" that "scene".
It will be slightly harder to meet friends without being a drinker but it is possible. Everyone wants to meet everyone freshman year. Find the groups and clubs that drinking would not mix with and join them. Many schools have AA meetings etc you may be able to get acquainted with some type of group like this on your campus and meet others who are in the same boat.
Just remember... its the FRESHMAN life style not the university lifestyle. Your better off without it, without what you might regret later from being around it, and the kind of friends you might meet in that scene are likely not the kind of long term connections your going to want around you later anyway.
Dont be afraid to vent to the campus counseling office. They may have some social ideas for you too.
Health Question & Answer