Abuse in the family. looking for answers from professionals in the pschological field or from experience?!
Question: Abuse in the family. looking for answers from professionals in the pschological field or from experience.?
i am 19 and i have a brother that is 16. i know it doesn't seem like he would be the abuser but hes much bigger and stronger than i am. if i do the smallest things lately he snaps and will have me in a choke hold or start beating and punching me till im on the floor covering my face and trying to stop him. what the fights originate from are stupid little verbal arguments like for instance i'll ask him if i can have the phone or the internet, which we have a rule in the house one or the other so you have to give up either the phone or the internet. this afternoon i asked him this, he refused both and since our parents weren't home he of course didn't care. so i got up and picked the phone up and just hit talk, it was a scare and i had no intention of actually doing anything more. but before i could turn around and hang it back up he came flying at me nearly knocked my teeth out and had wrestled me into a chokeing position. i couldn't call for help grab anything to stop him or knock him off. i was terrified, this was the latest one and they are becoming more frequent. whenever i tried to pull away and get into a fetal position he would cease choking and start punching me in my had and back while he grabbed me by the hair and was saying things like are you gonna do it again, and now what are you gonna do.
i don't know anymore, this time i was really scared and he is taking it too far, and what is really scary is he thinks its ok to do, he feels it will teach me a lesson. after the fight he even told me i should have waited till you passed out (meaning i should have held on longer) and that next time he will beat me so bad i have to go to the hospital.
we do come from a family where my father was abusive and has anger problems aswell.
what should i do here, i try talking to my dad about it and he just said you guys need to work it out. if i talk to my mom, who is my step mother his real mom and i think she has a maternal soft spot for the things he does, like letting him get away with things and finding some way to make it my fault for why he did what he did. sometimes she will except what he does but then trys to play the whole thing off like hey its over lets move on.
what should i do here, something i can do myself to help the situation, no one else is going to help me out here.
and again, he truely believes what he's doing is ok
Health Question & Answer
i don't know anymore, this time i was really scared and he is taking it too far, and what is really scary is he thinks its ok to do, he feels it will teach me a lesson. after the fight he even told me i should have waited till you passed out (meaning i should have held on longer) and that next time he will beat me so bad i have to go to the hospital.
we do come from a family where my father was abusive and has anger problems aswell.
what should i do here, i try talking to my dad about it and he just said you guys need to work it out. if i talk to my mom, who is my step mother his real mom and i think she has a maternal soft spot for the things he does, like letting him get away with things and finding some way to make it my fault for why he did what he did. sometimes she will except what he does but then trys to play the whole thing off like hey its over lets move on.
what should i do here, something i can do myself to help the situation, no one else is going to help me out here.
and again, he truely believes what he's doing is ok
Health Question & Answer
Answers:
I sense you aren't telling your real ages but I could be wrong.
Children that grow up in an abusive home think it's normal if they don't get help.
Both you and your brother need counseling and your parents are enabling your brother through their ignorance. This will cause him many problems in the future. He will probably abuse his wife and/or children, and end up in jail. He could even end up killing someone.
There doesn't seem to be much you can do about it since you are no longer a minor as you say. The authorities would just tell you to get out of the situation. If he is being abused by his father you could report the situation to the child welfare authorities and you SHOULD.
If you don't get out of there this will escalate. Your brother is "acting out" his anger and pain.
Where is your mother.? If she is alive perhaps you can stay with her...or another relative.
Legally you can protect yourself, but the best thing to do is avoid him. AVOID him.Health Question & Answer
Children that grow up in an abusive home think it's normal if they don't get help.
Both you and your brother need counseling and your parents are enabling your brother through their ignorance. This will cause him many problems in the future. He will probably abuse his wife and/or children, and end up in jail. He could even end up killing someone.
There doesn't seem to be much you can do about it since you are no longer a minor as you say. The authorities would just tell you to get out of the situation. If he is being abused by his father you could report the situation to the child welfare authorities and you SHOULD.
If you don't get out of there this will escalate. Your brother is "acting out" his anger and pain.
Where is your mother.? If she is alive perhaps you can stay with her...or another relative.
Legally you can protect yourself, but the best thing to do is avoid him. AVOID him.Health Question & Answer
walk around the house armed then he wont touch you.
Or move out. You're 19 and you are old enough to move out of that suckey household! Move in with a friend!!
ROOMMATES!!!!! Health Question & Answer
Or move out. You're 19 and you are old enough to move out of that suckey household! Move in with a friend!!
ROOMMATES!!!!! Health Question & Answer
You MUST get out of the situation. You could call the police when he does this and they may have to arrest him. But in any event you must leave. Your life could be in danger.
Abusers like this almost always escalate, and the beating could be more and more dangerous. He needs help or if not, then he needs to spend time in jail.
Get out NOW.Health Question & Answer
Abusers like this almost always escalate, and the beating could be more and more dangerous. He needs help or if not, then he needs to spend time in jail.
Get out NOW.Health Question & Answer
MOVE OUT. The behavior will never get any better, it will only get worse. Or, take up for yourself-in ANY way possible. Health Question & Answer
You must call the police or stay with a friend that he doesn't know or can't get to, tell the police and get him help, your brother has a very serious problem, and needs help, or else this could happen to someone else, i suggest that you should maybe not tell your parents in the event they tell him or leak it through to him but yes stay with someone b/c it does not sound safe at all.
good luckHealth Question & Answer
good luckHealth Question & Answer
Tell him that he is breaking the law by abusing you and that he is a really evil person. He does do this because of your father. That was his example of a man and that's why he thinks it is okay to do that but it's not. Ask him one day when he's not in a bad mood why he feels okay about hurting his sister. He could have something really wrong with him. He could be a psychopath since he doesn't seem to feel bad for the things he does to you. Honestly if I were you and my brother did that, I would call the cops and make him have the most miserable time of his life in jail. You watch out for his girlfriends in the future because once he feels comfortable around them he will abuse them too.
No offense but people like your brother do not deserve to have good lives.Health Question & Answer
No offense but people like your brother do not deserve to have good lives.Health Question & Answer