I quit a martial arts clas the instructor was an army major and a teacher at a university the reason I quit ?!
Question: I quit a martial arts clas the instructor was an army major and a teacher at a university the reason I quit .?
was because he was sexually harassing me and its like he was punishing me for getting mad and not giving me my belt that I worked so hard for. Every time a see his girlfriend she stick her chest out and walks real arrogant and she acts stupid. She works in the college Business office and I have to go in their to pick up my financial aid check. It has been 3 months going on 4 and every Tues. and Thurs. I am mad and I try to get into an argument or fight not knowing what im doing. I've tried to stop, but my mind keeps flashing back to him sexually harassing me and the things he would say. How do I live my life and get this out of my head and become an emotionally stable and mentally stable person.? Im so sick of the way I act every Tues. and Thurs. I can't go to another martial arts place because of my money situation, but when I went to his class I was never ever late on a payment. Please non criticizing advice.?Health Question & Answer
Answers:
I am a Tai Chi/Self Defence instructor myself & let me just say that the way this instructor has treated you is disgusting.
He has violated his "Duty of Care" responsibility, which is the moral & legal responsibility of all instructors (not just in the martial arts). This is a WRITTEN LAW, not just a moral stand.
You have done the right thing in leaving his class.
A proper instructor should aim to master his/her personality & mind, as well as the body. He has obviously not come close to this yet & has acted in a way that would shame even the lowest belted student in his class.
Let me assure you that although this is not an isolated case, it is not a common occurrence in a martial arts. You have been unlucky in this case; for this, you have my deepest & heartfelt sympathies.
If you want my two cents worth, here it is but please note that I am not trying to force my opinion, it is just what I think. Please excuse my long winded response, but I feel that this merits a serious response.
a) You have definitely done the right thing in leaving that class.
b) You could seek out some professional advice of some type to help sort through the emotional damage caused by the teacher. There are plenty of crisis lines also, & I believe there are free services of this nature available if money is an issue. This may sound a little extreme at first, but all information & discussion is treated as totally confidential & they are friendly.
c) If you are comfortable to, decide whether you want to press charges. Let me assure you that the martial arts industry takes such matters very seriously indeed. The councillor mentioned in b) may be able to help you make the right decision for yourself. If you do decide to there are a number of options open to you. I am not an expert at law but I do know of one central body of martial arts registrars called MAIA (Martial Arts Industry Association Limited). They are easy to find online, though I am based in Australia, so you might have to look for another similar place to look at if you are from a different country. I attended one of their meetings & they are experienced at dealing with cases such as yours. From my understanding, they should be able to give you the right advice on what to do. They are a REGULATORY as well as registratory body, so they constantly take up cases for victims of such misconduct as has happened to you. Here is their services web link: http://www.maia.com.au/pages/ourservices...
If there was harrassment out of the class, you could follow the normal legal channels also.
d) If you wish to take the matter further, you could also take it to the appropriate University department; I'm sure they wouldn't be very happy with a teacher who harrasses his students.
e) By all means please find a different teacher, even if it means waiting for a while before you can afford it; it's just not worth going back to this one.
f) Most important of all, go easy on yourself; it's not your fault. How could you have possibly known.? Remember there is support out there, & you are not alone.
Of course, what you want to do about this is totally up to you.
I hope I have been of some help to you.
Much Peace & Luck to you, RashanHealth Question & Answer
He has violated his "Duty of Care" responsibility, which is the moral & legal responsibility of all instructors (not just in the martial arts). This is a WRITTEN LAW, not just a moral stand.
You have done the right thing in leaving his class.
A proper instructor should aim to master his/her personality & mind, as well as the body. He has obviously not come close to this yet & has acted in a way that would shame even the lowest belted student in his class.
Let me assure you that although this is not an isolated case, it is not a common occurrence in a martial arts. You have been unlucky in this case; for this, you have my deepest & heartfelt sympathies.
If you want my two cents worth, here it is but please note that I am not trying to force my opinion, it is just what I think. Please excuse my long winded response, but I feel that this merits a serious response.
a) You have definitely done the right thing in leaving that class.
b) You could seek out some professional advice of some type to help sort through the emotional damage caused by the teacher. There are plenty of crisis lines also, & I believe there are free services of this nature available if money is an issue. This may sound a little extreme at first, but all information & discussion is treated as totally confidential & they are friendly.
c) If you are comfortable to, decide whether you want to press charges. Let me assure you that the martial arts industry takes such matters very seriously indeed. The councillor mentioned in b) may be able to help you make the right decision for yourself. If you do decide to there are a number of options open to you. I am not an expert at law but I do know of one central body of martial arts registrars called MAIA (Martial Arts Industry Association Limited). They are easy to find online, though I am based in Australia, so you might have to look for another similar place to look at if you are from a different country. I attended one of their meetings & they are experienced at dealing with cases such as yours. From my understanding, they should be able to give you the right advice on what to do. They are a REGULATORY as well as registratory body, so they constantly take up cases for victims of such misconduct as has happened to you. Here is their services web link: http://www.maia.com.au/pages/ourservices...
If there was harrassment out of the class, you could follow the normal legal channels also.
d) If you wish to take the matter further, you could also take it to the appropriate University department; I'm sure they wouldn't be very happy with a teacher who harrasses his students.
e) By all means please find a different teacher, even if it means waiting for a while before you can afford it; it's just not worth going back to this one.
f) Most important of all, go easy on yourself; it's not your fault. How could you have possibly known.? Remember there is support out there, & you are not alone.
Of course, what you want to do about this is totally up to you.
I hope I have been of some help to you.
Much Peace & Luck to you, RashanHealth Question & Answer
This is typical behavior of some ex military personnel and especially officers.I'm sorry but there is nothing you cab do about it. This is another case of the double standard.Good luck with your martial arts in this day and time they can literally save your life....Health Question & Answer