Ending a relationship with someone with mental illness?!
Question: Ending a relationship with someone with mental illness.?
Okay, I started seeing someone who suffers severe depression, maybe undiagnosed bipolar disorder about 3 months ago. Within a month I became aware of it when she broke up with me, the reason being that she was confused about her sexual orientation. Following this I wasn't angry but told her that I would stay friends with her, knowing that you can't change your sexuality and this is a part of growing up. Shortly after she was admitted to hospital (a private mental hospital) as she was suffering extreme depression including suicidal tendencies, self harm and allot of anti social behavior. As her friend i stuck by her to lend some support. I visited her 2 - 3 times a week in hospital and within her 3 week stay we started sleeping with each other again and ultimately rekindled some kind of romance. I think at the time I would have done anything to help this girl out and when she was with me her depression seemed to subside for a couple of hours. Eventually of course she was discharged. Now however the trials of being in such a rocky relationship have become so great and I cannot stand to feel like a carer anymore, Through my ignorance I thought maybe things would go back to "normal" however I long to be in a well adjusted functional relationship, something she can't provide. So knowing that she could be admitted to hospital so easily after just getting out and her history of self harm, how do i end this relationship without harming her and putting her back to where she started .?Health Question & Answer
Answers:
In the first 3 months of any relationship, it's likely to find out 'hidden truths' about a new friend that hadn't surfaced prior to getting into the intimate part of the relationship. If it's obvious that a normal healthy relationship is not possible - or even just the type of relationship you want to be in - then you need to get out asap. Be considerate, but do not feel like you have any responsibility of how the other person reacts to your decision. Her potential response to you breaking up with her cannot be used to blackmail you emotionally. Do what you have to do, be kind and considerate in the process, and have no regrets.Health Question & Answer
I didnt get past the question but PLEASE let her down gently.Health Question & Answer
I suggest you do some research on "Borderline Personality Disorder" or "BPD" - she's got classic symptoms. My son is stuck in the same situation you are in, except they are married & have a child together - get out while you can, dude - it will only get worse unless she is properly diagnosed and treated. Unfortunately you can't "force" someone to accept their diagnosis or seek treatment which is what makes mental illness to hard to deal with. DO NOT FEEL GUILTY for breaking up with her or what she does to herself afterwards - it's not your fault & nothing you can do will change her except guide her towards treatment. Health Question & Answer
As someone who suffers from depression and also as a woman.I would say you have to do what you have to do.I hate when people treat me diff because I have a mental illness.Say you will be her friend because when your depressed you need all the supp you can get.Offer to drive her to get help.That way she knows you care.If she goes to the hospital maybe it would be good for her.I have been to the hospital a few times.Sometimes it just what you need.Health Question & Answer
It sounds as if you have been a very supportive and attentive friend and I can understand how being with someone with mental issues can overwhelm you. What I don't understand is why you would sleep with someone who was as fragile and vulnerable as she was when you were perfectly aware of her situation. I think that probably sent a message you did not mean and now she's not only going to be hurt when she loses you she'll be confused and maybe blame herself. I think you should apologize for taking advantage of her when you make the break. To be clear I am not in any way suggesting you should stay with her. I think you're doing the right thing for both of you by ending the relationship.. I just don't think, under the circumstances, you should have muddied the water by sleeping with her.Health Question & Answer