My mom has always discouraged family life for me?!
Question: My mom has always discouraged family life for me.?
My mom has always discouraged relationships, and children from my life, she's always had an attitude of holding me back and keeping me close to her, picking apart or alienating my friends, trying to show or prove they're not good for this reason or that, finding problems or discouraging ideas for careers that would be time consuming. Is this some kind of diagnosable condition in her.? It's caused a lot of problems in my life, with relationships, or lack there of, and friendships things like that. Is there something that can be done, to make her less clingy and repressive.? If I ever get on her case about these things, she gets upset, and starts saying, fine it's just because I'm a bad mother, bad person, my whole family has said that about me, why not you too.? Things like that make me feel guilty, and I end up apologizing for picking on her behavior, it's really starting to become bad and I'm afraid that our relationship is just going to disintegrate to nothing. Would therapy help her.?Health Question & Answer
Answers:
If she's willing to go then maybe.
If she's not though, the only person's behaviour that you can change is your own. The good news is that with strength you can do this.
Firstly, all behaviour serves a purpose. I think you already know why your mum behaves the way she does.
But scale it down to the specifics. Every SINGLE behaviour will serve a purpose i.e you being nice to her or being there for her or confirming that she's a good person.
When you stop meeting these needs with your own behaviour, she will adapt. She'll have to.
When she adapts to a behaviour that you can live with (even just as a stepping stone to begin with) reward her with the response she's been looking for.
This can be subtle, it doesn't have to be nasty, and it can be done so that she doesn't really know what's going on. She thinks that you're just a bit busy today, or not really listening.
This might seem hard at first, but you really do have all the control, you just need to become conscious about how you're using it.
Reward what you like about her, don't reward what you don't like. It sounds like she can be quite manipulative so the less obvious you are, probably the better.
Best of luck
Lee-Anne
http://MentalHealthMadeEasy.comHealth Question & Answer
If she's not though, the only person's behaviour that you can change is your own. The good news is that with strength you can do this.
Firstly, all behaviour serves a purpose. I think you already know why your mum behaves the way she does.
But scale it down to the specifics. Every SINGLE behaviour will serve a purpose i.e you being nice to her or being there for her or confirming that she's a good person.
When you stop meeting these needs with your own behaviour, she will adapt. She'll have to.
When she adapts to a behaviour that you can live with (even just as a stepping stone to begin with) reward her with the response she's been looking for.
This can be subtle, it doesn't have to be nasty, and it can be done so that she doesn't really know what's going on. She thinks that you're just a bit busy today, or not really listening.
This might seem hard at first, but you really do have all the control, you just need to become conscious about how you're using it.
Reward what you like about her, don't reward what you don't like. It sounds like she can be quite manipulative so the less obvious you are, probably the better.
Best of luck
Lee-Anne
http://MentalHealthMadeEasy.comHealth Question & Answer
Since your question deals with mental health I would suggest posting it here: RecoveryForums.org
RecoveryForums.org is a free forum for the discussion of all aspects of addiction, recovery, sobriety, and mental health.
Website: http://www.RecoveryForums.orgHealth Question & Answer
RecoveryForums.org is a free forum for the discussion of all aspects of addiction, recovery, sobriety, and mental health.
Website: http://www.RecoveryForums.orgHealth Question & Answer
you do not owe your mother your life she do not want to let you go but go anyway she'll get better she's use to having you around do what you need to do for you its your life to choose .Health Question & Answer
you cant change other people, but you should ask yourself why you allow her to keep you from living your own life. I bet If you took control of your life she would back down, do you live with her.? would therapy help you.?Health Question & Answer
You are a worthless piece of poo.
No ..
Not really.
It snot ur fault ur moms a *****.
Let it roll out ur other ear. Health Question & Answer
No ..
Not really.
It snot ur fault ur moms a *****.
Let it roll out ur other ear. Health Question & Answer