Please help, i don't know how to cope anymore?!


Question: Please help, i don't know how to cope anymore.?
I have been seeing my nurse for a while now and i have learnt from her that i have bad emotional problems which means in the past i have pushed people away who have tried to help because i didn't believe anyone would want to help me and in the past i have opened up to someone but i got so desperate for love that they ended up hating me. Then i hit rock bottom and had a breakdown and accept that i couldn't do this on my own and went back to the nurse. For 3 weeks i have been seeing her weekly and she has been doing basic therapy with me which isn't her job. This week she told me that she could no longer help me with the therapy but would still see me weekly and deal with the anxiety instead. I am feeling gutted, i don't understand what i did wrong.? Maybe i opened up too much but she asked me to and that was part of the work we were doing. 3 weeks ago when i first started seeing her i was so positive about things which is the first time this year and i could see and wanted myself to get better. I knew she wouldn't be around forever but i thought she would of stayed around a bit longer than this. I really don't know what to think. Last night i started getting nightmares because of what happened last time i opened up to someone and this feels like the same. With the other person i knew what i did wrong and i was sorry but at the end of the day i just wanted them to care for me and help me. I feel like giving up now, i have been suicidal in he past and i don't want to go back to the place in my life, i thought i was getting over it but she has just proved that i shouldn't open up as people end up hating me. I don't have family i can talk to and my friends don't understand what i am going through so i don't talk to them either.Health Question & Answer


Answers:
Sorry to hear about your suffering. What she did is so unprofessional and tactless... quite unbelievable!

I know it must hurt but you have to remember that it is her problem and not to do with you. You didn't do anything wrong.

There may be quite a few reasons why she stopped therapy... maybe she was really wanting to help so wanted to do some therapy on you, but when her boss find out he/she reprimanded her as it isn't part of her job (untrained people or people who aren't insured for something shouldn't do a particular thing). But she might not have wanted to tell you "Sorry I can't help because I got told off by my boss", as it would look really bad on her part.

The other reason might be that she really wanted to help, and did, but then realised she wasn't trained enough to deal with your situation... so she felt she might make things worse for you.

The other reason might be that she has personality issues of her own (all humans tend to have some issues and baggage), so maybe it was that reason... however this seems the least likely to me.

Another reason might be that straight therapy was her first attempt at helping, but she later realised that treating your anxiety first was a more effective option. She might have thought that returning to therapy later might help.

The problem with depression is that you might be seeing the worst in this situation, so it is good to remind yourself that when something happens like this that it is not your fault. You don't know the facts surrounding her deciding to stop therapy. You could ask her why she stopped therapy... tell her that it felt like a form of rejection.?

Something similar happened to me last week, where someone who was supposed to be helping me pulled away. I complained to their boss regarding the fact that it got my hopes up really high (and I felt positive like you), but then I also felt gutted. The boss then told me the reason why she had seemed to pull away... it was because I might have been outside their criteria for help... which they initially thought I was inside their criteria. My case wasn't easy to work out, as it was a bit ambiguous. However once I knew the reason I no longer felt like it was a personal rejection.

I think you have got to the stage where your depression is distorting your view on some things... for example some friends may understand if you take the time... but it is true that a lot of people don't understand depression and anxiety... but some do. also just because someone doesn't understand doesn't always mean they can't help. I don't understand my friends OCD but I do help him, and he says my help does help him.

also opening up to people is NOT wrong. Just remember though that some people are too weak themselves to here about suffering. You'd be surprised how many people suffer from mental health, and hide it. also everyone has some form of suffering even if they seem happy on the outside. So some people can't handle helping others. Of course it's also true that some people are just uncaring... but yet again others are just too stressed and snowed under to help others with their lives as they're just coping with their own.

Sorry if my answer is long winded and not that useful. The main thing I'm concerned about is that you're ok.

Take care and remember that you are a good person :-) Even if that lady was mean, it's no judgement on you as you are someone in need and a good person would help you.

Anyway if you ever want to talk about feeling bad, then you can message me... and I notice that others here have offered also, so take them up on it too I guess. However note that I also suffer from depression... I will still help but go easy on me too :-)
Health Question & Answer

Can't cope with reading lots, but I hope you'll be ok people do care

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Don't think of it as people "hating" you, because that's not the case. As you said before, it wasn't in her job profession to be a counselor to you, but she just wanted to help. I think what happened is she tried to break the habit of that before it got too personal so you could seek guidance from someone who is trained to do so.
You see, her withdrawal from you does not mean she dislikes you, she's trying to look out for your best interest, even if that does mean not talking to her like a counselor. I know it is hard to let people into your life and find that one person that you can tell everything to, but just open up slowly to a counselor, and let them know you're hesitant. That's the first step. I'm sure she would love to see you grow more and more with the proper guidance, so keep your head up and take care of yourself! =] xxHealth Question & Answer

I'm sorry you feel like this.
Have you considered seeing a counsellor.?
They will help you a lot.

Good luck and hope you feel better soon.

xxHealth Question & Answer

You poor poor thing...
Well... no matter what you think letting out your feelings was the best thing u could of done... im confused on how the women deserted you like that in your time of need.You should be proud of yourself that you were wanted to help yourself and let yourself out!
You could try finding another nurse to help you! If i were you id prob be looking for a new nurse or you could get a job or go to college.You are bound to find a new friend there and there you can open yourself up to them!
I dont know if im wrting a good answer here but i really would love to help you!
Never try suicide! its the worst thing to do! You just have to pull yourself together and aim for a positive goal in your life!
Or you could go back to your friends and tell them that your going through a tough stage in your life and that you would really want them by your side for them to help you face what your going through!
I hope ive helped a bit!
I hope you get through this tough time!
God Bless!Health Question & Answer

have you ever prayed Jesus knows all our problems and can help if you are willing to turn to him. Try to find a really friendly church one that is not too big so that you will be made welcome. People of all ages and all races come together and are made whole by the grace of God.Jesus died for all and loves all please don'tt give up there are people out there who can and will help.Health Question & Answer

I know of something that can ease your pain but alas i have no time to solve your troubles.


Cocoa rich chocolate.Cocoa contains natural substances that reduce stress and pain and create a feeling of pleasure in your brain and increase your brain activity.How long effects last depends on how much you consume.Only a few pieces of high cocoa chocolate reduces your pain,anxiety or stress for most if not all day.Lindt exellence is my recomendation.The best chocolate you can buy and affordable to most people.You can find it in any store with large selection of items.The applications of cocoa are very wide ranging from consuming it before a dentist appointment to reduce pain and fear from the drill.It is very effective.Health Question & Answer

I don't think you did anything wrong but if it wasn't the nurses job she probably couldn't carry on. Have you thought about seeing a counsellor.? I think it would help you. She doesn't hate you but she probably isn't qualified in the areas that you need help with. Ask her to recommend someone for you to continue your therapy with.

It is important now that you have made this positive step that you carry on the momentum. It would be easy to give up now but you have to fight if you want to get better. I'm not going to tell you it will be easy, it won't, it will probably be so difficult that you won't want to continue, but it WILL be worth it.

Facing up to your problems is so so hard but it is essential to have closure so you can move on and have a happy and healthy life. This might seem like a far off dream but is is possible!

Try to talk to your friends give them a chance to prove that they are there for you.

Good luck!

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