How can an adult deal with bullying?!


Question: How can an adult deal with bullying.?
It's not like I can run to the teacher, principal or a parent. There is this bad piece of work girl who is making my life miserable. We were friends for a while, but she was using me to keep paying for her tab, if we went shopping she'd be sneaky and get me to pay for her purchases, same with dinners and then the last straw was an expensive trip so I put an end to the relationship. She has since spread rumors about me and is intimidating for me to be around to the point I have stopped going to church because she goes there too and is popular with lots of friends who are all now mean to me. I went last week and left right after service without staying for the lunch and talking to other members because of the discomfort she makes me feel and I don't want to switch congregations - the other one is very far with a small older crowd I don't feel as joyous going to. I don't go anywhere where I think she will be at and that is making me miserable because we live in a small town and it has cut off my social life. Please help with any advice. I am hurting a lot. Like one of the last times I went to church her and her friends sat in the row right behind me and were saying a lot of rude things about me but I didn't respond because we're not on talking terms and I was very outnumbered. Everyone seems to like her which makes things so much more harder and painful and difficult.Health Question & Answer


Answers:
Your inability to deal more straightforwardly with this witch may be because you don't know how to keep up personal boundaries with pushy people.

There is a difference between being belligerant and standing up for your rights. Take a time out and go to the other Church for a while or invite individual people for coffee or shopping. Meanwhile check out this idea call assertiveness. It has to do with believing that what you feel is real and is OK. Bullies try to control you by saying that your feelings don't matter or are odd.

Be above her. Make friends with individuals, not groups. Guard your personal space. Act offended when someone acts too close to you.

Their is nothing to do about people telling lies about you. Find friends who are loyal; value you it. Think nothing of these people. They are evil and wrong to hurt a good person like you.Health Question & Answer

Suck it up.
Either that, or beat her.
Decisions, decisions.Health Question & Answer

Since you are a person of Faith, I would pray about it. There are lots of strengthening passages in the Bible. God never puts more on a person than they can handle. As long as you are doing the right thing, hold your head high. In the long run, everyone will know that this person is trying to stir up trouble. Jesus is my joy and no one will ever take that away from me. He preached about this type of thing. Go to the Word and you will find your strength. You can move to another part of the church and you will look like the wiser person. If she moves to continue to harass you, she will look like a bitter, evil person. Always remove yourself from the dangerous/slanderous situation. Go sit on the front row if you have to. Just don't let her think she can take your Joy from you. Health Question & Answer

My cousin (whos 23) was in the same position as you! If you are strong, go to the church or wherever you want to go, and if she is bullying you, just think: at least im not a immature bully like her. If you're not that brave, talk to family if you can. Or just go and face her. If it gets to the point where its too bad. call the semaritans and talk to them. Im not sure of there number, but it might tell you on google if you look it up. Good luck and i really hope things will turn out cool for you!Health Question & Answer

Well, first of all, if you are actually being harassed in church, that is something you need to bring up with the pastor or church elders. If you like going to church, focus your attention on the purpose--worshiping God, and ignore the people who go there for other reasons. Just simply stay away from this person. Don't answer her calls, don't respond to her when she says something to your face, don't allow her to get to you in any way. Act as though she doesn't exist. People like this can't hurt you if you don't give them attention.Health Question & Answer



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