To speak or not to speak????!
Question: To speak or not to speak.?.?.?.?
ok so i once loved this guy Matt. like i would do anything for him if he wanted it. and sometimes if i refused to bend backwards for him he would force me to. but he was everything to me, my first love. then he decided he was done and broke it off. over the phone none the less. he said i was too happy, i didn't show enough emotion for him, and he was already seeing another girl. he actually called and said "hey, i like this other girl is that ok.?" and me being the dumb *** i am let him dump me like a bag of dirt. i went to pieces afterwords, guess he fixed the happiness thing. i couldn't eat i couldn't sleep. i was constantly shaking at school (we went to school together) i was a wreck. i shut out all my emotions so no one would see how truly sad i was.
he had this friend Felix who's an amazing person he told about how Matt actually cheated on me and got head from the girl he left me for while he was dating me. i was beside myself to say the least. i eventually ended up confronting him about it. (i had avoided him before, not even being able to look up whenever he passed by) his excuses was "because I'm a guy" and once again i took that as an answer. we had a big big big conversation after and too bad i still loved him so much or it would have been easier to say no but i (the stupid one) agreed to be on a friend basis with him. later he confessed that he still loved me and wanted to be with me again even though he had another girlfriend at the time. he wanted to meet up with me so we could hook up (booty call) lol. i said no even though in my heart i really really wanted to be with him again just to be in his arms again would be the best thing ever. to kiss him would melt my heart in its cage i wanted to so so badly it almost hurt. but i stood by my decision and the answer was a no. he got over it quickly and our friendship died just as fast. i found someone new too and the love i have for my new love makes what me and Matt had look like a match next to the Olympic flame. but alas i still love Matt. in a obscure way he was my first everything so of course he was special and he said i was his first too, but i doubt that.
and now my new love is out of school and I'm stuck with Matt giving me perihelia glances from fox's eyes.
so I'm friends with Matt's two best friends and they asked why me and Matt's relationship ended so abruptly. i told them of the cheating and such and they (wanting to stick up for me) confronted Matt about it. "because I'm a guy" wasn't doing it for them. they broke Matt down till he confessed that it was because he had gotten bored of me and wanted something to spark his interest.
now i've been trying to avoid Matt for a while, anytime he gets close to me i shake uncontrollably too and my heart goes crazy like I'm drowning it physically hurts. it's terrible. but part of me wants him to notice me so i know he remembers me and i wasn't just another notch in his bed post. but I'm just being silly i doubt he even remembers my name he's had so many since me. I'm being conceited to think he even cares that i still take breath. i don't know i just like making him see me. it's weird.
but back to the original topic so my/his friends confronted him and yadda yadda so now he's gonna try to reconcile with me and tell me the whole truth and such and half of me really want to talk to him, to hear it all. but then another half is saying why do you need to know you have Eric (new lover) now why do you need to know about the past. so I've been avoiding him until i can decide. i went to my friends for advice and they all say to just keep avoiding him. but the more i avoid him the more i want to talk to him. taste the forbidden fruit i guess you could say. Eric hate Matt with every fiber of his being so of course he doesn't want me talking to him. what do you guy think would be best.?Health Question & Answer
he had this friend Felix who's an amazing person he told about how Matt actually cheated on me and got head from the girl he left me for while he was dating me. i was beside myself to say the least. i eventually ended up confronting him about it. (i had avoided him before, not even being able to look up whenever he passed by) his excuses was "because I'm a guy" and once again i took that as an answer. we had a big big big conversation after and too bad i still loved him so much or it would have been easier to say no but i (the stupid one) agreed to be on a friend basis with him. later he confessed that he still loved me and wanted to be with me again even though he had another girlfriend at the time. he wanted to meet up with me so we could hook up (booty call) lol. i said no even though in my heart i really really wanted to be with him again just to be in his arms again would be the best thing ever. to kiss him would melt my heart in its cage i wanted to so so badly it almost hurt. but i stood by my decision and the answer was a no. he got over it quickly and our friendship died just as fast. i found someone new too and the love i have for my new love makes what me and Matt had look like a match next to the Olympic flame. but alas i still love Matt. in a obscure way he was my first everything so of course he was special and he said i was his first too, but i doubt that.
and now my new love is out of school and I'm stuck with Matt giving me perihelia glances from fox's eyes.
so I'm friends with Matt's two best friends and they asked why me and Matt's relationship ended so abruptly. i told them of the cheating and such and they (wanting to stick up for me) confronted Matt about it. "because I'm a guy" wasn't doing it for them. they broke Matt down till he confessed that it was because he had gotten bored of me and wanted something to spark his interest.
now i've been trying to avoid Matt for a while, anytime he gets close to me i shake uncontrollably too and my heart goes crazy like I'm drowning it physically hurts. it's terrible. but part of me wants him to notice me so i know he remembers me and i wasn't just another notch in his bed post. but I'm just being silly i doubt he even remembers my name he's had so many since me. I'm being conceited to think he even cares that i still take breath. i don't know i just like making him see me. it's weird.
but back to the original topic so my/his friends confronted him and yadda yadda so now he's gonna try to reconcile with me and tell me the whole truth and such and half of me really want to talk to him, to hear it all. but then another half is saying why do you need to know you have Eric (new lover) now why do you need to know about the past. so I've been avoiding him until i can decide. i went to my friends for advice and they all say to just keep avoiding him. but the more i avoid him the more i want to talk to him. taste the forbidden fruit i guess you could say. Eric hate Matt with every fiber of his being so of course he doesn't want me talking to him. what do you guy think would be best.?Health Question & Answer
Answers:
wow. that was a novel!
ok hun, i'm not gonna sugarcoat this for you - but you MUST forget about Matt. He is nothing but trouble. Seriously, he's a JERK!!! Just reread what you wrote up there, and try to perceive it from an outsider's point of view. Let's count all the strikes against him, shall we.?
1. He cheated on you emotionally (flirted with another girl)
2. He cheated on you physically (with the head and stuff)
3. He said that you were "boring" - what a jerk! seriously.
4. He wasn't courageous enough in the first place to tell you straight up why he left you. All he can come up with is the lame excuse that he thinks you're "too happy". How juvenile...
There's lots more but I don't want to waste my time (and yours) restating all his deeds . What he did was despicable, true, but you need to show him that you're over him. As long as he can still tell that you still have feelings for him, he knows he'll always have the upperhand cuz he can control your heart. You need to break away from him completely - he sounds selfish, rude, arrogant, and even abusive. And I agree with Eric completely.
It's good that you're with Eric now. It shows that you're already moving on. Just walk the rest of the long road and eventually Matt will be nothing more to you. Break off all ties with Matt. In one sentence - the dude's just playing you. You can definitely find someone much better, much more worth your time.
Anyway I hope this has helped you....and I wish you all the luck!
haha i think I wrote a novel too =)Health Question & Answer
ok hun, i'm not gonna sugarcoat this for you - but you MUST forget about Matt. He is nothing but trouble. Seriously, he's a JERK!!! Just reread what you wrote up there, and try to perceive it from an outsider's point of view. Let's count all the strikes against him, shall we.?
1. He cheated on you emotionally (flirted with another girl)
2. He cheated on you physically (with the head and stuff)
3. He said that you were "boring" - what a jerk! seriously.
4. He wasn't courageous enough in the first place to tell you straight up why he left you. All he can come up with is the lame excuse that he thinks you're "too happy". How juvenile...
There's lots more but I don't want to waste my time (and yours) restating all his deeds . What he did was despicable, true, but you need to show him that you're over him. As long as he can still tell that you still have feelings for him, he knows he'll always have the upperhand cuz he can control your heart. You need to break away from him completely - he sounds selfish, rude, arrogant, and even abusive. And I agree with Eric completely.
It's good that you're with Eric now. It shows that you're already moving on. Just walk the rest of the long road and eventually Matt will be nothing more to you. Break off all ties with Matt. In one sentence - the dude's just playing you. You can definitely find someone much better, much more worth your time.
Anyway I hope this has helped you....and I wish you all the luck!
haha i think I wrote a novel too =)Health Question & Answer
so, are you gay.?..i didnt read your rediculously long explination so i have no idea of the conflict. you should eat some delicious crab meat to take your mind off it.Health Question & Answer
don't talk to matt. you have eric now :-)Health Question & Answer