I can't stop crying. What can I do?!


Question: I can't stop crying. What can I do.?
My mother just left on a Carribean cruise for 9 days. I am 27 but I live with her & it has been a long time since we've been apart that long. If my life wasn't so messed up & if I didn't suffer from BPD (Borderline) it wouldn't be so bad. She just left 10 minutes or less ago &I can barely type out this question or plea for help. I can't call local crisis lines b/c they're NOT helpful at all. I miss my mother already. She deserves this cruise no doubt. Lastly I worry about things like the ship being attacked by pirates, storms in the Carribean, or some1 putting something in my mom's drink. I take medication but it only does so much for me.

*Don't ask why I had to move in with my mom @ 27 & believe me I plan to get my own house (again) asap!*Health Question & Answer


Answers:
You live in Houston. That's why. But really, figure out what's making you cry. Maybe you're just lonely and depressed. Or maybe you're just used to being around your mother. Maybe you should find something to keep you occupied. Health Question & Answer

Just Relax. Everything is going to be OK. I understand that you miss your mom but like you said she deserves the trip. If are afraid of something bad happening, just call her and see if everything is going as planned. If your mom knows how you are than she won't mind if you keep calling her from time to time. But for now, try doing something that will take your mind off of the situation. Like, watching a funny chris tucker movie, and eating some strawberry ice cream. Good Luck.Health Question & Answer

1 i don't think pirats exsist anymore and when i was young i went to camp for a week and i missed my mom too and my mom missed me but u know what after camp i realzied what a fun time i had and i'm sure she is having a fun time to so try to stop crying.Health Question & Answer

i was like this a few weeks ago. i have been going through so much lately. i took off a week from work and just had to drain out my self. your mom will be happy but what you have to do is not have to have her worry about you. let her know your going to be fine. i hope you feel better soon. take careHealth Question & Answer

Just take a deep breath. Take a walk or watch something funny on TV. Do something to get your mind off it. Do something for yourself. Go shopping go out to eat with a friend. Just do something else to get your mind off of it.

Good luck.
Health Question & Answer

try going out with someof ur friends and get urself busy with other thingsHealth Question & Answer

last week something upset me and any little thing could set me off.

I have some tips to stop crying:
1. run your tongue along the top of your mouth
2. do math problems (easy ones) in head. It works your left brain, while emotions are formed in the right
3. deep breathing- it really helps!
4. invite a friend to talk to
5. invite a friend to cheer you up. tell them you need a hug! Feeling the heartbeat of another human is soothing
6. bite your tongue/pinch yourself as a distraction (not super hard)
7. roll/cross your eyes to top tears
8. write down what's bothering you (i guess you just did) but also how it makes you feel, getting it all out will help calm you
9. watch tv, read a book, cook something, find some distraction
10. make a list of the good things in this situation. you said she deserves it, and it will help you grow. anything else.?

to make yourself feel better I suggest a bubble bath and ice cream! whatever cheers you up, do it to get your mind off this. you have the whole house to yourself! talking to someone seriously helps

whatever you do: don't call your mom. she just left and it will just make you more upset if you call now. wait a day or two until your both use to it.Health Question & Answer

BPD is the most difficult to treat mental illness because it is a character and enviormental based illness not a brain or chemical based illness. That is there is a certain amount of choice in the person to behave the way the they do. I am sure that none of what you are going through is new to you. BPD's have very intense enmeshed relationships but the reality is no one can meet your expectations and you are abandoned and your relationships fail.

You need to continue to take your medications and try to convince yourself that your fears are irrational. If you have a counselor or therapist, make an appointment. Try not to escalate to the use of crisis line or center (that should be a short term goal) You also need to find something to do in your spare time, some sort of physical activity. Until then use the coping mechanisms you have. Most BPD's grow out the disorder around the age of 40. Health Question & Answer

If you already have a therapist you should consider contacting them. You allude to your life being "messed up" and suffering from borderline, I assume you mean Bipolar Disorder.? If you are bipolar and the medication is not controlling the problem then the dosage probably needs adjustment which makes it imperative to contact your doctor or therapist soon.
Let's turn logically to your fears: 1) Pirates of the Caribbean... great movie but not a realistic problem. Most modern day pirates are located off the coast of Africa and the Caribbean is patrolled by the U.S. Coast Guard from the air, sea, and by satellite. The state of Florida has numerous USCG Cutters, helicopters and C-130 aircraft that make pirates a non issue. Here are a list of USCG Air Stations that monitor that area: Seventh District
CGAS Clearwater, Florida
CGAS Miami, Florida
CGAS Savannah, Georgia
CGAS Borinquen, Aguadilla, Puerto Rico In the Seventh District their are 18 USCG stations from Charleston, SC southward that cover the Atlantic and Caribbean. So she is safe there.
Storms- I have lived in Florida (Tampa Bay) for 25+ years and we are at the end of hurricane season. The water temps are dropping which removes the fuel for any storms. Our hurricane busy season passed a couple of weeks ago. The crews onboard ships keep an eye out for their passengers and I don't think your Mom is naive so give her more credit than getting drugged by some devious character.
You really need to contact a friend or your therapist/primary care doctor as your thoughts are spinning out of control. Do you have any siblings or relatives you could stay with until Mom returns.? As to moving out of Mom's personally it does not sound as if that would be in your best interest until your medication gets your problems to a more manageable level. You will be fine. Mom will be fine. Call someone soon and discuss it with them as you need help from someone who knows your history and can give you advice to help you get grounded again. I know these fears are real to you but they seem extreme to an outsider like me. I wish you the best and can only try to reassure you that your fears are unfounded and no harm is going to come to your Mom on a cruise ship with many people with whom she will probably make several friends and is fine for the 9 days. Get someone on the phone right away as you just need contact with someone familiar to reassure you that all is going to be well.
Health Question & Answer

call ur mom, tell her that u are worried about her but dont let her come home. let her enjoy it. when she gets back u will be all the more grateful. call some friends and go out to get ur mind off of it. think of how much fun she will have. im sure she will be fine. start something that will take ur mind off of it. (clean the house, make cookies, take a shower, watch tv, go on a walk, go out with friends, go to a movie, rake the yard, shop online) etc. good luck.Health Question & Answer

I'm sorry that you're going through so much. Andi cant give you a prefect answer. I can tell you however that there's a low risk of anything happening on the cruise that could go wrong. I understand missing your mom. mine just left about an hour ago for the week and i miss her too. Just try doing something else. read a book, or call a friend. Don't think about the bad things that could happen, try to think about how much fun shes going to have. Health Question & Answer

Don't worry ! It's only 9 days. You're 27, you can handle that. Take a deep breath, put some music on, have a bubble bath or something.. read something funny, whatever. Sounds like you are way too focused on your own high anxiety.

edit: distract yourself! it's the best way to deal with anxiety :) go out with your boyfriend and small circle as much as you can. nothing will happen to your mom, I'm sure she will be more than fine, besides it was her decision to go, wasn't it.? you can't spend your life in fear. try to enjoy these 9 days :)Health Question & Answer

call your mom, she's going to be okay. just keep telling yourself that. nothing bad is going to happen and you are going to be alright. deep breaths.Health Question & Answer

Tips to Deal With Anxiety and Worry
Everyone worries at some time or another. It becomes a real problem when it encompasses your very existence. When all you can think about is the next bad thing that is going to happen. Your nerves are constantly on edge, you are always tired, emotionally and physically drained, and very irritable. Getting up and going in the morning seems like trying to scale Mt.Everest. There are natural ways that can help you break the ties of constant worry and anxiety.

1. You must learn that there is no way to predict everything that is gonna happen. The world is an uncertain place on the best days. On the worst, it is total chaos. When you worry, it makes you feel safer. You think that it will prepare you for all the bad things that will happen. The truth is, all you are doing is making the situation much worse, and not enjoying any of the good times in life, for fear of the bad ones. You have to change your way of thinking. Instead of worrying about what might happen, ask yourself how likely it is that something good can happen. There is just as much likelihood of a good or neutral outcome. The more positive you are, the more positive things will be drawn to you.

2. Learn how to give worry it's own time period in your life- There is no way to banish worry from your life completely. There is a way however to make it's toll on your time more manageable. Take an hour out of each day as your worry time. This is the time that you are free to think, and to think about worrying. The rest of the day is off limits. Try to make this time well before bedtime, as not to let worry intrude on your sleep. If you have a worrisome thought during the day, write it down for your time to worry. Don't spend anymore time on it than that. Worrying only during your worry period will give you greater control over your life.

3. Stop your negative thoughts in their tracks- If you suffer from constant worry and anxiety, your attitude is probably very pessimistic. You may feel as if you couldn't handle life if something bad were to happen. You probably jump to worst-case scenarios all the time, and think that you are a magnet to tragedy. These irrational, negative thoughts are called cognitive distortions. Although they are not based on reality, they are very hard to stop. It becomes automatic thinking that you must retrain your brain in order to squash it. You must learn to examine and challenge your worries and fears. Instead of thinking of them as facts, view them as theories you are testing out.

4. Ask yourself some questions that address the worry you feel-

1. What proof do I have that the thought I have is true.? That it is untrue.?

2. Is this thought helpful.? Could this thought potentially hurt me.?

3.What are the chances that what I am afraid will happen will in any real likelihood happen.?

4. If the probability of it happening is low, what might be a more likely outcome.?

5. There are several types of cognitive distortions that lead to anxiety and worry:

1. All -or-nothing attitude - Looking at things in black and white, when quite often there
are many shades of gray.

2. Overpersonalization- Taking blame for things that you have no control over.

3. Jumping to conclusions- Making bad interpretations without any evidence.

4. Diminish the positive- Explaining away positive events as if they don't count.

5. Emotional reasoning- When you believe the way you feel is grounded in reality.

6. Catastrophizing- Always thinking that the worst is gonna happen.

7. Labeling- Telling yourself you are on idiot or a loser based on perceived ideas.

8. Should's and should nots- Holding yourself to an impossible list, and beating
yourself up, when you do not adhere to it.

9. The mental filter- When you forget about all the good things, and only focus on the
bad things that have happened.

10. Overgeneralization- Expecting one negative experience to always remain true.

5. RELAX- The most important thing you have to do is learn to relax. You can try deep breathing and meditation. Take time for yourself, no matter how difficult it may be. Remember to think good thoughts whenever a negative thought rears it's ugly head. This will train your brain to think of things in a more positive light. A good relaxation tip for me is to listen to soothing music without any distractions. Just an hour can work wonders on a tired, emotionally drained body and mind.

It is not easy to change your way of thinking, but it can be done. After a while you will see many new and exciting doors open up. Please remember That You Deserve To Have A Happy Life.Health Question & Answer

Okay so you have a lot of problems. This clearly runs deeper than your mom's cruise. I have a friend with BPD and dependency is not a part of hers but whatever, I guess that's something you have trouble with too.

I know I'm gonna get some thumbs downs for this, but you seriously need to go to a doctor, not yahoo. Here people will only tell you what they would do in this situation etc, etc, but I'm pretty sure this isn't the first time you haven't been able to stop crying.

seriously; see a doctor or a therapist (even a cheap one. At least it's someone REAL to talk to)Health Question & Answer



The consumer health information on youqa.cn is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment for any medical conditions.
The answer content post by the user, if contains the copyright content please contact us, we will immediately remove it.
Copyright © 2007-2012 YouQA.cn -   Terms of Use -   Contact us

Health Q&A Resources