I feel lonely and upset and fear that I have no future?!


Question: I feel lonely and upset and fear that I have no future.?
I just turned 17 about a week ago. On my birthday, I felt really depressed and moody. I dont know why I was feeling that way though. I ended up smashing up my birthday cake. It mightve been because I have NO FRIENDS and noone from my family called to wish me a happy birthday except my grandma. When she called I refused to talk to her.

Well last year I dropped out in 9th grade because of social anxiety. I used to get bullied and teased because of my weight and the clothes I wore all the way through middle school. I failed 6th grade and all through middle school I skipped hundreds of days. I talked to a few counselors and stuff during while I was in middle school and they said it might be "social anxiety" but even then I didnt know what that was. I used to have temper problems and would break and throw stuff when I got mad. But I havent done ANYTHING like that in 3-4 years. Ive learned to control myself.

When I was 8 years old, my dad got sick. He had a heart attack and has CHF. Through the years, hes been in the hospital dozens of times. He also has other health problems too. I've been worried about him for years and years but I never show it. I always hide it and never talk to anyone about it. I always just go to a private space or in my bed at night and pray and cry.

My mom is nuts. She constantly whines to her friends and her mother about how bad she has it and that "I dropped out of school and I act the way I do" because my dad "let me get away with things". Recently I found out she has been going to my aunts house (my dads sister) and blabbing away to her about me. She was telling her things that happened years ago that I did making it sound like it was recent. I havent done anything bad in 4 years except drop out of school. My aunt was the one that brought up the topic about me to my mom and thats when my mom started telling her.

My aunt loves to gossip about people all the time. Everytime she calls and she talks to my dad and talks about her son in the army or her neighbors or the people she works for. Her husband passed away about 2 years ago and I think she has nothing better to do then to gossip about people. She is always telling my parents that "she bakes" and "cleans" to keep her mind busy or she gets bored because she lives by herself. It pisses me off... I dont even want to go over there anymore. We usually go over there to her house for thanksgiving and christmas but I think this time i'll skip it. I hate to say it, but I dont want anything to do with her or my cousins. I found out that she blabbed to my cousin about it too and told her everything that my mom told her. My brother was the one that was there with them at the time with my aunt and my mom. My aunt thinks she knows everything and stuff. She was getting on my brother telling him to treat "my dad right because he isnt going to be here much longer". My mom is going around telling people that my dad isnt doing good and stuff. It makes me upset. She used to cry to her friends and say my dad was mean to her and they would feel sorry for her and in return hate my dads guts. Then she would come out laughing and thought it was funny. Everytime my mom and dad argues she threatens to "call his sister" like its supposed to be funny or something. Like were supposed to be afraid of her. My aunt tries to be all tough acting and stuff. All she does is blab her mouth alot. I remember one time months ago I was arguing with my dad about something or something came up and she says "your aunt knows all about you and how you act" and at first I thought she was threatening me but right along she was gossiping to my aunt about me. Now all my cousins know about me. The stuff isnt even recent. Its stuff thats happened 4-5 years ago!

I'm supposed to get a call from this GED place to hopefully start taking GED classes soon. I feel that I have no future! With all this anxiety I fear i'll be a bum living with mommy until i'm 30 with no job. I havent had a friend since I was 13 years old! Ive been isolated for about 6 years now. All I do is get on the computer all day or walk on my treadmill to lose weight. Sometimes I dont leave my house for weeks. I'm constantly thinking about my future and will I ever get over this shyness/anxiety.

A few weeks ago , I posted a question about social anxiety and put it in my favorites. My mom happened to read it while on my computer and ignored it. Until eventually one day she threw a random remark saying "you dont have anxiety" your just "shy". Then all of a sudden she was reading all the questions I posted but ignored them! She kept going through my computer and looking at stuff that was private. She even deleted my favorites. Then afterwards, thats when she went and told my aunt about that too, the same day she was telling her about things that happened yeras ago. Its like I have no luck! I never explain things to my parents and I only explained my problem on y/a where theres strangers. And the other daHealth Question & Answer


Answers:

go out and make some friends.
Maybe you didn't tell your family members, happy birthday.

Confront your aunt and tell her she can blab all she wants
but you don't give a ****.

Go on and get a GED.

And put a password on your computer, so your mom won't go in
and delete your stuff.
Health Question & Answer

Find a job (go to walmart or some fast food joint)
Save your money
Get a GED
Go to community college
Move out and get an apartment
Stop thinking negative and think positive
Go to nightclubs
Play a sport
Smoke weedHealth Question & Answer

If you would like to lose weight quick I found one hundered tips on how to lose weight quick here..

http://www.justtakealook.info/loseweight...

hope this helps,Health Question & Answer



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