I just can't do it anymore...?!


Question: I just can't do it anymore....?
I am so shy and i hate hate hate it. I wonder why i don't have any friends but then i realize that if i were somebody else, i wouldn't want to be friends with myself. i hate my life, i hate me. i know it is because i am so shy and paranoid. today at dance i had to go up infront of the class and show all the different positions and they all learned it last week and i wasn't there so i didn't know any of them and the teacher was just like "go" and i went up there and everybody was staring at me and i just started crying infront of the whole class. but i have no friends and i just want someone that i can talk to in person. i never talk in class or at school and i just HATE it. i am like scared of people or something like when i am in a group with more than 4 people i freak out. before i have to present or i know i have to talk in front of the whole class, i start sweating and getting really hot and when i get up there my voice is so quiet and shaky. there are no words to explain how much hatred i have towards myself for letting my shyness go this far. i just don't know what to do!!! i hate my life and i want to change so badly i just don't know how, so how do i.?Health Question & Answer


Answers:
Your story made me feel really sad, you don't sound like the sort of person people hate, you sound sweet and kind, but shy and so people don't get to see the real you until they get up close.
It's really normal to be terrified in front of a class full of people, statistically more people are scared of public speaking than they are of death. But i can see how hard it must be for you being shy amongst small groups.
I highly recommend going to see a psychologist who can give you strategies to make you feel more comfortable in groups and social situations. They can also help you feel better about yourself and help you like yourself more which will help you see the reasons why other people like you. Your normal doctor will be able to recommend someone good to see, also in Australia they have mental health plans set up so the government pays for most of it.
If you don't want to do this perhaps try writing a list of all the good things about you. i know this is hard for most people to do, I can write a list of all my bad points in 10 seconds but it takes 10 minutes to think of 1 good thing! but everyone needs to focus on their good points instead of their bad ones all the time. So at the top of your list put that other people see you as sweet and kind (because that's what i said) and then put the other good things down, like are you generous and loving towards your family.? or do you have pretty eyes.? and every night before bed and every morning read through them!
If you want to talk more send me an email, you remind me a lot of myself so i'd like to hear from you. I hope you're feeling better.Health Question & Answer

Sounds like you have a social anxiety disorder. You should seek out a qualified therapist to discuss treatment options. Social anxiety can truly be debilitating, but there are therapies and medications that are extremely helpful. You will probably never be an extrovert, but with some help you can probably gain some control over these anxieties and feel like life is more normal.

Get yourself educated. Do some internet searches on Social Anxiety to learn as much about it as possible.

Good luck! Health Question & Answer

I have the same problem and i want to Switch my life but i can't and neither can you the only thing that makes me smile is think of all the good that.And so what that you are shy just when people want to talk just talk about stuff that you know.People don't like it when people lie (trust me) Health Question & Answer

I'm shy also but I used that to better myself...I'm shy and there is nothing I can do about it...My crush in school is shy but I like her soo much.

My email is Blitzy339@yahoo.com if you ever want to talk.

Don't worry I'm 16 not some 34 year old freak.



Health Question & Answer

I don't know that what you're describing is so much a matter of shyness as much as it's a matter of sadness. You have described a habit of retreating into sadness and isolation. You have done this for a long time and you have not learned to adapt to social situations properly. Once you are put on the spot, you retreat into yourself and you have not learned methods of coping with these social situations.
Socializing is a matter of words and language. You don't seem to have learned that either. You need to do some reading in the pop psychology area to learn some terminology that will allow you to have something to talk about. If you, in and of yourself, are too wrapped up in yourself that you cant' stop freaking out, you need to start with that. You freak out, because you are like an actress that can't remember her lines. You're not so much paranoid, as you have conditioned yourself to withdraw into silence. You have learned to become emotional and to overreact so they won't expect you to talk.
If you want to socialize, you may also have to get help. You have developed a bad habit of being anti-social and you will need to learn why you do that. It may not change over night and it won't change any time too soon, but it can change. What sets you off that you can't socialize.?
If you are overly self-critical, if you have measuring standards that are too high, you will think is is like climbing the Eiffel Tower. You are very dramatic and you are judging yourself. That's a big no-no right there. But if you were to be kinder to yourself, you might be more forgiving if you were to mess up. You'd learn to move along anyway. It's not such a big deal.
Who are you.? What are your interests.? What do you like to do.? Surely there is someone somewhere that likes the same things and you can do something with them. It starts here. Talk about it. Talk with someone and get used to hearing the sound of your own voice. Talk to someone about your inability to carry on a conversation. But talk. It has to start somewhere.
You need knowledge. Knowledge is power. And you need to believe it will work out and it will be all right. Join an internet support group, see a counselor, but start talking. Start a blog and look at your emotions objectively. It not how you feel, it's how you let it dictate how you feel about yourself. Learn to separate the two and let yourself feel something positive. Find something to laugh about.
Sometimes it's just that simple. The first step is the hardest, but after that it gets much easier. You can grow in confidence once you start and you will feel better about yourself. And that's just what you need. Why are you so negative.? Only you can answer that.Health Question & Answer

well sweetie ! awh i feel for you ! you just need to bust out of that shell.and just tell yourself you are bette r than that is hard i know but you have to beleive in yourself! Crying is okay and of course they are gonna stare at you they have eyes lol! So stare back with confidence like an as if who cares attitude..mistakes can be funny we all laugh at ourselves although embarrased ! You can get self help books for social anxiety and research.You are not weird you are not dumb you are normal and i promise you that! it takes time..beleive it or not we all have this disorder not just you ! and the class clown he too has it ! Beleive it please good luck! Health Question & Answer



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