I was diagnosed with severe OCD, anxiety and depression?!


Question: I was diagnosed with severe OCD, anxiety and depression.?
even though the pshyciatrist said that they prefer to treat the symptoms rather than to give a label. However I find that a label gives you more insight into what's going wrong in your mind and your thinking. I've always had little obsessions and compulsions as a child which caused me some level of anxiety but it was when I was 15 when I became consious of my appearance and would constantly try to perfect my hair style and lose weight. It got really bad when I was 17 and had a sexual experience but became obsessed afterwards that I was dirty and infected with germs. This gave me my first nasty taste of depression. I eventually got over it with time but the OCD got worse. After I passed my driving test I would constantly check routes I'd taken to see if I'd had an accident. Then when I was 19 and had my first proper relationship I started getting intrusive thoughts about stabbing my partner. I also started to get other evil intrusive thoughts such as when I would be talking to a female work colleage I would have an urge to rape them. I battled against thoughts/urges to shout obsenities out or do inappropriate things in front of people. I also had intrusive thoughts about saying sinnful things about god out load. After seeing the Amytiville Horror I could't sleep at night as I feared I would kill my whole family. Then the evil thoughts turned into health anxieties. I would that I might be able to give myself a headache just by thinking about it or stop my heart which was really scary. Then when I was 20 I think my mind bored of these constant repetitive thoughts and changed to obsessing over what had happended 3 years earlier when I was 17 and had a sexual experience. I again felt dirty and repulsed inside and became dysfunctional for 5 months. I kept ruminating that I should have said no and not allowed anything to happen. I recovered and went to university at 21 which I managed pretty well (got could results on first year). Eventually my mind started playing horrible scenaries such as what would it be like to burn alive/buried alive/suffocate/be skinned alive and anything which would be torture. This however didn't effect my studies. In the summer of 2007 whilst working I thought I had calmed my mind down. But it started up again. I had a trip planned and thought how horrible it would be to die before that trip could take place.I would worry that I could make my heart stop beating by thinking about it. After the trip which was where the family had lived in the past (had a good time) I felt depressed at all the changes. I then started thinking about my childhood and how this sexual experience had made a barrier between that. I fell into depression which then went back into obsessing/ruminating over the sexual experience and how dirty I felt (this was now over 4 years ago). I became totally dysfunctional, tried twice to return for my second year of uni but couldn't concentrate, was suicidal, suffered extreme anxiety, panic attacks, severe depression and all I could do was lay in bed and cry. I suspended my studies to recover. I came out of the obsessing/ruminating several times throughout the next year. I was tried on various psychiatric medications which I wish I hadn't done as some side effects were horrendous. There's been little or no help in mental health and they have wasted my time tremendously. My recovery has been off and on with several suicide attempts and couldn't go back to uni again 2008/2009) because of this. My obsessions and ruminating have changed so that I ruminate over my decision last year to suspend which I truly regret. I feel very depressed and stupid that I let this illness take me over. I feel like a failure but I know I can do the course. Have to wait for 2009/2010. In mean time this year have taken up an art and design course and looking for job shadowing in the field of my course or perhaps get a small job. Has anyone got any words of advice on how to forget about making the wrong decison about university and how to stop ruminating about it.? Thanks very much for any well needed advice, Phil.Health Question & Answer


Answers:
It seems to me like this diagnosis has really become he root of your entire life. A similar experience happened to me too. But the first thing I had to do, and what I would strongly recommend to you too, is that you need to reject the spirit/mindset of illness. It may be very difficult because the sickness may be very real to you as it was to me, but I had learn that as long as i dwelled on the thought that I was sick, I would stay sick. And as long as i kept worrying about how the sickness would affect my life, the more it did. It was once I rejected the spirit of disease. The doctors my say that you have OCD and are legally depressed, but you need to completely denounce that and know that nature didn't create any victims, and that there is no report, and no sickness that can hold you back. Once you remove that mindset then your decision about university will become clear and you will not be in fear of what you may do. I promise.

PS. I would recommend listening to him http://www.joelosteen.com/Pages/Index.as... he is very inspiring and will definitely help you get your life together. Thats what stopped me from going nuts. Health Question & Answer

i would suggest you take a CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) course or at least look into it.
i have had CbT and it really helps.
HONESTLY
also if you have been diagnosed then your uni can/should offer LOADS of support financially and emotionally
take careHealth Question & Answer

I am aint reading your life story!

If you want to wallow in your obsessions ok but you don't have to live that way....as humans we do something because we receive benefits out of our actions - what benefits are you getting from your obsessive nehaviours.?

If they aint genuine benefits - accept the truth and stop doing it. In my opinion and you did ask for it, is you are wallowing in self pity and are looking for escuses to label yourself with this or that disorder to give you attention and a perfect exscuse to get out of whatever takes your fancy.Health Question & Answer



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