My life is hell and its heading no where?!
Question: My life is hell and its heading no where.?
If I had to explain what exactly happened once I came to America in 2003, that would take me about 5 paragraphs so I'll just give you the main points.
-illegal here (we overstayed, no idea why my idiotic parents didnt extend the vista) We used to live in Czech Republic, Europe.
-family is screwed up (my mom has been sitting around not working because her and my dad "didnt talk enough" so my dad has been paying everythin by himself and thats really where things started to get real bad, luckily tho our brother helps us out (he & my dad hate my mom but my brother hates her more than my dad) he and his wife are always having problems so he lives with us now
-Mom lives in the garage (yeah basically 1 day in the summer, my family had a huge fight, my mom didnt want me to go to register for high school because as she always says "we are going home" That phrase makes me throw up now, she has been saying that for the past 4 years. She never does anything, she just sits around. Idk where the hell her life is headed. She sleeps in the apartment but spends most of her day away from the apartment
-I'm a fat, quiet kid...I work out now every week but I have such low self-esteem. I am not outgoing. I just go to school, do my work and come home. Nothing ever exciting happens in my life.
-I have an accent...Been her what 6 years now and still have an accent..Great
-1 bedroom apartment 4 people (my mom does sleep here so I guess she counts too
-Barely any money ... my dad and my brother barely manage to pay the rent and get food and stuff
But yeah, theres not much I can do. I'm basically dead. I am smart. I do good in school. But I am here illegally. Idk what my dad wants. Idk what my brother wants. I dont know anything. Idk what the hell Im gonna do when I'm 18. Probably suicide cuz my life is headed nowhere. Hey you know people always say "Have a positive attitude and smile on your face" Theres not much I can smile about since my life is hell. Nothing ever exciting happens. When my friends ask me to go out, I just say no. Ah they dont ask me anyway. My mom ruined my life. She stopped working. I even remember that day. She just stopped working with my dad. Ever since then, my life = hell. People say every person goes thru a rough time in their life. This has been going on for 4-5 years. I dont know if I can take it much anymore especially since I am in high school now. I won't do any drugs or alcohol. You can trust me on that. If I had legal papers, you dont know how happy I'd be. I'd just keep doing good in school. And then once I'm 18 I would just go and have my own life. But unfortunately, I can't do that. And my life is headed nowhere. I just cant take this anymore. I cant even look at my mom. She disgusts me so much, I have to throw up everytime I see her. Everyday she comes hope like at 8 pm or 9 pm. Lays down, and then in the morning she goes somewhere and comes back and etc. Don't say I need to talk to her. I have tried countless times for her to get back to work. She just won't. She wants to go back to my country. She doznt have any money. She doesnt want to leave me here. She just SITS around. I am disgusted. She just wont listen to me. There isnt anything I can do. I am helpless. My life is going to end up very bad. I just know it. It doznt mean that much that I am smart. I dont know what I did to deserve this. I always do the right thing. I am always mature. I have never done anything bad and never have hurt anybody. I don't know why I was meant for this life.
Health Question & Answer
-illegal here (we overstayed, no idea why my idiotic parents didnt extend the vista) We used to live in Czech Republic, Europe.
-family is screwed up (my mom has been sitting around not working because her and my dad "didnt talk enough" so my dad has been paying everythin by himself and thats really where things started to get real bad, luckily tho our brother helps us out (he & my dad hate my mom but my brother hates her more than my dad) he and his wife are always having problems so he lives with us now
-Mom lives in the garage (yeah basically 1 day in the summer, my family had a huge fight, my mom didnt want me to go to register for high school because as she always says "we are going home" That phrase makes me throw up now, she has been saying that for the past 4 years. She never does anything, she just sits around. Idk where the hell her life is headed. She sleeps in the apartment but spends most of her day away from the apartment
-I'm a fat, quiet kid...I work out now every week but I have such low self-esteem. I am not outgoing. I just go to school, do my work and come home. Nothing ever exciting happens in my life.
-I have an accent...Been her what 6 years now and still have an accent..Great
-1 bedroom apartment 4 people (my mom does sleep here so I guess she counts too
-Barely any money ... my dad and my brother barely manage to pay the rent and get food and stuff
But yeah, theres not much I can do. I'm basically dead. I am smart. I do good in school. But I am here illegally. Idk what my dad wants. Idk what my brother wants. I dont know anything. Idk what the hell Im gonna do when I'm 18. Probably suicide cuz my life is headed nowhere. Hey you know people always say "Have a positive attitude and smile on your face" Theres not much I can smile about since my life is hell. Nothing ever exciting happens. When my friends ask me to go out, I just say no. Ah they dont ask me anyway. My mom ruined my life. She stopped working. I even remember that day. She just stopped working with my dad. Ever since then, my life = hell. People say every person goes thru a rough time in their life. This has been going on for 4-5 years. I dont know if I can take it much anymore especially since I am in high school now. I won't do any drugs or alcohol. You can trust me on that. If I had legal papers, you dont know how happy I'd be. I'd just keep doing good in school. And then once I'm 18 I would just go and have my own life. But unfortunately, I can't do that. And my life is headed nowhere. I just cant take this anymore. I cant even look at my mom. She disgusts me so much, I have to throw up everytime I see her. Everyday she comes hope like at 8 pm or 9 pm. Lays down, and then in the morning she goes somewhere and comes back and etc. Don't say I need to talk to her. I have tried countless times for her to get back to work. She just won't. She wants to go back to my country. She doznt have any money. She doesnt want to leave me here. She just SITS around. I am disgusted. She just wont listen to me. There isnt anything I can do. I am helpless. My life is going to end up very bad. I just know it. It doznt mean that much that I am smart. I dont know what I did to deserve this. I always do the right thing. I am always mature. I have never done anything bad and never have hurt anybody. I don't know why I was meant for this life.
Health Question & Answer
Answers:
wow. Look I was depressed for 5 years, all of which I hid it very well. I felt like my life was nothing. I hated myself. I hated the way everyone made me feel. I cried at night because no one could hear me. I wrote countless of suicide notes. Sat there with my weapon of choice about to end it all. But in the end... it made me strong. I dislike that person I was but I'm glad she existed. Things are hard, I do understand that. But when you are 18 you can apply for citizenship, go to college and do anything with your life. You are looking at this like your trapped, I've done that millions of times, but their are two sides to every coin and that is yours. Your mom is her own problem I know you love her, but you can't stop her personal destructive behavior. Think of something positive. . .like being an astronaut or whatever it is that you want to be. Imagine yourself walking across the college graduation stage, or getting married. I know it's hard to see but if you set yourself a goal(s) and work towards them it'll make these years seem like a test of sorts.
No one can help you until you decide you WANT to help yourself. We can all say "no don't", but you need to think that too. Find one positive thing in your life. Like you love your dad or mom or brother or you have lots of friends or maybe it's a talent. Focus on that one positive then another will come along.
I felt last year like I'd "dead ended". I graduated high school and my mom wasn't helping me get the necessary paper work together so I could go to college so I didn't and all my friends were. But it didn't "dead end", I found the other side to my coin... I'm getting married, my fianc
No one can help you until you decide you WANT to help yourself. We can all say "no don't", but you need to think that too. Find one positive thing in your life. Like you love your dad or mom or brother or you have lots of friends or maybe it's a talent. Focus on that one positive then another will come along.
I felt last year like I'd "dead ended". I graduated high school and my mom wasn't helping me get the necessary paper work together so I could go to college so I didn't and all my friends were. But it didn't "dead end", I found the other side to my coin... I'm getting married, my fianc
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