Alright guys, this is a very serious question, and I really need your help. I will pick a best answer.?!
Question: Alright guys, this is a very serious question, and I really need your help. I will pick a best answer..?
Okay, I'm sitting here crying. I should be asleep, but I can't, and I never can, sleep. I don't know what it is. I'm afraid, very afraid, that there is someone in the house. I'm not logical, I check every where in the house, and in my room. But, I'm still scared. This has been going on for about a year now. I can't sleep. During the day, I do everything I can to prepare myself for the night time. I have cut off all sweets and caffine, in hopes of being able to sleep better. I've made lists of happy things to think of, while laying in bed and trying to sleep. I've honestly tried everything. But, after my mom goes to bed, I get scared. I start thinking about people being in my house, coming to get me in the middle of the night. I've tried literially everything, but nothing works. It seems that I will never get over this. My mom is a single mom. I live with her, and two siblings, Annie and Claire. One's twelve, and the other is eight months old. The only family I have is my grandparents, and my aunt Adele. When I'm at their houses, I'm fine. But I want to be home. I've actually tried living with my grandparents. It worked out fine, but I miss my home, and my family. I want to see my baby sister grow up, and I want to be just a cute little family. My family has gone through so many problems. Espiecally financially, those were the worst. But, just recently, in the past months, my mom has started recieving child support for my baby sister. Her father had to pay all the money he hadn't yet paid in child support, which was A LOT. About $6,000. That was just about enough to pay all of my mothers debt. Anyways, the point is, it's not always been easy. But now, everything is worked out, and we can finally function like a normal, happy family, which is what we are, aside from my problem. I don't understand, no one understands. We are still on a very tight budget, and my mom can't afford a counselor for me, but really, what would they say.? Would a counselor really do any good.? I've never expirenced anything tramatic in that category. And, one of the most wierd things is, I'm not scared when I'm at my grandparents house, or Adele's. It's just at home, which is where I really want to be. I have thought about living with my grandparents, but there is many layers to that. For one, if I did, my mother would loose child support, which would really screw her over financially. So, I'm stuck. I have to be home, that's where I want to be, but I can't. It doesn't make a whole lot of sence, and I don't understand it.
Some other factors that may make a difference is the fact that I slept in the same bed with my mom until I was about eleven or twelve.
I'm not scared when I sleep in the same bed with my mom.
I'm fourteen now.
I can't sleep with my mom because she doesn't have a very large bed, and there is not room, plus she likes to have her own bed to herself, with good reason.
And, lastly, I am not afraid when sleeping in hotels or apartments.
Guys, please, it's sad and pathetic, but you're my only hope. :P
This effects me, every day of my life. I am hoding my family back. We could start on a new path, a new way of life. With all problems out of the way, but now, this is going on.
My mom has never been scared like this, and I feel safe when I sleep in the same bed as her.
My siblings don't have this problem either, it's just me.
So, my questions are:
1. Why am I like this.?
2. If I were to see a counselor, could they help me.? They wouldn't really have any underlying things to work on. I'm scared at night, REALLY scared, and that's it.
3. MOST IMPORTANTLY, what can I do to get over this.?
And, at night time, when I'm scared, it's extreme. I sit in my bed crying, thinking about it so much, that I make myself believe there is actually someone in the house. And I get to the point where I get sick, and feel nausiated. I've thrown up, and I honeslty feel like theres someone in the house. But, I get in huge, HUGE trouble if I wake my mom up during the night, so I can't.
I don't know what to do, please HELP!
:'(
If I had it, I'd pay a million dollars to get rid of my problem.
also, I'm sorry for any grammer or puncuation problems, I was trying to type this fast.
30 minutes ago - 3 days left to answer.
Additional Details
25 minutes ago
also, all the doors and windows are locked during the day time, and I feel pretty safe in my house, during the day.
5 minutes ago
Oh, no, you guys. I love my father. He lives in California, but we talk a lot. I don't think it has anything to do with them.
2 minutes ago
My mother does know, I have been dealing with this for a while now, and both her and I, and the rest of my family is at loss...
Health Question & Answer
Answers:
I think it's fairly normal for a teen to have anxiety, especially when the home life has not been stable. When you mentioned your family's current stability, you said "finally", and alluded to this stability being somewhat precarious in spite of your mom's best efforts. You also mentioned that your smaller sister has a different father. It sounds like your mom has had a hard time finding and keeping a stable relationship, and may have emotional problems. Given the fact that you are aware of the details surrounding your sister's child support case something a girl your age should not be involved in), I get the impression that your mom talks with you a lot and may depend on you as a friend and confidant as well. That is a great burden for one so young to bear. In addition, you did not go through a normal process that most young children go through when they separate from their parents and begin to sleep on their own. In many cases a fear of the dark will occur, but is addressed and over with by the time the child reaches your age. So it may be that you are simply going through a normal stage, just a tad later than others.
It sounds to me like therapy is a good idea for you, because your anxiety is now effecting you to the point that it is compromising your ability to successfully address the tasks of every day living (you can't sleep). Though your mom can't afford it, she might check into whether or not you might be eligible for benefits under a state funded program, or through your school. It may also be possible for your mom to go through the court and get your father's help in providing therapy for you, or you could ask him if he'd be willing to help you get therapy yourself. the point is, there are many avenues that can be explored to work toward getting you the help you need.
One element to feeling anxiety of this nature, especially with your family history of instability, may be feeling out of control of your surroundings. Many who have been subjected to being uprooted (as children are when a divorce occurs - everyone moves to a different house, mom or dad is no longer around, money is tight, and it may be that the one parent left is now always at work) wind up having to deal with this type of issue and it is very commonly manifest as anxiety.
You can help this by doing little things to distract your conscious mind into feeling more secure, such as putting a small alarm on the window (these are inexpensive and can be gotten at most any home improvement store), or if you are religious, sleeping with an icon under your pillow.
While OCD isn't something to get into, it may help temporarily to go ahead and double check the lock and then crawl back into bed. That way when you start thinking about it, you can reassure yourself that the door is locked, you KNOW it is because you checked it, and there is no way for someone to get in now.
A lot of our fears can be either helped or worsened by our "self talk", and it sounds like you ruminate a lot and get yourself all worked up. What you need to be doing is telling yourself that these fears are irrational, and using logical fact (i.e. "the door is locked, I checked it") to back it up. It takes a while, but over time you may be able to train your brain not to worry so much by using a positive self dialogue every time this fear comes up.
That being said, the best cure for this sort of thing is to get at what is causing it. I know you have said you are simply afraid, and that is that. But it is obvious from the history you give that instability is a huge issue for you, and fears of an intruder are characteristic of someone who feels unable to control their environment, or unsafe in it. For this reason I suggest that you address your family history first. I have a feeling your fears may begin to subside when you address your feelings about not having a stable family unit and the constant money issues. In the meantime, try as much as you can to remember that being on your own is ok. Your mom doesn't need you to be in her room with her, and you don't need to be either. You may know this logically, but it sounds like that little girl inside is having trouble separating and starting the process of becoming her own young woman.
Good luck.
Health Question & Answer
It sounds to me like therapy is a good idea for you, because your anxiety is now effecting you to the point that it is compromising your ability to successfully address the tasks of every day living (you can't sleep). Though your mom can't afford it, she might check into whether or not you might be eligible for benefits under a state funded program, or through your school. It may also be possible for your mom to go through the court and get your father's help in providing therapy for you, or you could ask him if he'd be willing to help you get therapy yourself. the point is, there are many avenues that can be explored to work toward getting you the help you need.
One element to feeling anxiety of this nature, especially with your family history of instability, may be feeling out of control of your surroundings. Many who have been subjected to being uprooted (as children are when a divorce occurs - everyone moves to a different house, mom or dad is no longer around, money is tight, and it may be that the one parent left is now always at work) wind up having to deal with this type of issue and it is very commonly manifest as anxiety.
You can help this by doing little things to distract your conscious mind into feeling more secure, such as putting a small alarm on the window (these are inexpensive and can be gotten at most any home improvement store), or if you are religious, sleeping with an icon under your pillow.
While OCD isn't something to get into, it may help temporarily to go ahead and double check the lock and then crawl back into bed. That way when you start thinking about it, you can reassure yourself that the door is locked, you KNOW it is because you checked it, and there is no way for someone to get in now.
A lot of our fears can be either helped or worsened by our "self talk", and it sounds like you ruminate a lot and get yourself all worked up. What you need to be doing is telling yourself that these fears are irrational, and using logical fact (i.e. "the door is locked, I checked it") to back it up. It takes a while, but over time you may be able to train your brain not to worry so much by using a positive self dialogue every time this fear comes up.
That being said, the best cure for this sort of thing is to get at what is causing it. I know you have said you are simply afraid, and that is that. But it is obvious from the history you give that instability is a huge issue for you, and fears of an intruder are characteristic of someone who feels unable to control their environment, or unsafe in it. For this reason I suggest that you address your family history first. I have a feeling your fears may begin to subside when you address your feelings about not having a stable family unit and the constant money issues. In the meantime, try as much as you can to remember that being on your own is ok. Your mom doesn't need you to be in her room with her, and you don't need to be either. You may know this logically, but it sounds like that little girl inside is having trouble separating and starting the process of becoming her own young woman.
Good luck.
Health Question & Answer
wow you are going to have a hard time finding ppl who will take the time to read all this.....Health Question & Answer
i have to wonder how old you are. there are many agencies that provide counseling, so certainlt sound as if you can use it. if you were young enough, perhaps your school district could pick up the tab, your school would be able to point you in the right direction. health insurance, can also locate a counselor for you. Health Question & Answer
Hey.
I have the same problem whenever my dads away. I live in a big house, so i make sure all the windows and doors are locked, and i close all the blinds and curtains coz im afraid someone will look inside. I constantly think of more possibilities that killers could come in the house. Eg, I better keep one light on so "They" think someones still awake. When i was younger i used to even look behind every door in the house and pray for five minutes every night that everyone would be safe. Ive kind of grown out of it a bit, but still i never am to that extreme, nor does it majorly effect me, like it effects you.
I feel really bad for you, and i really hope you do get better and eventually grow out of this, but im glad i can relate to someone.
This never really effects my sleep, so you could try to take sleeping pills. You can also try watching a "happy/funny" movie before you go to bed, or try reading a good book.
You can even listen to music, or the radio while sleeping.
Anyways, i really hope you get better.
Good-luck.
xxx
Health Question & Answer
I have the same problem whenever my dads away. I live in a big house, so i make sure all the windows and doors are locked, and i close all the blinds and curtains coz im afraid someone will look inside. I constantly think of more possibilities that killers could come in the house. Eg, I better keep one light on so "They" think someones still awake. When i was younger i used to even look behind every door in the house and pray for five minutes every night that everyone would be safe. Ive kind of grown out of it a bit, but still i never am to that extreme, nor does it majorly effect me, like it effects you.
I feel really bad for you, and i really hope you do get better and eventually grow out of this, but im glad i can relate to someone.
This never really effects my sleep, so you could try to take sleeping pills. You can also try watching a "happy/funny" movie before you go to bed, or try reading a good book.
You can even listen to music, or the radio while sleeping.
Anyways, i really hope you get better.
Good-luck.
xxx
Health Question & Answer
I know you love your father but he is physically not there, would you not feel safer if he was in the house.?Health Question & Answer
jeez im not sure, a councelor would probably help, i remember having the same problem, but i made this thing up that as long as i had the fan running, anybody inside would get scared of the sound and run, it's stupid but if you can convince yourself of it then it makes a difference, try listening to an audio book (www.audible.com) while you try to sleep, or music.?
sorry i cant help you much
try talking to your momHealth Question & Answer
sorry i cant help you much
try talking to your momHealth Question & Answer
Sorry but I really can't be bothered reading all this...what I can say though is if you admit you aren't being logical...then you're being logical.
In other words, it's only illogical if you're oblivious to its illogicality. Health Question & Answer
In other words, it's only illogical if you're oblivious to its illogicality. Health Question & Answer
Sounds like some kind of phobia. It was a good idea to get rid of the caffeine and stuff but that's probably not going to help with this issue. I think because it has become this much of an problem in your life you should probably see a conseller. They will help you, yes. Provided you choose a good one that is. Until then mabye you could try to sleep closer to your mother somehow.? Possibly in a closer room. I know how you feel, I used to be like this in the night and I still get it occasionally but I grew out of it(Im 15 now). Until you do see a conseller remember that the chances of someone actually being in your house are EXTREMELY low and mabye try locking the doors of leaving the lights on if it helps. First and foremost you can overcome this so it won't affect your life anymore!
Hope I HelpedHealth Question & Answer
Hope I HelpedHealth Question & Answer
sorry ur feeling this way.i feel kinda scared sometimes too.but not that bad,and not at night.i suggest getting a puppy tht u get close to.once he gets big he can protect you at night,also,have some fun.get a friend to sleep over(unless ur paranoid about them)and go ding dong ditching AT NIGHT.if u feel scared about people coming in at night,or like if u walk around at night and think someones looking through the window,imagine them like going away(for me its like chainsawing them or something.talk to ur school counselor.email me too if u want to talk.im sorry ur feeling this way...Health Question & Answer
ok i read all this and i had the same type of problem with sleeping when i was 12
wat i do is either try to sleep early so it's before my parents or i leave on the lights or turn on the tv (if u hav one)
dont worry about a counselor unless it exceeds 2 yearsHealth Question & Answer
wat i do is either try to sleep early so it's before my parents or i leave on the lights or turn on the tv (if u hav one)
dont worry about a counselor unless it exceeds 2 yearsHealth Question & Answer