What is the best way to respond to people who are non accepting of you?!
Question: What is the best way to respond to people who are non accepting of you.?
and aloof .?
for a long time now people in general in my local community have acted ; stand-offish, aloof, patronising , insolent, brusque , disparaging ,belittling, condescending, haughty, and very non accepting of me , rebuffing my efforts to be friendly or civil , like trying to single me out , socially exclude me and ; make a victim out of me..
ive experienced this by society but ive tried to carry on and ignore it, like its not bothering me.
i could understand this behaviour maybe in the past because i used to have countless rage and aggressive outbursts in public , like a build up of stress and paranoia , similar to ; intermittent explosive disorder -
although that is not what i have , im 30 years old and a year ago was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and my psychiatrist accepted i have ptsd traits to.
the rage and aggression came from bullying, victimisation, taunts, physical attacks, throughout my early adult life where i stored up anger because i was sensitive and never fought back.
ive managed my conduct and rage for years now nearly 7 years, ive been chasing help from psychiatric services, i have bad agoraphobia - but theres no resources for individual psychotherapy in my area , so im having to accept what their offering, which is ;
an occupational therapist to help me get out , face my anxieties, and a resource centre where they do activities to help me integrate with humanity again.
i accept my disorderly, antisocial, dishonourable behaviour of the past where i used to lose it in public because i was jealous at seeing other people outside happy. where i would lash out, get attacked ( publicly humiliated ) cautioned by the police..
but this was many years ago, and it wasnt exactly a crime against humanity. iam not evil incarnate or ' the wicked one '..
but the way some of the public treat me with their non acceptance, aloofness , its like im being treated as a public hate figure.
and this is still happening in the present - i try to be friendly, civil, im steadily changing my ways , managing my aggression , but people dont seem accepting of me or are not ' reciprocating ' my efforts.
this behaviour has been going on for a long time and now i feel victimised and singled out.
i wont bow down to be accepted like i did in the past, YET , this behaviour by others reactions is screwing me up, controlling me , because at times im vulnerable , lonely and desperately seek approval , acceptance , validation, so in-effect ; people are controlling me because im;
' dancing to the beat of their drum '.
i really dont no how to react or handle this behaviour accept to feel and act aggressive towards people , react with outrage at peoples negative perceptions and behaviour towards me ......' enraged ' at them that they wont or dont seem to be accepting me no matter what i do..
i lose my conduct, then i take 10 steps back, because i work so hard to stay in control..
so tell me any psychologists .?
what other or different ways can i handle peoples behaviour without losing it, becoming aggressive , feeling inferior and INEPT.
what other ways do i react to peoples attitudes towards me that seem very negative at times .?
i think im acting desperate and needy for acceptance and i cant disguise it.
i know its long question but i need to know how to respond to the way i percieve some people are acting towards me - without getting or feeling aggressive.
btw - this behaviour is not in my mind and im not imagining it.
I NEED SPECIFIC ADVICE OR STRATEGIES ON HOW TO REACT TO IT.
and - im not in the position right now to relocate, im on disability, and need therapy to help my long term disorder so - i will have to work towards my eventual relocation.
iam not facing this behaviour because of my race , ie : iam not black etc.
im white living in a mainly white area .
i really need advice because of my disorder i have the potential to react with aggression or get overly aloof and unfriendly back.
i would really appreciate strategies and advice from someone - other than getting angry towards it.
the only thing i know how to do is feel or get angry.
thanks, regardsHealth Question & Answer
for a long time now people in general in my local community have acted ; stand-offish, aloof, patronising , insolent, brusque , disparaging ,belittling, condescending, haughty, and very non accepting of me , rebuffing my efforts to be friendly or civil , like trying to single me out , socially exclude me and ; make a victim out of me..
ive experienced this by society but ive tried to carry on and ignore it, like its not bothering me.
i could understand this behaviour maybe in the past because i used to have countless rage and aggressive outbursts in public , like a build up of stress and paranoia , similar to ; intermittent explosive disorder -
although that is not what i have , im 30 years old and a year ago was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and my psychiatrist accepted i have ptsd traits to.
the rage and aggression came from bullying, victimisation, taunts, physical attacks, throughout my early adult life where i stored up anger because i was sensitive and never fought back.
ive managed my conduct and rage for years now nearly 7 years, ive been chasing help from psychiatric services, i have bad agoraphobia - but theres no resources for individual psychotherapy in my area , so im having to accept what their offering, which is ;
an occupational therapist to help me get out , face my anxieties, and a resource centre where they do activities to help me integrate with humanity again.
i accept my disorderly, antisocial, dishonourable behaviour of the past where i used to lose it in public because i was jealous at seeing other people outside happy. where i would lash out, get attacked ( publicly humiliated ) cautioned by the police..
but this was many years ago, and it wasnt exactly a crime against humanity. iam not evil incarnate or ' the wicked one '..
but the way some of the public treat me with their non acceptance, aloofness , its like im being treated as a public hate figure.
and this is still happening in the present - i try to be friendly, civil, im steadily changing my ways , managing my aggression , but people dont seem accepting of me or are not ' reciprocating ' my efforts.
this behaviour has been going on for a long time and now i feel victimised and singled out.
i wont bow down to be accepted like i did in the past, YET , this behaviour by others reactions is screwing me up, controlling me , because at times im vulnerable , lonely and desperately seek approval , acceptance , validation, so in-effect ; people are controlling me because im;
' dancing to the beat of their drum '.
i really dont no how to react or handle this behaviour accept to feel and act aggressive towards people , react with outrage at peoples negative perceptions and behaviour towards me ......' enraged ' at them that they wont or dont seem to be accepting me no matter what i do..
i lose my conduct, then i take 10 steps back, because i work so hard to stay in control..
so tell me any psychologists .?
what other or different ways can i handle peoples behaviour without losing it, becoming aggressive , feeling inferior and INEPT.
what other ways do i react to peoples attitudes towards me that seem very negative at times .?
i think im acting desperate and needy for acceptance and i cant disguise it.
i know its long question but i need to know how to respond to the way i percieve some people are acting towards me - without getting or feeling aggressive.
btw - this behaviour is not in my mind and im not imagining it.
I NEED SPECIFIC ADVICE OR STRATEGIES ON HOW TO REACT TO IT.
and - im not in the position right now to relocate, im on disability, and need therapy to help my long term disorder so - i will have to work towards my eventual relocation.
iam not facing this behaviour because of my race , ie : iam not black etc.
im white living in a mainly white area .
i really need advice because of my disorder i have the potential to react with aggression or get overly aloof and unfriendly back.
i would really appreciate strategies and advice from someone - other than getting angry towards it.
the only thing i know how to do is feel or get angry.
thanks, regardsHealth Question & Answer
Answers:
Honestly I didn't read all of what you wrote, but in regards to people and there views of people with any sort of emotional problem they look at us as freaks or what ever, they think this way because of not understanding something and the lack of wanting to know unless it concerns them personally, society expects people to be and act a certain way and to fit into a specific catorgory and when they think you don't you are labeled a non conformist or an outcast or in some others eyes a lunatic, which isn't the case at all.
This is only my opinion going on how I have been treated by people around me as I suffer with anxeity and depression,they are those who how ever are sympathic to someone who has problems that they have no control over, I find when I feel like I'm getting angry or in harsher curcumstances wanting to take my own life, which has happen on a few occassions I jsut go to my favourite spot and just think of nice things that just I can enjoy, I don't know if this is what your after but I do hope it has helped you in some way, and I do want you to know that you are not along as there are a lot of people who suffer with emotional problems, If I didn't have depression and weren't on medication, I still would treat anyone who was any differently as I take everyone at face value and how they are, I wish you well and good luck and know that you do have a furure I know you may not be able to see it but it is there waiting for you, again hope this helps good luck take care and stay safe. Health Question & Answer
This is only my opinion going on how I have been treated by people around me as I suffer with anxeity and depression,they are those who how ever are sympathic to someone who has problems that they have no control over, I find when I feel like I'm getting angry or in harsher curcumstances wanting to take my own life, which has happen on a few occassions I jsut go to my favourite spot and just think of nice things that just I can enjoy, I don't know if this is what your after but I do hope it has helped you in some way, and I do want you to know that you are not along as there are a lot of people who suffer with emotional problems, If I didn't have depression and weren't on medication, I still would treat anyone who was any differently as I take everyone at face value and how they are, I wish you well and good luck and know that you do have a furure I know you may not be able to see it but it is there waiting for you, again hope this helps good luck take care and stay safe. Health Question & Answer