How do i handle being treated like an outcast?!


Question: How do i handle being treated like an outcast.?
for a long time now people in general in my local community have acted ; stand-offish, aloof, patronising , insolent, brusque , disparaging ,belittling, condescending, haughty, and very non accepting of me , rebuffing my efforts to be friendly or civil , like trying to single me out , socially exclude me and ; make a victim out of me..

ive experienced this by society but ive tried to carry on and ignore it, like its not bothering me.

i could understand this behaviour maybe in the past because i used to have countless rage and aggressive outbursts in public , like a build up of stress and paranoia , similar to ; intermittent explosive disorder -
although that is not what i have , im 30 years old and a year ago was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and my psychiatrist accepted i have ptsd traits to.

the rage and aggression came from bullying, victimisation, taunts, physical attacks, throughout my early adult life where i stored up anger because i was sensitive and never fought back.



ive managed my conduct and rage for years now nearly 7 years, ive been chasing help from psychiatric services, i have bad agoraphobia - but theres no resources for individual psychotherapy in my area , so im having to accept what their offering, which is ;

an occupational therapist to help me get out , face my anxieties, and a resource centre where they do activities to help me integrate with humanity again.



i accept my disorderly, antisocial, dishonourable behaviour of the past where i used to lose it in public because i was jealous at seeing other people outside happy. where i would lash out, get attacked ( publicly humiliated ) cautioned by the police..


but this was many years ago, and it wasnt exactly a crime against humanity. iam not evil incarnate or ' the wicked one '..


but the way some of the public treat me with their non acceptance, aloofness , its like im being treated as a public hate figure.
and this is still happening in the present - i try to be friendly, civil, im steadily changing my ways , managing my aggression , but people dont seem accepting of me or are not ' reciprocating ' my efforts.

this behaviour has been going on for a long time and now i feel victimised and singled out.



i wont bow down to be accepted like i did in the past, YET , this behaviour by others reactions is screwing me up, controlling me , because at times im vulnerable , lonely and desperately seek approval , acceptance , validation, so in-effect ; people are controlling me because im;

' dancing to the beat of their drum '.



i really dont no how to react or handle this behaviour accept to feel and act aggressive towards people , react with outrage at peoples negative perceptions and behaviour towards me ......' enraged ' at them that they wont or dont seem to be accepting me no matter what i do..



i lose my conduct, then i take 10 steps back, because i work so hard to stay in control..

so tell me any psychologists .?


what other or different ways can i handle peoples behaviour without losing it, becoming aggressive , feeling inferior and INEPT.



what other ways do i react to peoples attitudes towards me that seem very negative at times .?

i think im acting desperate and needy for acceptance and i cant disguise it.




i know its long question but i need to know how to respond to the way i percieve some people are acting towards me - without getting or feeling aggressive.




btw - this behaviour is not in my mind and im not imagining it.

I NEED SPECIFIC ADVICE OR STRATEGIES ON HOW TO REACT TO IT.


and - im not in the position right now to relocate, im on disability, and need therapy to help my long term disorder so - i will have to work towards my eventual relocation.






iam not facing this behaviour because of my race , ie : iam not black etc.



im white living in a mainly white area .



i really need advice because of my disorder i have the potential to react with aggression or get overly aloof and unfriendly back.



i would really appreciate strategies and advice from someone - other than getting angry towards it.



the only thing i know how to do is feel or get angry.



thanks, regardsHealth Question & Answer


Answers:
I did not read everything that you wrote, but I will give you my answer, Sweetness. How do you handle being an outcast.?.?.? You just be one and love it. There is nothing wrong with being an "outcast" or being different. I think that you worry to much about what people think of you. Screw them!!! Just be you. I am an outcast, and so many of my friends are to. What I am telling you is to be the unique you. Don't be afraid to live outside of the box. One day the right people will be drawn to you, just because you are you. Be who you are and love yourself. People are drawn to you, I am. xoxoxoxoxoxox ~Erick~Health Question & Answer

i have agoraphobia too, severe depression, low self esteem, no friends, i am very angry at people, i am not white so i got some racial shlt from time to time, and i am very short (5'6'') so that adds to the low self esteem

i plan on moving out of the city, and live a quiet and calm life away from people, maybe move to a rural area with mountains and lots of nature and lakes and running water. where i can live in peacefully with nature, so i dont have to face other humans. maybe i can even build my own hut/house and catch my own fish for food. i am done with trying to fit in to this society, they just dont accept people like us, so why put up any longerHealth Question & Answer



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