Help with my life social anxiety, depression, how do i beat it?!
Question: Help with my life social anxiety, depression, how do i beat it.?
OK i know some answers will probably be go see a doc.. but i believe my problem is a bit more with in. My views on the world and some past experiences play again and again in my head like a broken record...i cannot let go... i only see the big picture, what i mean is when ever i look at the night sky into space i see and understand the sheer size of the universe and i feel so insignificant... i mean whether we die at the age of 1 or 100 in the end you practically didn't exist either way.. my mind is so consumed on understanding everything, mostly what is the point of life here on earth...i don't believe in god as described in any book on this earth..i do believe that our bodies are machines for our true self that one might refer to as the soul..i do believe we reincarnate...which makes life even more pointless...well i just wanted to get into that with a brief view on the world...
now i wanna get into a bit of past experiences that still trouble me very much... a year and a half ago i had to watch my friend die, he was shot by our friend, i wasnt there when he got shot but he lived nextdoor and 2 other kids came and got me cuz i was a bit older then them...when i got there he was lying on the floor unconcious still breathing, but barely i could here the blood in his lungs and i knew he wasnt gonna make it right when i saw him...somehow i remained calm went to his side and was with him in his final minutes...then comes the court case.... i got a sapina to show up in court to testify cuz i was at the scene and that whole mess dragged out for a year and 5 summons or so and i could never really let go...the kid was being tried for involuntary man slaughter and was not found guilty..i know it was cuz 9/12 of the jury was mexican and so was he... cuz they obviously cant read and understand what involentary manslaughter means...i still struggle very much with this.. about 6 months before this girl i didnt really know to well but hooked up with was murdered along with her mom and moms bf i dont know much about it but that they never caught the Piece of **** and everytime i think of sex i think back to the last girl i was with and it was her so its hard to forget that **** and let go of it.. i also had a few more deaths following my friend who was shot, aunt died, then an uncle, and just recently my dog died who was like my shadow i miss them all so much...
now im not trying to throw a pity party just the fact that i speak maybe 500-1000 words a day i barely talk to anyone any more, only think to myself...my whole entire existence is in my head now and is stuck there...everything i do really is mostly by my self and i dont have anyone to talk to.. i try to talk to my mom but she doesnt help really just keeps me alive...my sister has her own life now...i just am alone thats all and my body feels more like a prison then anything else...and i just wanna be free, and one thing that makes it hard is im afraid of people... an actual phobia of people... Social Anxiety Disorder... you know how u scratch your head wondering why when u were a kid u had a friend that was clostraphobic and would freak out if he got messed with and wrapped up in a blanket and has a nervous breakdown or something...same with arachnaphobia...its like WTF am i just cursed or something it feels like my life is threatend when im in a group of people, my body triggers flight or fight, and i usually just leave and get away from the situation...but this is killing me...it is hard to go get a job a degree a girl....a life... part of me fears death but part of me wishes for it...the dilemma of a lost soul....
im tryin to be more optimistic even tho im truly a pessimist, im working on my diet and trying to eat according to these health books, i tried taken prozac before but it just made me tired, my problem is more like my heart is shattered and my soul is torn...how do u fix that.?
i do know that if i ever get over this i want to help people like me cuz if there is a hell this is it and no one should have to go through this... please help me with ideas on how to get my self back in flow with the world...help me with the small picture and the baby steps plz!
any ideas of what i could do to get out more.? i go hiking and stuff but its hard to find people with the time to go cuz they have to work 2 jobs or something to support there lifestyle so please if u have any kind of suggestion to move forward in life and advice please i have no else...Health Question & Answer
now i wanna get into a bit of past experiences that still trouble me very much... a year and a half ago i had to watch my friend die, he was shot by our friend, i wasnt there when he got shot but he lived nextdoor and 2 other kids came and got me cuz i was a bit older then them...when i got there he was lying on the floor unconcious still breathing, but barely i could here the blood in his lungs and i knew he wasnt gonna make it right when i saw him...somehow i remained calm went to his side and was with him in his final minutes...then comes the court case.... i got a sapina to show up in court to testify cuz i was at the scene and that whole mess dragged out for a year and 5 summons or so and i could never really let go...the kid was being tried for involuntary man slaughter and was not found guilty..i know it was cuz 9/12 of the jury was mexican and so was he... cuz they obviously cant read and understand what involentary manslaughter means...i still struggle very much with this.. about 6 months before this girl i didnt really know to well but hooked up with was murdered along with her mom and moms bf i dont know much about it but that they never caught the Piece of **** and everytime i think of sex i think back to the last girl i was with and it was her so its hard to forget that **** and let go of it.. i also had a few more deaths following my friend who was shot, aunt died, then an uncle, and just recently my dog died who was like my shadow i miss them all so much...
now im not trying to throw a pity party just the fact that i speak maybe 500-1000 words a day i barely talk to anyone any more, only think to myself...my whole entire existence is in my head now and is stuck there...everything i do really is mostly by my self and i dont have anyone to talk to.. i try to talk to my mom but she doesnt help really just keeps me alive...my sister has her own life now...i just am alone thats all and my body feels more like a prison then anything else...and i just wanna be free, and one thing that makes it hard is im afraid of people... an actual phobia of people... Social Anxiety Disorder... you know how u scratch your head wondering why when u were a kid u had a friend that was clostraphobic and would freak out if he got messed with and wrapped up in a blanket and has a nervous breakdown or something...same with arachnaphobia...its like WTF am i just cursed or something it feels like my life is threatend when im in a group of people, my body triggers flight or fight, and i usually just leave and get away from the situation...but this is killing me...it is hard to go get a job a degree a girl....a life... part of me fears death but part of me wishes for it...the dilemma of a lost soul....
im tryin to be more optimistic even tho im truly a pessimist, im working on my diet and trying to eat according to these health books, i tried taken prozac before but it just made me tired, my problem is more like my heart is shattered and my soul is torn...how do u fix that.?
i do know that if i ever get over this i want to help people like me cuz if there is a hell this is it and no one should have to go through this... please help me with ideas on how to get my self back in flow with the world...help me with the small picture and the baby steps plz!
any ideas of what i could do to get out more.? i go hiking and stuff but its hard to find people with the time to go cuz they have to work 2 jobs or something to support there lifestyle so please if u have any kind of suggestion to move forward in life and advice please i have no else...Health Question & Answer
Answers:
I read it all and it took me a while so I may as well try and help even though I'm not an expert or psychologist. I have felt social anxiety and I have had a few traumatic experiences in my life as well, probably not as much as you but trust me in knowing that alot of people in this world are dealing with stress and problems in their lives just like you. Maybe knowing you are not alone will help. You aren't...everyone wonders the meaning of life, everyone wonders if their is a God or if their is point to all this pain and suffering but without pain and suffering and stress...what would life be.?.?
Wouldn't life be boring and NOT worth living if we didn't have daily challenges, or obstacles to overcome.? That is how we grow, we learn from each experience (good or bad) and once we are all-knowing and perfect we no longer need to reincarnate to learn more. These things you have gone through are very tragic indeed but to let these experiences define you will waste the future that you could have.
Traumatic experiences need to be forgotten but since this is not easy we have things like counsellors and psychologists who will help you cope. Then I think it would be time to find a hobby or something that you do in life that makes you happy then pursue a career in that field.
That's all I can think of and I hope I have helped.
: )Health Question & Answer
Wouldn't life be boring and NOT worth living if we didn't have daily challenges, or obstacles to overcome.? That is how we grow, we learn from each experience (good or bad) and once we are all-knowing and perfect we no longer need to reincarnate to learn more. These things you have gone through are very tragic indeed but to let these experiences define you will waste the future that you could have.
Traumatic experiences need to be forgotten but since this is not easy we have things like counsellors and psychologists who will help you cope. Then I think it would be time to find a hobby or something that you do in life that makes you happy then pursue a career in that field.
That's all I can think of and I hope I have helped.
: )Health Question & Answer
....s sake man ! Do you know any good jokes .?
Read your own posting and the root of your problem is there.
Too much I and Me ! Dont touch anti depressants !
p.s. 'hookers' as you call them chosen carefully wisely and given due respect can be very therapeutic. Certainly nicer than some major drug company pimp 'head doctor' who's half asleep.Health Question & Answer
Read your own posting and the root of your problem is there.
Too much I and Me ! Dont touch anti depressants !
p.s. 'hookers' as you call them chosen carefully wisely and given due respect can be very therapeutic. Certainly nicer than some major drug company pimp 'head doctor' who's half asleep.Health Question & Answer
Omg your life sounds realy hard,the thing you need now is someone to talk to,maybe a therepist.? My doctor put me on cilift, its realy starting to work.Only problem is it takes about two weeks to kick in, you take it every night. Go see someone,and if you need to talk,msg me. XHealth Question & Answer