I've been wanting to kill myself for 2 years now?!


Question: I've been wanting to kill myself for 2 years now.?
Not very long for the hardcore people with sucky lives, but I'm not that old.

So, I'm assuming something's wrong. I know what's wrong. But I can't fix it. There's no solution. I've been searching, everywhere, for every possible solution, but there just isn't one. It makes me depressed. If I can't solve my problems, I don't want them to haunt me all my life. They annoy the hell out of me. I just don't want to deal with them anymore. As much as I want to just push them aside, I can't anymore. I'm just not capable of doing that anymore. I've stopped being capable of doing many things.

I don't want to see a psychologist, and I don't want to talk to anyone about it. That's probably my biggest recovery problem. Besides ranting to Yahoo Answers about my issues, I've never told anyone. Psychologists are too dramatic, so that's understandable. But talking. I just can't do it. I want help. But no matter which way I look at it, I can't get it. It's just not plausible. I would take it should it be offered to me, but I generally am the last priority in my life. If doing something for myself means several others are hurt, I'm not going to do it. I can hold off.

I just don't know how much longer I can do so. I'm really reaching the end of my rope here. It's a shame really, because I'm often told by the people who know me that I'm an amazing guy and can ironically cheer people up quick. But...I don't know. I have to live though. I just really don't want to. I'm afraid that my body might just start shutting down like it did a few years ago. Even though I have the resolve that I can't die, my body is weaker than that.

I don't know. I'm sick of being in a state of wanting to die but not doing so simply because I can't. I know what ties I have to this world and what would happen to others should I just take the lame way out and kill myself. I'm not stupid. It's just hard not to kill myself. It's almost every day. I'll usually have 1 peaceful day where I'm too busy to think.

I'm trying Mental Health because the guys at Psychology usually don't read things longer than one paragraph. I don't know you guys. For all I know I might get some generic answers because suicidal folk are just a part of your daily routine. I think I just needed to vent. Hell if I know. I feel perfectly fine right now, but that's just the way it always goes. Anytime I go for help I feel perfect. It's almost as if I shouldn't even bother.Health Question & Answer


Answers:
read every word. But besides that fact it mad me a little worried to be
reading this because it seems like you know you need help but
refuse it.? i understand the idea you don't want to deal with your problems
with others, But as humans we have to vent and let out our emotions.

Another issue is your self esteem...Im glad to hear that you have a
great characterisitc of being able to cheer others up : ) But you need
to realize how important you our to yourself. Why would you take your
self out of the earth, before you had the chance to live. Sit out in the
******* nature and realize that this world is beautiful, how everything
functions together and works together.

Sure we have rough times and we wonder why certain things happen to us.But, the only thing you can do is learn that Things that happen
in the past is the Past. You cannot rearrange any of that so focus on what you are and focus on what your wants and needs are.

Write a Journal, Take up photography, Start Reading. Learn or do
something that you enjoy, if you can't help yourself no one can. But
i know you can....Everyone has it in them. Enjoy life : )

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http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/...
Health Question & Answer

IM me. it might not help, but it might. otherwise i prescribe whiskey.Health Question & Answer

You have reached out just my placing this on yahoo answers. this is the first step, well done. I understand u do not like talking but to a stranger it is sometimes alot easier than u think. Many people have issues who choose to ignore them, at least u are aware of yours. Can listen to u if u would like. yahoo messenger. curlupandie70.Health Question & Answer

Ok first off what are you trying to get from this, i am genuinely not trying to be rude but, you wont accept help, so what can anyone do for you.? Have you ever even seen a psychologist, they actually aren't half bad, what is the real problem anyways, is it just depression, or is it something more complicated than that. And who would you hurt by going to counseling. I have suffered from an anxiety disorder from age 7 and I am now 23, I know how it is to want to give up, but I am stronger than that, and also am willing to accept help, I am also an psychology major at OSU, so it help to understand my disorder. I don't know what to say to you, but I can relate to what you are feeling, I know you don't want to hear this, but be a man and get help, you probably have people out there who give a dang about you, and you sound like a smart individual, they would be hurt as you already are aware of! If you want to email and just talk with me not as a psychologist but just as a person who has been there, fell free, if not good luck and I wish you the best! I

I agree all of the answers on here have some kind of point and make since, give people the credit they deserve here people, and stop being so negitive, I give thumbs up to everyone, just for being genuine, and caring enough to answer.Health Question & Answer

Bah....well I don't know if I'm a 'hardcore person with a sucky life', but I've been wanting to kill myself on and off since I was eleven. No apparent reason, either. I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder less than a year ago, and for some reason thought it was a good idea to stop going to therapy and quit college :P

I'm glad you're at least getting your thoughts out here, even if it's anonymously and without 'treatment'. I would always tell someone to consider therapy, or medication if needed...but honestly they're just people. They have more experience with people like us, but they're not going to help you anymore than you will help yourself.

I have struggled with this so much myself. And, I know exactly what you mean when you say the second you go for help you feel just fine. And, then you wonder how you ever thought you had a problem in the first place. But, from my experience there's a part of me that always wants to deny that I have a problem...because I'm not allowed to have a problem. It's embarrassing. It's even MORE depressing to go around and say you're depressed and you need help, so you just keep it to yourself. And let it fester and grow. And, then you become more isolated, and you let the depression cover you like a blanket. Well, that blanket may never kill you (of course it can), but it's definitely going to make you miserable in the long run and...I know I have missed so many opportunities in my life by not trying to take care of myself and get help for mental disorder.

I don't know if anything I just said is going to help anything. Frankly, I'm extremely manic right now and I wouldn't be surprised if all that was incoherent nonsense. But, basically...what I'm saying is if you have an opportunity to express your feelings, or seek support and think you are capable of doing so...please do. I'm still alive because of the few times I've been able to go to someone and admit to what's going on. You say you're afraid you'll hurt people by being open about this...well it's going to hurt them more if you kill yourself and they realize you never trusted them enough to come to them about this.

Health Question & Answer

Please don't.
I know how you feel. You feel like it can't possibly get better and suicide is the only way out. Talk to a family member first. And even though you say you can't do it, at least try seeing a therapist or psychologist, even if it's just going to vent once a week or something. Or try group therapy. It's incredible what talking to people who are in the same situation can do for you.

It's not exactly the same, but I've had thoughts of suicide, though not to the same degree. Remember; if you die, things can't change but when you're alive, the potential for change exists.Health Question & Answer



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