I'm fifteen, my sister is seventeen. How can we get our mother to get help for her drinking?!
Question: I'm fifteen, my sister is seventeen. How can we get our mother to get help for her drinking.?
My mum's an alcoholic, and the problem has been spiraling for a while until last night she literally went mental and was screaming and crying and trying to slit her wrists with a razor blade.
We had to call the police and at least eight cops were there along with two paramedics, it wasn't actually that bad she stayed the night in the assessment room in the emergency department and came home the next day even though all the doctors wanted her to stay for some psych treatment.
Anyway, today she kept apologizing and saying she was going to 'stop drinking' which is something she's been saying for a long time. But then we noticed she was slurring her words a little and just acting the way she acts when she's drunk, we breathalyzed her and she came up as nearly .02, but she's denying it and saying it's because she used Listerine (mouthwash).
How can we convince her to get help.? Whenever we ask her to she just says 'I'm fine', and if we push it she tells us she 'might' call a counselor but never does and continues to drink.
Anyone who has been in this situation before.? How did you get the person to get help.? It's urgent...Health Question & Answer
We had to call the police and at least eight cops were there along with two paramedics, it wasn't actually that bad she stayed the night in the assessment room in the emergency department and came home the next day even though all the doctors wanted her to stay for some psych treatment.
Anyway, today she kept apologizing and saying she was going to 'stop drinking' which is something she's been saying for a long time. But then we noticed she was slurring her words a little and just acting the way she acts when she's drunk, we breathalyzed her and she came up as nearly .02, but she's denying it and saying it's because she used Listerine (mouthwash).
How can we convince her to get help.? Whenever we ask her to she just says 'I'm fine', and if we push it she tells us she 'might' call a counselor but never does and continues to drink.
Anyone who has been in this situation before.? How did you get the person to get help.? It's urgent...Health Question & Answer
Answers:
First, I am so sorry that you are going through this. I'm 19, and I've been going through this same thing with my mom since I was 13 years old. [And I'm the oldest of 3, so it's been hard on the whole family.]
Now for the hard part. From what it sounds like, your mom needs help. [Duh, you already knew that one.] But she's not going to get that help until she hits rock bottom. She'll keep making promises and excuses, breaking the promises and voiding the excuses the next time she screws up. My mom is still doing it. Once you've dealt with it for a long time, you stop believing them. It's like the boy who cried wolf -- people stop running to save the boy, even when he finally tells the truth.
But what it comes down to is that the only person who can help her is herself. She could have stayed in the psych ward and gotten the help she needed, but she didn't. She either doesn't think that she has a problem, knows that she has a problem and doesn't care, or knows about the problem and wants the attention.
Whatever the reason, and even if she is a complete idiot and something bad happens to her, you MUST remember that you cannot prevent it and it is not your fault. Your mom, as amazing as she may be while sober, has issues that she does not want to deal with. But they have nothing to do with you or your sister.
If it gets to be too much, you can always go live with a relative [or your father, if he's around]. If you do decide to do that, and follow through, that may be the last straw for her. [By follow through I mean don't go back as soon as she's stopped -- wait a bit to see if she's serious.]
It could be what helps her stop. It could do nothing, or it could make it worse. Either way, as mean as it sounds, you can't care for her. You can love her [which you will], but you can't be her caretaker. She's your mom, she's supposed to look after you and your sister. Not the other way around.
Please, get yourselves out of the situation if you can. If you can't, talk to a couple of relatives and see if they can help. If you need to talk, or if you would like to update me [which I would like very much], you can email me at cyrella_nundye@yahoo.com. Good luck.Health Question & Answer
Now for the hard part. From what it sounds like, your mom needs help. [Duh, you already knew that one.] But she's not going to get that help until she hits rock bottom. She'll keep making promises and excuses, breaking the promises and voiding the excuses the next time she screws up. My mom is still doing it. Once you've dealt with it for a long time, you stop believing them. It's like the boy who cried wolf -- people stop running to save the boy, even when he finally tells the truth.
But what it comes down to is that the only person who can help her is herself. She could have stayed in the psych ward and gotten the help she needed, but she didn't. She either doesn't think that she has a problem, knows that she has a problem and doesn't care, or knows about the problem and wants the attention.
Whatever the reason, and even if she is a complete idiot and something bad happens to her, you MUST remember that you cannot prevent it and it is not your fault. Your mom, as amazing as she may be while sober, has issues that she does not want to deal with. But they have nothing to do with you or your sister.
If it gets to be too much, you can always go live with a relative [or your father, if he's around]. If you do decide to do that, and follow through, that may be the last straw for her. [By follow through I mean don't go back as soon as she's stopped -- wait a bit to see if she's serious.]
It could be what helps her stop. It could do nothing, or it could make it worse. Either way, as mean as it sounds, you can't care for her. You can love her [which you will], but you can't be her caretaker. She's your mom, she's supposed to look after you and your sister. Not the other way around.
Please, get yourselves out of the situation if you can. If you can't, talk to a couple of relatives and see if they can help. If you need to talk, or if you would like to update me [which I would like very much], you can email me at cyrella_nundye@yahoo.com. Good luck.Health Question & Answer
Tell your Mum to read this plea for help from strangers and also get her to read the answers.
If it was me and you were my little girl. It would break my heart to see what I was doing to you and your sister.
Maybe she will react in the same way and seek help for your sakes if not hers.Health Question & Answer
If it was me and you were my little girl. It would break my heart to see what I was doing to you and your sister.
Maybe she will react in the same way and seek help for your sakes if not hers.Health Question & Answer
Is she married.? Because if she is her husband can commit her into a facility that with keep her away from drinking and they have counseling.If not, I suggest you contact your local department of human services.. Health Question & Answer