A close friend of mine used to be outgoing and confident but now he rarely leaves his house ...?!


Question: A close friend of mine used to be outgoing and confident but now he rarely leaves his house ....?
I've known this guy for a good 4 years now, when we met we were both 17 and he was really confident, outgoing, friendly, etc.

Now, 4 years on, he stays inside all the time, rarely goes shopping (for anything), seems to think so little of himself and hardly ever speaks to me.
He lives with his parents, who don't expect him to pay rent or pay for food, etc.

We live in the same area, so I usually walk round to see him, but sometimes he just tells me to go away, but I'm so worried about him.

He used to live in a house with his ex girlfriend, but they split up (this was 2 years ago) and around a year ago he became how he is now.

Should I grant his wishes and leave him alone.? Or should I try to find out what's wrong with him.?

I think it may be some form of depression, but surely he should be getting help. Staying inside 24/7 (with going out in his garden) is no way for anybody to live, and honestly, it hurts me to see him stuck in a house all day.

I've tried getting him to come on short walks with me or even just to come shopping, but he won't.
It's almost like he is afraid to leave his house, for some reason.

What should I do.?
I so badly want to help him, even if I just get him out of the house for 15 minutes, at least he gets to breathe some fresh air.

Thanks.
PS: I don't want any idiots answering who thinks this is funny.

On the occasions he doesn't tell me to go away, he will let me inside his house, but we don't talk about him going out, though I may say "I'm popping to Tesco on the way back, do you want to come, then we can walk back here.?" but he will always turn down the offer.

I don't think his parents care about him much, tbh, he spends most of his time in his bedroom, with no company.Health Question & Answer


Answers:
Keep trying to make connections with him, but you cannot cure him. When he does let you in, stay and talk to him. If he tells you to go away..then do, and say call me if you want to talk.

I'm sorry for your friend and you. Mental illness affects everyone around the ill person. It is very difficult to make someone do something they don't want to do, though. Accept him for who he is now, but don't let it bring you down too. As that can happen. Every once and a while ask him if he wants to go out, if he says no, then say ok, maybe next time, or whenever you feel like it. Tell him you care about him, and hope he knows how much you do.

There is very little you can do, sorry. He has to want to change in order to get help. And that is very frustrating to family and friends of the person.

You are a very good friend, but don't lose yourself in the process. Do not blame yourself for his lack of socialization, or whatever happens to him if he becomes worse. You can get sick too. It is not your fault, and you can only be there if he reaches out to you. Good luck.Health Question & Answer

I think you may be wasting your time with this one.

You had a failed relationship with him and he went off with some one else. There is no second chance here. It is over. You can not help him, much as you care for him it is not you he loves.

Leave him to get on with his life and you get on with yours.

Health Question & Answer

The next time you see him, maybe you should tell him how you feel and why, and let him know that he can trust you. If your description is accurate, he sounds like he may have a mental illness. If that's the case, it's a tough call whether or not you should broach the subject with him or his family. You'd have to think carefully about it before doing so. Health Question & Answer

I really think you should talk to his parents. The fact that they at least let him live at home is a good sign that they do care but probably don't know how to help so have given up in a way. He shows all the clear signs of depression and seeing someone and having someone to talk to is always a good way to start. You're doing the right thing by trying to get him to interact with you but you need to realize that you can't give up. I would suggest taking him to see a therapist. Get his parents involved. Do everything possible to get him to talk about it. You mentioned an ex but anything lasting this long is going to be very serious. He needs to see someone soon. If you are really concerned you may want to bring a therapist or doctor to see him at his own house if he continues to be stubborn. Health Question & Answer



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