My lack of confidence is literally ruining my life. ?!
Question: My lack of confidence is literally ruining my life. .?
I used to be confident and extremely outgoing and personable. But now, not so much. Basically, I'm 19 and I've never had a job. This is not because I don't want one, or because I'm lazy. I'm simply PETRIFIED, more so of the interviews and of being rejected than actually working. I want to work, actually. I dread driving because I don't want to make anyone angry, or make myself look stupid. I avoid situations constantly if I don't understand how to navigate them to the T so that I do not embarrass myself. I haven't gone out much in recent years for the same reasons. I'm literally afraid of everything. I've been to a therapist before, but because I'm fairly intelligent and successfully self-diagnosed myself, she had no further business with me. What can I do.? I can't function this way, and I understand that confidence doesn't grow on trees. Do you have any suggestions.? Please don't berate me for my whining and ranting, this is really eating away at me and I'll welcome any form of help I can get. Health Question & Answer
Answers:
You need to know that you are not the exeption to this dilemma. As much as you think you are, many people go through the fears of rejection every day. A way to help you get through this is to realize that these "strangers" are people too, and went through this torture when they were your age whether you believe that or not. Life goes on and it will be okay. You are truly stonger than them. You're personality is what you can build it to be. Health Question & Answer
Just know that your the only one that pays attention that much to your mistakes. Everyone is concerned with themselves, they wont really care about everything you do wrong. And i highly doubt anything your worried about will happen. Just get a few interviews for a job, and try your best. If it don't work, try again. Everyone has to go through it, and yu do to (: Hope i helped and good luck!Health Question & Answer
I would suggest that you find another therapist.
Yes, you are intelligent but have diagnosed yourself, but diagnoses (while important) is not quite the point. You need to understand WHY you are crippled by your lack of confidence. And to have someone urge to to (slowly) try new things etc.
This really sounds like it is hampering your life ... I mean, if you can't get a job and you dread driving a car -- please get some help !! You are only 19, don't make this your life.
Take care!Health Question & Answer
Yes, you are intelligent but have diagnosed yourself, but diagnoses (while important) is not quite the point. You need to understand WHY you are crippled by your lack of confidence. And to have someone urge to to (slowly) try new things etc.
This really sounds like it is hampering your life ... I mean, if you can't get a job and you dread driving a car -- please get some help !! You are only 19, don't make this your life.
Take care!Health Question & Answer
Oh my goodness! You sound just like me I swear. Everything except the seeing a therapist part. I hate that I am this way though because I have a cousin who is around the same age as me and my whole family compares me to her. She drives, has her own car, has 2 jobs and is going to school at the same time. I wish I could tell you what to do but I am in the same predicament right now.Health Question & Answer
Sounds like anxiety. Prozac really helps.
I'd go on about how I have social anxiety and how I couldn't do anything, but I figured you're going to get 20 answers and I will have spent all that time relating to a computer screen.
-- later to find out that you picked a best answer from someone who said "Just be urself" lol. Health Question & Answer
I'd go on about how I have social anxiety and how I couldn't do anything, but I figured you're going to get 20 answers and I will have spent all that time relating to a computer screen.
-- later to find out that you picked a best answer from someone who said "Just be urself" lol. Health Question & Answer
You have a MAJOR anxiety problem that has & will always affect your confidence.
Go back to the therapist.
Good LuckHealth Question & Answer
Go back to the therapist.
Good LuckHealth Question & Answer
well,,,,i think you should get your fear out of the way...face your fears...understand ...and remind yourself no one is perfect...not only do you have your flaws...but we all do...when you feel like you will get rejected by an interview...remind yourself that...you wont be the first or the last....and besides...if they reject you....its not like the worsest thing on earth...sometimes...its just not what you are destined to do or be in...so dont look at it always as its something wrong with you...more like...maybe some other place will be more beneficial to me then this one...God knows better than you do...about where or where you should or not go...oh...your petrified of driving...honey...i understand..so was.i....i just had the good luck to have a mother who motivated me to drive...who gave me support...i think thats what you need...support from someone who knows how you feel...someone who wont judge you...or make you feel worst...talk to someone who you kno always finds a way to make you feel better...ur best friend for example...or mother...someone ...sometimes thats all you need...to be heard by someone who you kno takes you in consideration...if not...try your best to be your own self motivator...you have to be stronger within yourself...thats a step you have to take ....dont listen to those negative thoughts about not bein good enough...they are not true...it jus takes a while for some of us to understand that...because we are all imperfect an are driven to learn from our imperfections in order to get better as time progresses....i hope you do stop stoppin yourself from movin forward...not takin risks i think...is what ur really afraid of...afraid of being wrong...but regardless...there will always be a flaw..there is also always a virtue....Health Question & Answer
I have the same problem as you. It sucks, but I have learned a trick that keeps me going, even if it makes me miserable at times! Tell someone such as your mom that you are doing something like joining a club or getting a job! Tell a few people actually. The beauty lies in the logic! Since I don't like to embarrass myself or make myself looks stupid, I have to follow through with it, otherwise I will look stupid in front of the people I told. I'd see a psychologist though, they may be able to help you. I'd love to go to one, but I'm a university student and you know what they say about uni students and there money... they don't have any!Health Question & Answer
Well, you're the genius who diagnosed yourself, so be the genius who prescribes the treatment. Professionals are there to help you with your problem. I was able to diagnose my broken leg because I am "fairly intelligent", but I still went to a doctor to fix the problem. Do you see what I am saying.?
EDIT: I get that anyone can diagnose low self-esteem, just like anybody can diagnose a broken leg. My point was that perhaps you still could make use of your therapist or maybe you should see a psychiatrist who could prescribe medication.Health Question & Answer
EDIT: I get that anyone can diagnose low self-esteem, just like anybody can diagnose a broken leg. My point was that perhaps you still could make use of your therapist or maybe you should see a psychiatrist who could prescribe medication.Health Question & Answer
People that have the most self confidence are the ones who challenge themselves. The point is, that you take on a task and complete it and celebrate the small victories. Even when you don't complete the challenge, take it as a learning experience and find something that you learned. Then challenge yourself again. I know you may be petrified but start with some small things and keep increasing the difficulty so you can see that you are accomplishing something. also, keep a journal and force yourself to write one success in it every day - no matter how small. Health Question & Answer
Self confidence can be gained by self effort. It is caught not taught.
You have to be courageous. Bold. You have to be straight forward. Decent. Disciplined. Orderly. Have good habits and behaviour. Have good attitude. Have good vision. Channelize your time, energy, and resources towards some higher pursuits. Have proper diet and rest. Gain lot of good will. Invest in good will. You will get lot of dividend. Never think of ill will.
If your thinking, speaking and action all these three functions are matching and homogeneous, then you will gain lot of confidence. Be noble and virtuous. Confidence will come automatically.Health Question & Answer
You have to be courageous. Bold. You have to be straight forward. Decent. Disciplined. Orderly. Have good habits and behaviour. Have good attitude. Have good vision. Channelize your time, energy, and resources towards some higher pursuits. Have proper diet and rest. Gain lot of good will. Invest in good will. You will get lot of dividend. Never think of ill will.
If your thinking, speaking and action all these three functions are matching and homogeneous, then you will gain lot of confidence. Be noble and virtuous. Confidence will come automatically.Health Question & Answer
You poor girl...you are so smart...you have no reason to not have confidence in yourself!!
What happened where you lost your confidence.?.? Did something bad happen to you that destroyed your confidence.?.?
Either way...you should join a club, or start a new hobby...hopefully the fact that you're really good at that hobby will give you a bit more self confidence!
You could go get a really nice makeover one day, and buy some really cute new clothes...and try to make a fresh start as the NEW & CONFIDENT...YOU! It always feels good to do nice things for yourself, you could go with a friend or your mom, or an aunt/cousin!
Don't worry about interviews..you seem like a very intelligent person, and if you spoke to someone the same way you typed & worded your question, they would have no problem hiring you!!
Good Luck!! :)Health Question & Answer
What happened where you lost your confidence.?.? Did something bad happen to you that destroyed your confidence.?.?
Either way...you should join a club, or start a new hobby...hopefully the fact that you're really good at that hobby will give you a bit more self confidence!
You could go get a really nice makeover one day, and buy some really cute new clothes...and try to make a fresh start as the NEW & CONFIDENT...YOU! It always feels good to do nice things for yourself, you could go with a friend or your mom, or an aunt/cousin!
Don't worry about interviews..you seem like a very intelligent person, and if you spoke to someone the same way you typed & worded your question, they would have no problem hiring you!!
Good Luck!! :)Health Question & Answer