My life is so messed up?!
Question: My life is so messed up.?
I've had bad self esteem issues and depression since I was 5-ish. I've often thought about suicide, I cut myself, and I've had bulimia for about a year. I also have other issues..my dad is in prison for drug use and assault for 20 years, and my grandpa who I am very close to is dying in the ICU from complications from a recent surgery. Usually I push all my emotions aside and put a smile on my face. I never feel pain anymore, usually, but sometimes they all come to me at once and I break down. It feels like there's a cloud hanging above my head constantly, but I always ignore it. also, my grades are suffering. I'm shy. I have no real confidence in myself.
My mom knows about my problems. I've been asking for help, but my mom has been putting it off for months. I kknow it's about time to get help myself but I don't know where to start. also if I talked to someone on a hotline, I wouldn't really know what to say. I mean, there's no emergency.. I'm not going to kill myself, however much of a relief that would be. I really want to get better.Health Question & Answer
My mom knows about my problems. I've been asking for help, but my mom has been putting it off for months. I kknow it's about time to get help myself but I don't know where to start. also if I talked to someone on a hotline, I wouldn't really know what to say. I mean, there's no emergency.. I'm not going to kill myself, however much of a relief that would be. I really want to get better.Health Question & Answer
Answers:
I'm sorry to hear about your problems. You seem to have a lot going on, yet all these problems are connected. For instance, your bulimia is related to cutting because in both instances you are trying to gain control over certain aspects of your life. Perhaps part of this was brought up because of your shyness. Do you ever feel like you have to agree with someone to avoid conflict.? Do you feel like you always have to please people.? "no real confiedence in yourself"..I think I understand what you're saying there. It's like you fake confidence but deep inside you caanot emotionally connect with yourself or others.? Is this true.? Do you ever feel numb when you talk to people.? Do you ever feel emotionally detached.? I mean, I could be completely wrong, but I am just wondering..is this true.? Because by finding out more about you perhaps I can help you more. Health Question & Answer
well, that DOES seem like a lot on your plate, but If I were in your position I would, personally, tell my mom that I want to see a therapist. I'd tell her that I want to see one within the week, to push her to take immediate action. Maybe therapy could help, I mean, it helps to be able to open up to someone. In doing so, you learn about yourself. I'd tell your mom that you feel like you need that.
Best of Luck.Health Question & Answer
Best of Luck.Health Question & Answer
you know if I didn't know better,I would swear you were me!Seek help darl,there are many ways of this but don't just brood see your GP and you will,with effort,get better best of luck darl xxHealth Question & Answer