How to deal with a partner with OCD....anyone out there with advice?!
Question: How to deal with a partner with OCD....anyone out there with advice.?
I just found out that my boyfriend has a mild for or tourette's and OCD.
It is very mild... and symptoms show up very rarely. Except for the occasional twitch and screech (very occasional) and certain weird ritualistic behavior, he is perfectly normal. Normal enough that I didn't know about it til after 6 months or dating.... and we are very close and spend ALOT of time together.
So, my question is... what is the most supportive and beneficial way to react to this kind of behavior.?
I usually laugh off the tics or screeches, since they occur when he is happy or excited, when laughing is appropriate. If it ever happened in a serious or upsetting situation... I guess I should just ignore them, right.?
As for the OCD, he has some certain rituals that he goes through... such as checking the apartment lock 22 times before going to bed...
Should I to my best to distract hin from it or discourage this.? It is not harmful to him.... or me...but its not really healthy either.
Should I just be supportive and tolerant.? Should I ignore it.? I think that if I expressed enough dislike for this, he would try to refrain from it. But I don't want to stress him out... it's a compulsion, so I'm sure he feels better after satisfying this compulsion.
How should I handle this.?Health Question & Answer
It is very mild... and symptoms show up very rarely. Except for the occasional twitch and screech (very occasional) and certain weird ritualistic behavior, he is perfectly normal. Normal enough that I didn't know about it til after 6 months or dating.... and we are very close and spend ALOT of time together.
So, my question is... what is the most supportive and beneficial way to react to this kind of behavior.?
I usually laugh off the tics or screeches, since they occur when he is happy or excited, when laughing is appropriate. If it ever happened in a serious or upsetting situation... I guess I should just ignore them, right.?
As for the OCD, he has some certain rituals that he goes through... such as checking the apartment lock 22 times before going to bed...
Should I to my best to distract hin from it or discourage this.? It is not harmful to him.... or me...but its not really healthy either.
Should I just be supportive and tolerant.? Should I ignore it.? I think that if I expressed enough dislike for this, he would try to refrain from it. But I don't want to stress him out... it's a compulsion, so I'm sure he feels better after satisfying this compulsion.
How should I handle this.?Health Question & Answer
Answers:
I live with someone who has OCD and is schizotypal.
I'm not sure how to go about the touretts. Sounds like what you would do is what I would do. If its something hes comfortable doing around you doesn't shy away blush get embarrassed if they come out when hes happy its fine to laugh a little hug him make it one of his lovable little quirks. And if it occurs when something bad is going on no need to point it out at all just like theirs no need to notice he said the word I. Just ignore it.
As for the OCD Ive grown accustom to much of it. When I first moved in I was very careful not to alter "they way" he had things around the house. He would save things like old food. But over time I started to integrate myself into his space slowly. Removing old items from the fridge first a few at a time. Because this was one OCD behavior I couldn't live with. The change was slow enough that it didn't stress him out and he grew used to cleaning out the cupboards and not saving food.
But thats about the only one I changed. He knows hes ocd he knows what he does. It isn't bugging anyone if he checks the door a few times or has a certain way the bedspread tucks in or how he turns on the radio. As long as the behaviors are not getting so overboard that they are interfering with his life theirs no need to do or say anything about it. Just like if he went to get a glass of water would it matter to you at all.. so if he checks the door 14 times... whatever. thats cool.
Just let him do his thing and don't tease him about it.
The only OCD behaviors you should concern yourself with one way or another is if he went way too obsessive to the point where hes not leaving his house for fear of germs etc. If it interferes with is life. And or the only other is if you are ever sharing a space and you are not OCD you will clash. Most things are easy to adjust to to be respectful of his way of keeping things but in exchange for that he has to respect my way of keeping certain other things and allow me to have what I need too.
IE not saving expired food. And if their is something like that you cant deal with adress it and make the transition very slowly out of it to something you can both agree with.
long ... anyway.. hope that made some sense
Health Question & Answer
I'm not sure how to go about the touretts. Sounds like what you would do is what I would do. If its something hes comfortable doing around you doesn't shy away blush get embarrassed if they come out when hes happy its fine to laugh a little hug him make it one of his lovable little quirks. And if it occurs when something bad is going on no need to point it out at all just like theirs no need to notice he said the word I. Just ignore it.
As for the OCD Ive grown accustom to much of it. When I first moved in I was very careful not to alter "they way" he had things around the house. He would save things like old food. But over time I started to integrate myself into his space slowly. Removing old items from the fridge first a few at a time. Because this was one OCD behavior I couldn't live with. The change was slow enough that it didn't stress him out and he grew used to cleaning out the cupboards and not saving food.
But thats about the only one I changed. He knows hes ocd he knows what he does. It isn't bugging anyone if he checks the door a few times or has a certain way the bedspread tucks in or how he turns on the radio. As long as the behaviors are not getting so overboard that they are interfering with his life theirs no need to do or say anything about it. Just like if he went to get a glass of water would it matter to you at all.. so if he checks the door 14 times... whatever. thats cool.
Just let him do his thing and don't tease him about it.
The only OCD behaviors you should concern yourself with one way or another is if he went way too obsessive to the point where hes not leaving his house for fear of germs etc. If it interferes with is life. And or the only other is if you are ever sharing a space and you are not OCD you will clash. Most things are easy to adjust to to be respectful of his way of keeping things but in exchange for that he has to respect my way of keeping certain other things and allow me to have what I need too.
IE not saving expired food. And if their is something like that you cant deal with adress it and make the transition very slowly out of it to something you can both agree with.
long ... anyway.. hope that made some sense
Health Question & Answer
ii think with some things you should try & maybe stop him but in others where he might feel embarrased that he does it just play it like uu dont even notice so he doesnt feel like its a big deal, be supportive. its just like ADHD. its really hard to deal with but ive learned how to control it, he probably will too. everyone deals with stuff in their own ways & in their own time.
hope this helped. ?Health Question & Answer
hope this helped. ?Health Question & Answer
my mum has OCD and always has done so i have grown up with it. You need to be supportive and be there for him. It really is an illness that can be quite debilitating. If you love him then be there for him and help him through the tough times. Its not easy but he needs you.Health Question & Answer
OCD is not something that is not treatable
Why don`t you read my story .? http://www.relief-anxiety.info ..
Best
AlexHealth Question & Answer
Why don`t you read my story .? http://www.relief-anxiety.info ..
Best
AlexHealth Question & Answer
i have OCD and me and my boyfriend have been together like 7 years...i got good advice..email me :) too much to write at lea_gmz@yahoo.comHealth Question & Answer
Just ignore it, that's all you can do. My boyfriend has this weird OCD thing where he'll insist he hasn't locked the car, or locked the door, or turned off the light, and if he doesn't check I know he'll just be torturing himself, so it's best to just ignore it and let him do it. Distract him if you can, but it doesn't often work! I used to have so many arguments with my boyfriend about these things, but he won't stop 'needing' to do them, it'll just make him feel annoyed that I don't understand.Health Question & Answer
I am like that with the stove. I check it 20 times, or I was. Finally I would ask my husband to go check it after I checked it one time. He would say "the stove is off" and I was ok with that.
I inherited my behaviour from my mom. She was afraid of fires starting and got me in the habit. I used to sit at work obsessing as to whether the iron was left on or not so I got one that automatically shuts off.
The lock thing can only be slowed down if you go check it and say it is locked I already checked it. It will take time though.Health Question & Answer
I inherited my behaviour from my mom. She was afraid of fires starting and got me in the habit. I used to sit at work obsessing as to whether the iron was left on or not so I got one that automatically shuts off.
The lock thing can only be slowed down if you go check it and say it is locked I already checked it. It will take time though.Health Question & Answer