I think that i have having complicated grieving and i don't know what to do.?!

Question: I think that i have having complicated grieving and i don't know what to do..?

my grandfather died last week, and well it has been hell. (this is a long one please bare with me) I lost my grandmother one year and a week to the day my grandfather died. it was not unexpected but still shocking. they were so strong and you would think that they would never die. NEVER! but they both went from the same thing "cancer". well after my grandmother died i went to take care of my grandfather for a couple of weeks, (they live in adifferentt state) and found out some things about my grandmother that i never knew. when my grandfather died I keep finding out lots of things that i never knew about either of them. for example they were divorced but still life partners (stated in grandmothers will) that is a shocker in it self. but there are other things. I don't understand why we were such strangers. everything was top secret to them. anyway I decided that i needed to findsome kind of support group to get things out. I mean i have not been the same since they went. I am so absent minded and depressed its unreal. but when I started looking online and reading about things I read something about complicated greiving. I think that is what i am going through. well actualy i have two questions

1 do you think this qualifies as complicated grieving.?
2 why would my grandparents keep so much secrets (not just the divorce.?)Health Question & Answer

Answers:

your grieving seems like it is directly effected by you feeling like you were decieved by your grandparents. look at it this way, how many things about yourself or about your relationships do you keep from other people. you dont do it because you dont care about them but because it is private. grandparents or not they just like everyone else have their right to privacy, and a personal life. you need to let go and realize that they are only human and that they wanted certain things to be kept between the two of them. once you realize it was not meant to decieve or hurt you or anyone else i think it will be easier to let go.Health Question & Answer

They came from not only a different generation, but the one before that, when things were very different, and every family had a skeleton in the closet. A previous answer follows: Call: The Grief Recovery Institute (U.S.A.) 1-800-445-4808, or Hospice (phone book).

Email jo@samaritans.org Chatrooms and forums: www.chatmag.com/topics/health/grief.html and http://talkingminds.15.forumer.com/ and http://messageboards.ivillage.com/ Other websites: www.griefnet.org/ and http://www.helpguide.org/ (coping, supporting others, loss of relationship, or pet) and www.mental-health-abc.com/ and www.boblivingstone.com/.?q=node30 and www.crusebereavementcare.org.uk/ At www.mind.org.uk/ type "grief" in the taskbar, and enter.

Helping others grieve, and helping children grieve are some topics at: www.crisiscounseling.com/TraumaLoss/Grie... and for children: .?pageNum=6" rel="nofollow">http://yourtotalhealth.ivillage.com/grie... and www.childrensgrief.net/ and www.childgrief.org

Understand that there are often several stages of grief.

The stages are: Denial: The initial stage: "It can't be happening."
Anger: "Why ME.? It's not fair.?!" (either referring to God, oneself, or anybody perceived, rightly or wrongly, as "responsible")
Bargaining: "Just let me live to see my son graduate."
Depression: "I'm so sad, why bother with anything.?"
Acceptance: "It's going to be OK."
K

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I think that i have having complicated grieving and i don't know what to do.?!

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