Did i handle this situation all inferior yesterday?!
Question: Did i handle this situation all inferior yesterday.?
i felt vulnerable , shaken up, nervous, panicky , panic attacks, felt enraged like i was going to lose control of my aggression and have an outbursts, experienced the fight of flight feelings , i felt i handled the situation all wrong and ineptly, inferiorly , maybe because of the anastetic in my system still or my borderline pd, ptsd , agoraphobia , stress of my life getting out of control..........but i felt disappointed with myself and it ruined my day , heres what happened :
this morning i was traveling back to my apartment because the night before i had stayed in hospital for the diagnostic operation on my ankle because i sprained it a year back and damaged the tendons, to say to, i suffer with bpd and ptsd, because of a severe traumatic life, and in the past ive had severe rage problems, in the present i also suffer with agoraphobia.
when i got to the tram stop this morning waiting to catch the next tram back to my apartment , as i was waiting i was holding my crutches the hospital gave me. and on the opposite side of the platform for trams going the otherway , i noticed a business suited middle aged grey haired man with leather gloves on looking at me intimidatingly or glaring hostilely.
the way you would expect a young thug to.
i was nervous because i was outside, in the open, my mind was racing , i think because id had the general anesthetic the night prior, my heart was beating fast because i was having palpitations.....but i was trying to keep my calm even though the situation was making me very uncomfortable.
my rage was building and i just snapped, i glanced his way and glared right back as if to say ' a problem .? !! '
he than started to flinch and look away at my glare back at him, than i glanced away once he broke of the funny stare.
but the situation ruined my mood for the whole day.
he looked like a solicitor , professional type that works in the city, he had a scarf , an overcoat, business type suit on, leather gloves , grey balding head.
ive suffered alot of victimisation through my life and bullying.
was i inferior or a coward to feel scared and let this guy ruin my day with a pattern of behavior , was i not man enough to deal with it because i was panicking and felt nervous .?
what do you make of it .? and what would you have done .?
i live in the uk btw.
i acted all scared, emotional, panicky, and im angry at myself for reacting like that, i try to put up the facade like tough black guys or tough mexicans guys to keep the world out , dont like people to see me as a victim, even though im very vulnerable and soft really.
but i panicked and got scared.Health Question & Answer
this morning i was traveling back to my apartment because the night before i had stayed in hospital for the diagnostic operation on my ankle because i sprained it a year back and damaged the tendons, to say to, i suffer with bpd and ptsd, because of a severe traumatic life, and in the past ive had severe rage problems, in the present i also suffer with agoraphobia.
when i got to the tram stop this morning waiting to catch the next tram back to my apartment , as i was waiting i was holding my crutches the hospital gave me. and on the opposite side of the platform for trams going the otherway , i noticed a business suited middle aged grey haired man with leather gloves on looking at me intimidatingly or glaring hostilely.
the way you would expect a young thug to.
i was nervous because i was outside, in the open, my mind was racing , i think because id had the general anesthetic the night prior, my heart was beating fast because i was having palpitations.....but i was trying to keep my calm even though the situation was making me very uncomfortable.
my rage was building and i just snapped, i glanced his way and glared right back as if to say ' a problem .? !! '
he than started to flinch and look away at my glare back at him, than i glanced away once he broke of the funny stare.
but the situation ruined my mood for the whole day.
he looked like a solicitor , professional type that works in the city, he had a scarf , an overcoat, business type suit on, leather gloves , grey balding head.
ive suffered alot of victimisation through my life and bullying.
was i inferior or a coward to feel scared and let this guy ruin my day with a pattern of behavior , was i not man enough to deal with it because i was panicking and felt nervous .?
what do you make of it .? and what would you have done .?
i live in the uk btw.
i acted all scared, emotional, panicky, and im angry at myself for reacting like that, i try to put up the facade like tough black guys or tough mexicans guys to keep the world out , dont like people to see me as a victim, even though im very vulnerable and soft really.
but i panicked and got scared.Health Question & Answer
Answers:
I believe in those situations it is always difficult to control your emotions because there are so many different thoughts and feelings racing through your head at once. Accompany that with alleviated hormone levels and memories from previous experiences and you have alot more emotions and instincts to control. Maybe next time just take a minute and have a breather. Maybe count to 10 or visualize a calm scene, and try and assure yourself that everything is fine, and that your initial instincts may have been an over reaction. It'll take some practice and you may not always be able to control it, but im sure it'll get better with timeHealth Question & Answer
I think you handled it OK!
Sometimes people just stare wondering what happened to you and they don't realise they are staring. You may have looked (a bit out of it) from the meds, or he may have been a doctor thinking you were faking an illness and carring around crutches that you didn't need.
He may have also been one of these arrogent types who looks down on anyone who is less fortuneate than them selves.
Remember arrogance and ignorance go hand in hand.
You can't control the way you feel but you can control how you react to a situation. I think the message you sent to him was "You are affending me by staring like that and I find you very rude!"
You didn't yell obscenities to him or threaten to hit him with your crutch, lol! It's OK. I wouldn't worry too much about it, you will probably never see him again and if you do, he won't stare next time.
Take care and good healing too you.Health Question & Answer
Sometimes people just stare wondering what happened to you and they don't realise they are staring. You may have looked (a bit out of it) from the meds, or he may have been a doctor thinking you were faking an illness and carring around crutches that you didn't need.
He may have also been one of these arrogent types who looks down on anyone who is less fortuneate than them selves.
Remember arrogance and ignorance go hand in hand.
You can't control the way you feel but you can control how you react to a situation. I think the message you sent to him was "You are affending me by staring like that and I find you very rude!"
You didn't yell obscenities to him or threaten to hit him with your crutch, lol! It's OK. I wouldn't worry too much about it, you will probably never see him again and if you do, he won't stare next time.
Take care and good healing too you.Health Question & Answer