Sexual harassment... by someone with Down's syndrome?!


Question: Sexual harassment... by someone with Down's syndrome.?
I'm seventeen and take public transportation (a local bus line) to get to and from my high school every day. Sometimes, a man (I'll estimate around 30 years old) with Down's syndrome will take the bus with me, and as soon as he spots me on the bus he'll find a way to sit next to me if there's an empty seat, or he'll stand in the aisle next to me- but uncomfortably close.

Sitting next to someone or standing next to someone on the bus a lot isn't sexual harassment, but what follows is what creeps me out and makes me feel really, really uncomfortable.

This man, Mylan (he introduced himself to me once, and in the same conversation asked me if I 'wanted to be his girlfriend'), usually has an erection. I know this because when he stands in the aisle next to me, he presses his genitals into my thigh and I can unfortunately feel him getting a *****. When he sits next to me instead of standing, he breathes very heavily into my ear, asks intrusive questions, touches my thigh, and stares at me the entire time I'm on the bus. Another girl I take the bus with told me in confidence that he has harassed her too, and it's really disconcerting and whenever I take the bus, I now have to seat myself in corners or in between people to ensure he can't sit next to me too easily.

It's sickening and if this were someone without a mental disability, I would tell them to get away from me and I'd move away. However, I did that before (moved away from him once he sat next to me) and got yelled at by a 40-something woman who accused me of being intolerant. Mylan, the harasser, moved to sit next to me again anyways, and I was afraid to move lest I arouse the wrath of the other bus passenger who'd yelled at me and called me intolerant.

What should I do.? Is this sexual harassment.? If so, what can I do about it.? I don't want to press charges or anything like that; I just want to take the bus to and from school in peace.Health Question & Answer


Answers:
If he can be like rest of the citizens and travel alone on the bus, then he needs to be treated like the rest of the citizens. I understand he is mentally sick, but these people can be treated by psychologists and therapists. No, they are not going to send him to loony bin, but rather work with him and teach him social manners.

If he is rubbing up against you, he can be doing the same (or worse) to others. A police officer once told me that if anyone is rubbing up against me on the bus or train, it's sexual harassment and I have the right to call to cops. You want to go easy on this guy, so what I would do is talk to an adult you trust.

You can also go to the police station and just talk to one of the officers. They are great at giving advices. You can just ask to speak to someone and they will definitely help you out.Health Question & Answer

it is. you have to tell the bus driver that he is harrasing you and explain to him. and he will help you. if you cant you might have to take a different bus.Health Question & Answer

tell the bus driver to keep a close eye on him and this is wrong down syndrome or nothing at all it is wrong or ask th girl who he used to bug to tell you how did she get rid of him.? good luck!Health Question & Answer

I would try to bring this up with the bus driver. It's not good for you to be in that kind of uncomfortable situation. You shouldn't have to put up with it.Health Question & Answer

Out of curiosity, why can't you tell your parents.?
Any way, restraining order.? Car pull.? Talk to the bus driver.? I think the best idea would be to talk to some kind of police.Health Question & Answer

Yes that is sexual harrassment. Down syndrome or no down syndrome. Tell him to get away from you once and after that, push him or address the bus driver.Health Question & Answer

tell the bus driver as soon as you get on;try the principal mabyr even his parents or guardians if all of the above fails the police 'remember this is not your faultHealth Question & Answer

Tell an Adult and the police that could turn worse even if he has down syndromeHealth Question & Answer

Its amazing isn't it, that by standers can pass judgment without knowing the full story. I had a very similar thing happen with a friends brother who has downs syndrome, she laughed it off and told me not to be silly, I how ever wasn't so easily shut up, i firmly told the man, that if tried just one more time to touch me, or make advances on me in any way that I would have the police on his doorstep within minutes. He was smart enough to stop and never do it again. Obviously if this man is smart enough to catch the bus by himself then he will understand what it means for the police to be called, behavior like this is inexcusable, even for a man with a mental disability. If he tries it again, tell him that you will inform the police if it doesn't stop, and then go directly to the bus driver, and let him know whats going on in his bus.
Hope this helpsHealth Question & Answer

Why can't you tell your parents.? This is disturbing. He can do much worse things to go if you don't do something now. That lady needs to shut up and you shouldn't listen to her. Take the bus home with a friend. This man shouldn't be doing this to you no matter what.Health Question & Answer

Oh dear. I feel for you. First of all, as for the woman you called you intolerant, please try to put that out of your mind. It's ridiculous. Whether or not the label of sexual harrassment can be applied to what this guy is doing, it's still making you uncomfortable. If it's making you uncomfortable, it's wrong. I'm not saying that he realizes that what he's doing is wrong, but that really doesn't matter. You're so young and it's easy to feel powerless. It's really easy for that woman to call you intolerant when she isn't going through what you are. People don't want to listen to you because they can't be sure that you know what you're talking about. Given your description of the situation, it's clear that you do know what you're talking about.

Here's the deal: it would be a really good idea to let your mom know what's going on. It's her job to protect you from crap like this. What's happening isn't normal and whether or not the guy has Down's Syndrome, you shouldn't have to put up with it. A trusted adult in your life needs to either speak with the bus driver or arrange for another way for you to get where you need to go without taking that bus.

Talk to your mom, sweetie. If you feel you can't talk to her, mention it to a trusted teacher or administrator at school. You DO NOT have to handle this on your own. Good luck to you . . .Health Question & Answer

My sis just turned 18 and if that happend 2 her i wouldent give a f*ck how disabled he is HE WOULD GET HIS SH*T KNOCKED. Plus its still illegl. and ur under aged. the judge wouldent care either just have that other girl as a witness. Or go off on him.


if he's cabable of sexually harassing yound girls than he's cabable of gettin his *** kickedHealth Question & Answer

ohh wow. I would tell my parents and tell the bus driver if he doesnt listen call the metro company. They HAVE to listen to you. if they dont go to someone who is higher than they are...someone has to listen, you cannot continue to get this treatment. I dont care i would say something to the dude no matter who yells at u! its ur body and u have a say on what ur not comfortable with..... DONT LET THIS CONTINUE do u want to risk the chance of him following u off the bus and raping u.? ur just lettin him believe if it can do it to u on the bus he can do it anywhere....get help i dont care tell ur parents...ur their lil girl...i would jump in a instant if my daughter told me this way happening....Health Question & Answer

Kill him. Or call the police.Health Question & Answer

Stop taking the bus and tell your parents!Health Question & Answer



The consumer health information on youqa.cn is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment for any medical conditions.
The answer content post by the user, if contains the copyright content please contact us, we will immediately remove it.
Copyright © 2007-2012 YouQA.cn -   Terms of Use -   Contact us

Health Q&A Resources