TO ANY ANOREXICS - PLEASE TELL ME WHAT YOU THOUGHT WHEN YOU LOOKED IN THE MIRROR etc?!

I was anorexic. I try not to think about those times now, but for you I will.
I couldn't walk down the road without comparing myself to every girl. I got so good I could tell what size, weight and circumfrence of thighs in centimetres with just one glance. The numbers wurled around in my head and made a giant blob. I was that giant blob, completely and utterly worthless, a waste of space and revolting. Nothing I could try and do to make myself look appealing worked - so I gave up. Appearance no longer mattered, I was hideous. I went from staring in mirrors for hours to not being able to look in one for weeks. I hated myself. It's about losing the natural judgement and reasoning of what looks ok and what doesn't. When you lose weight you start losing certain (i forget the name) but things in your brain that control anxiety. So you lose all the anxiety you felt at a normal weight and then you suddenly lose control of it for no reason, and every looks wrong. I first became obsessed when I was 12. I started the ABC diet, Ana Boot Camp diet, when I was 15.
Day 1: 500 calories (or less)
Day 2: 500 calories (or less)
3: 300 calories
4: 400 calories
5: 100 calories
6: 200 calories
7: 300 calories
8: 400 calories
9: 500 calories
10: Fast
11: 150 calories
12: 200 calories
13: 400 calories
14: 350 calories
15: 250 calories
16: 200 calories
17: Fast
18: 200 calories
19: 100 calories
20: Fast
21: 300 calories
22: 250 calories
23: 200 calories
24: 150 calories
25: 100 calories
26: 50 calories
27: 100 calories
28: 200 calories
29: 200 calories
30: 300 calories
31: 800 calories
32: Fast
33: 250 calories
34: 350 calories
35: 450 calories
36: Fast
37: 500 calories
38: 450 calories
39: 400 calories
40: 350 calories
41: 300 calories
42: 250 calories
43: 200 calories
44: 200 calories
45: 250 calories
46: 200 calories
47: 300 calories
48: 200 calories
49: 150 calories
50: Fast
which I would NEVER suggest as a growing girl should be getting between 2250 and 2500, with the amount of excercise I was doing I should of been getting nearer 3000. I would fast on days when I didn't need to aswell.
Hope this helps you realise anorexia is a terrible mental disability that ruins lives.Health Question & Answer

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when i was anorexic i felt like i had to become skinny, my friends all had beautiful figures and so did i but i didnt realize that. i felt like i had to lose weight to be like them and be "normal". i looked in the mirror and saw myself as fat and ugly. when i looked in the mirror i felt physically sick looking at myself. I am naturally skinny so i can eat whatever i want and not gain any weight. What happened was i would stop drinking like cola, lemonade etc, and stick strictly to water. then i would completely cut out any junk food, ice cream, crisps, sweets. then i stopped finishing my meals, a little left on the plate gradually leaving more every time until i just wouldnt eat, all i consumed was water. i would spend hours at the gym. i would make excuses saying i had eaten at a friends, i wasnt hungry or i was feeling ill. it wasnt just me i was harming it was my family they were so upset and begged me to eat but i didnt listen, the next month i woke up in hospital. i had collapsed and almost died it happened when i was in school. i was kept in hospital for about 2 months roughly. i am fine now but the doctors told me it could come back any day. but the thing is when i was anorexic even though i was dangerously loosing weight i still saw myself as this "elephant". Health Question & Answer

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Sometimes I look nice. Sometimes it's not really good ot be an anorexics. You are like really skinny. All your clothes will fall off and your skin will become all wrinkly, especially your leg. Try not being anorexics. It's kind of horrible. If you want to be skinny, my advice is to exercise. Try not ot starve yourself. :-p
xoxo, EmileeHealth Question & Answer

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