I have a friend that I think ,might be using me, How can I tell?!


Question: I have someone in my life that has hurt me and shows no remorse. I have bruises that are the size of my palm. She was drunk when this happened, we were together in a canoe. Every time she would laugh, it would flip us. I have pain , because of it. She was loud, crazy acting. She uses an excuss that she needed to drink because her, son had left that morning on a airplane to stay with her father. He had only been at her house for less than two months. She never raised him, he was out of control, to much for her to handle. I was here the whole time. I feel like, being 41 is a beautiful thing, why couldnt she be a grown up. Everytime we get or kids together , she has to be the loudest out of the kids.She drinks more than twice a week. She became a bar tender, thinking that she could stop drinking? I just don't know what to do. How do you know if someone is selfish, user,inconsiderate, lack of self control,A mean person. I truely thought she was a friend or am I being to worried about this?
Answers:
You have a problem here. You need to tell her how you feel. How much she hurts you and how it hurts you to see her abuse alcohol. She had a drinking problem and needs help. As long as you continue to spend time with her, she will hurt you. In a minor way, you are an enabler for her because you do nothing to stop her. Yes she has a self control problem. If she doesn't listen to you or gets defensive about it, tell her that until she gets her act together, you just can't spend any more time with her. Tell her that she embarasses you, injures you and hurts you deeply within. Tell her that until she can give you the respect, consideration and friendship that you have been giveing her, you can't afford to spend the energy and emotion on a losing cause.that she is draining you emotionally and physically. Otherwise, she will keep using you (that is what she is doing) and abusing you. It is tough to do this and she may get mad and be verbally hostile to you, but it is for her own good.and yours. Good luck.

Other Answers:
you should talk to her and tell her how you feel and if she dont listen find you a new friend,,,
She still might be a friend, but it seems like shes also an alcoholic.
She has a found away to pile up the excuses.
sounds like your friend needs aa and she is messed up, if you are'nt having a good time with her why even hang out with her, she can find another drunk to hang out with, you should try to stay away from her
If she is showing no remorse, she seems rather uncaring. But if she is using it could be caused by that. If she doesn't want to change, there is probably not much you can do about it, except move on and and find new friends.
you kind of sound like a baby.just because she is loud you think what? you got hurt once because the boat turned over or she was beating you?i really dont get the part where you think she is using you?if she drinks more than 2 times a week that really is no of your buisness.if you dont like the way she is then stay away from her.
This person sounds like she has a problem especially with alcohol. Her becoming a bartender to stop drinking doesn't sound logical. About her acting crazy: It's ok to let loose sometimes but when others feel threatened/afraid because of it, that's unhealthy. When she caused you physical pain and she showed no remorse over it, she obviously has some mental problems. You need to find a way to get this person in a program or get as far away from them as possible. I wish you well.

Answers:

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