Question: Lately I have realized that my happiness depends upon whether or not I feel that a man loves me. What is wrong with me and what can I do about it? I dont want to live this way. I hate that if my bfs actions are not what I would think they should be if he truly loved me then I feel so sad and alone. Shouldnt I be able to have happiness and peace seperate from a man? Ive been this way with every bf Ive ever had. (im 26) and if i dont have a bf i feel depressed
My first answer (no sarcasm or judgement intended) is that you should seek professional counseling. A professional is much more likely to be able to help you identify and resolve the source of these issues than a bunch of semi-random internet posters.
That said, my instincts say this is a manifestation of self-esteem issues. I would guess (I am not a professional, this is not a diagnosis) that you have never learned to provide your own self-approval, and therefore feel a need to obtain approval from a source which you identify as some form of authority. A follow-on guess is that you would feel much better about yourself and be happier if you had a consciously chosen set of values and standards by which to live, instead of measuring your worth by your ability to live up to the standards of a man in such a way that he expresses love for you by the way he acts.
There are also a host of communication issues involved in the pattern of interaction you describe. Again, a professional counselor who can become familiar with the details of your situation will be able to provide assistance in a much more specific, accurate, and useful manner.
I used to be that way but only when I had a man that I loved. I have not had one in ten years and they have been the happiest most stress free years of my life.
I spent so much time being miserable over some worthless man. At the time I did not realize what losers they were. I thought they were great. I can't believe how much emphasis I put on having a boyfriend. I can't believe I settled for the guys I did. I didn't want to be alone and had a high sex drive and that led me to waste the best years of my life. My priorities were so wrong.
I have learned how to be happy alone. I take walks alone , go to movies alone, eat out alone and travel alone and no it is not the grim experience you imagine. On the contrary, it is so much more enjoyable than waiting for some guy to go with me and then for him to act right. They never act right for any extended period of time.
I think the woman with a man to love who acts decent and does the things she wants are the exception rather than the rule.
yes you can be happy by yourself and be able to do everything for yourself
but you are a female who needs a man to make you whole
and if the guy you are with does not do that MOVE on fast tot eh next until you find what you need.
he is there..just look harder
you lackself esteem and being with you bf makes you feel good about yourself. do stuff that you like and that you're good at!
please choose your religion really and go over it and search for the best religion without the thoughts that evil media shows them like a problem . Religions are developed and come to a point from BC 2000 to AC 600 .
To understand what the Creator wants is more important for a person .
Creator has created us for learning and living the life the way it must be .
The "way" can be only taken by going over and choosing your religon . And living with it.
I hope and wish the best for you . And will pray for it .
You are have a dependent personality that requires validation by someone that wants you. You need to feel needed. Find a hobby or volunteer situation and leave your man to satisfy other needs. No matter what he does the need will grow and you will be unhappy for no one can meet those expectations.