Why do people think that people can just stop cutting themselves?!
Question:
I keep having people tell me things like "stop cutting yourself" and "stop being depressed" and stuff like that like it's something that I decided to do and can just decide to stop. It's not something I want to do, and it's definitely not something I can just decide not to do, and i don't know why people think I can just decide to stop and it will all go away.
Answers:
Because they don't understand the diseases. Don't take it personal. Just realize they are stupid and narrow-minded.
Other Answers:
Those people don't understand what's involved with obsessive compulisive disorders and depression. You need to seek counseling to help yourself.
This is for Dasher. You apparently have never been afflicted with any type of disease. It is NOT all in your head. It is factually known that these types of disorders are caused by chemical imbalances in a person's body. You need to read up on information before you start making such nasty comments to someone who is obviously having a problem.
emo.
Geez, just like gambling is a disease! its bulls!t, its all in your head & you CAN stop whenever you choose to. Wake up before you kill yourself!!
People do not know what they are talking about. It is hard for people to understand things that they have not experienced. Most say they are depressed but later that day will be happy. Being depressed and sad are totally different. I was depressed for many years and can say from experience that it is not pleasant and in no way something you can just stop doing. I didn't like the way I was and wanted to change. Change didn't come easy. It is possible for you to stop and not be depressed trust me. I was depressed for over 8 years. I was not able to escape my depression alone though, it was my Fiance who pulled me out of it. There are still times when parts of my depression come back to me.. Also I heard that going to a phsyciatrist only makes things worse and from experience I can tell you its the truth. I attended both phsyciatrist and therapist, both didn't know anything that could help and failed to do anything. Everyone has something that can pull them from the darkness, for me it was a wonderful person for you it may be the same or it may be something else. It is different for everyone. If you need someone to talk to send me a message, talking to people always helps, maybe not in person but online what do you have to lose? And dont listen to all that crap about there being a chemical imbalance in your brain. Anyone that tells you that probably doesnt know anything. They told me the same thing and put me on pills that did absolutely nothing for me.
If you're depressed or you cut yourself, there's a very good chance that it is related to a chemical imbalance in your brain. In that case, it's very difficult to "just stop." You can certainly try, but I would advise seeing a Psychiatrist or a doctor. And if your doctor or mental health expert just prescribes you some medicine after seeing you for five minutes, try someone who'll actually take the time to evaluate your situation and who will suggest trying an anti-depressant and re-evaluating after a month. Sometimes Zoloft and Prozac really can work miracles and sometimes other things, like sunlight therapy (sounds weird but it works and has a scientific basis in the melanin cycle) do the trick.
Just remember that you're not alone and this is not your fault. You just need to be brave enough to take the first step towards solving your problem. Good Luck!
I completely agree that you can't just "stop being depressed" believe me, I've had people tell me that as well. However, you can stop cutting yourself. Depression isn't something you can turn on/off because it's deeply rooted in the chemicals in your brain. Unlike your depression, cutting is a behavior that is ultimately choice-based. If you have a bad habbit such as biting your fingernails all the time, you can get yourself to stop by making conscious decisions when you feel tempted. You can choose to stop cutting yourself as well, it's just that it's hard to. Good luck, I'm really rooting for you.
--Ian
Please do yourself a favor and find a qualified health care professional to help you this is totally treatable and nothing to be ashamed of, you will have a new lease on life and feel better about yourself
because they CAN if only they stop thinking of themselves and what a pity life they have. nobody said life is easy, everyone have their own problems and there are so many people whose life sucks more than yours but they are brave enough to face it and do something about it. cutting yourself won't make the problems go away neither will it solve your problems. seek help and think about those people who love you, they are hurting much more than you think if you keep doing this to yourself.
They dont understand or comprehend anything regarding mental health.because if they did they would know that a person cant just stop, and realize that its a chemical inbalance and it takes therpy and medicine and some time .its addicting like a drug.a good response when asked would be can u stop refer to something they are addicted to and that they have to do.
Answer me this, why do you cut?
That's because they care about you, Sweetie. You are a beautiful human being given a body that some don't even get the opportunity to have work efficiently. When you get older you are going to have ugly scars from all of the trauma that YOU DID TO YOURSELF. In the end you are the one who suffers for all that you have done to your body. Is that worth it to you? Life is hard, it is hard for all of us but it makes absolutely no sense to justify your hurt by taking it out on your body and yourself. They tell you to stop cutting because YOU CAN STOP, if you really want to. You can. Hurt takes a long time to go away, and sometimes may never go away, but your reaction to hurt is all your responsibility.
Give them some literature on mental illness and depression. There are plenty of web sites out there that has a lot of information. You may not be able to stop, but you can ask for help. If you are not getting help from your family, or at school, and you want help- most communities have MHMR offices you can call and tell them what's going on.You can go into any hospital and tell someone you want to hurt yourself, and they have to help you.
Basically, those saying that to you are close minded, or trying to deny any problems. Parents often think it something you are doing for attention. A lot of parents are scared ( a lot of times because of the lack of money to spend on counselling and medication) or in denial- they fear they did something to cause your pain, and don't want to face the fact that, perhaps, they did do something wrong.
I am going to repeat myself..
You may not be able to stop, but YOU CAN ASK FOR HELP!
Those who are seriously depressed or who have been abused desperately need other friends who have been there and know what it is like to have the brain do something on its own. The depressive receives pain from the brain that rejects bad expectations about sex and life. The abused wants an escape from the experiences forced upon them and the brain can only offer a pretend escape so the brain changes pain into free feelings of pleasure. We all have a right to live and those who are mentally damaged have a right to live and heal as time permits. The worst part of mental illness is that it comes from where we live.
Think of it this way - if you broke your leg and it was in plaster, would you expect people to come up to you and say "stop having a broken leg", or "that broken leg is all in your head" or "just stop wearing the plaster, you don't need it"? Of course not, but for some reason people with no experience of mental illness think it doesn't exist if you can't see it.
I have lived with depression for 15 years, and have self-harmed on and off over that time. You do NOT "choose" to live this way. It is not enjoyable. It isn't something anyone wants. Sometimes things just happen, and like any other illness and its associated symptoms, all you can do is live with it and try to improve the symptoms if you can.
I can see you understand this, and I just hope that everyone who has posted insensitive and ignorant answers here never has to experience the pain that people that you and I go through before they start to understand.
Why are you telling people that u cut yourself. Obviously u do it for attention. Real cutters are private.
Source(s):
Real cutter.
I feel your pain.
Inflicting pian physically takes away the mental pain for a short while, but it always comes back. Seek help IMMEDIATELY
I used to do it too.
NOW I have no feeling in my hands because I once cut too deep and damaged the tennands and scars that are not attractive.
STOP BEFORE YOU KILL YOURSELF.
For every negative thing you are trying to eliminiate from your life there has to be a positive thing you will introduce to your life. In other words, you will never stop cutting unless you seek help and find out better ways to deal with your depression. You need to be taught healthy coping skills! You need to be taught how to love yourself and your body, how to improve your self-esteem, how to improve your relationships with your family and a number of other issues that play into your particular case.
Good luck and remember - there is always help!!
Source(s):
working with cutters
In my humble opinion, yes, this is so true. You can't just decide not to do it and expect it will go away because of a brave decision. Sober, clear-headed thinking usually leads to logical conclusions and a decisive mood. But when the time comes for doing, acting, choosing the right, then we find ourselves being conquered by another self of ours that brakes in the scene and says to us "alright, nice shot, your thinking was very right and profitable and I was soooo touched while I was eating pop-corn and watching you. It was a nice film, and although I've seen it several hundreds of times before, I enjoy it just like the first time. BUT now, STEP ASIDE because it is time for action, and action will be taken by the stronger one, who is (surpriiiiise) ME! (hehehe)". There is something more you (and I, and everyone) need. The power to do it. We need an even stronger one than the strong self that defeats and captures us. I'm not a know-all guy (needless to say) and I myself make many-many mistakes for which I regret. But one thing I can say for sure because it has been PROVED true in my life. There is someone who is called Jesus Christ and he is alive. If you ask him to set you free, he will not fail you. He will not try to control your outward actions, but rather he will deal with the strong self of yours (and mine) that defeats you (and me), he will heal your (and my) illness (if this is the cause of your (or my) weakness) and he will set you free from within because he is even stronger than your strong self and mine. Then you will not feel the need to continue cutting (or doing drugs, or drinking, or gambling or whatever is the place of defeat and frustration and disaster for anyone). Something will have been changed from within and you will not even notice when and how. You'll just watch yourself being set free to BOTH decide and ACT and you will wonder "what happened to me? usually I would feel the need to do it in a situation like this.but why do I not now?". So I would suggest that would say to Jesus <"I know it is wrong and I want to stop it but I do not have the power (for whatever reason) to do it. So IF you are alive I want YOU to help me by your power">. Does this seem humiliating to you? Is it too much? Is it too hard? Is it too expensive? I think there is a last question.do you really want to be set free? Take the turn.
"When the strong man armed keeps watch over his house, then his goods are safe. But when one who is stronger makes an attack on him and overcomes him, he takes away his instruments of war, in which he had put his faith, and makes division of his goods (luke 11:21-22)"
Self-injury is not new. It's also not a very common behavior. But lately people are talking about it more. As guys and girls hear about cutting, they may feel curious about it and why people do it. Because it seems a little bit forbidden, some younger teens may think that cutting might make them seem daring, grown up, or popular.With all the talk about it, cutting can almost seem like the latest fad. But cutting is a serious problem.
It can be hard to understand why people cut themselves on purpose. Cutting is what experts call an unhealthy coping mechanism. This means that the people who do it have not developed healthy ways of dealing with strong emotions, intense pressure, or upsetting relationship problems.
There are lots of good, healthy ways to cope with difficulties, such as talking problems over with parents, other adults, or friends; putting problems in perspective; and getting plenty of exercise. But people who cut haven't developed these skills. When emotions don't get expressed in a healthy way, tension can build up - sometimes to a point where it seems almost unbearable. Cutting may be an attempt to relieve that extreme tension. It's a confused way of feeling in control. That's one of the reasons why younger teens are more likely to cut.
The urge to cut might be triggered by strong feelings the person can't express - such as anger, hurt, shame, frustration, or depression. People who cut sometimes say they feel they don't fit in or that no one understands them. A person might cut because of losing someone close or to escape a sense of emptiness. Cutting might seem like the only way to find relief, or the only way to express personal pain over relationships or rejection.
People who cut or self-injure sometimes have other mental health problems that contribute to their emotional tension. Cutting is sometimes (but not always) associated with depression, bipolar disorder, eating disorders, obsessive thinking, or compulsive behaviors. It can also be a sign of mental health problems that cause people to have trouble controlling their impulses or to take unnecessary risks. Some people who cut themselves have problems with drug or alcohol abuse.
Some people who cut have had a traumatic experience, such as living through abuse, violence, or a disaster. Self-injury may feel like a way of "waking up" from a sense of numbness after a traumatic experience. Or it may be a way of reinflicting the pain they went through, expressing anger over it, or trying to get control of it.Although cutting may provide some temporary relief from a terrible feeling, even people who cut agree that cutting isn't a good way to get that relief. For one thing, the relief doesn't last - the troubles that triggered the cutting remain, they're just masked over.
People don't usually intend to hurt themselves permanently when they cut. And they don't usually mean to keep cutting once they start. But both can happen. It's possible to misjudge the depth of a cut, making it so deep that it requires stitches (or, in extreme cases, hospitalization). Cuts can become infected if a person uses nonsterile or dirty cutting instruments - razors, scissors, pins, or even the sharp edge of the tab on a can of soda.
Most people who cut aren't attempting suicide. Cutting is usually a person's attempt at feeling better, not ending it all. Although some people who cut do attempt suicide, it's usually because of the emotional problems and pain that lie behind their desire to self-harm, not the cutting itself.
Cutting can be habit forming. It can become a compulsive behavior - meaning the more a person does it, the more he or she feels the need to do it. The brain starts to connect the false sense of relief from bad feelings to the act of cutting, and it craves this relief the next time tension builds. When cutting becomes a compulsive behavior, it can seem impossible to stop. So cutting can seem almost like an addiction. A behavior that starts as an attempt to feel more in control can end up controlling you.Girls and guys who self-injure are often dealing with some heavy troubles. Many work hard to overcome difficult problems. So they find it hard to believe that there are some teens who cut just because they think it's a way to seem tough and rebellious.
There are better ways to deal with troubles than cutting - healthier, long-lasting ways that don't leave a person with emotional and physical scars. The first step is to get help with the troubles that led to the cutting in the first place. Here are some ideas for doing that:
1. Tell someone. People who have stopped cutting often say the first step is the hardest - admitting to or talking about cutting. But they also say that after they open up about it, they often feel a great sense of relief. Choose someone you trust to talk to at first (a parent, school counselor, teacher, coach, doctor, or nurse). If it's too difficult to bring up the topic in person, write a note.
2. Identify the trouble that's triggering the cutting. Cutting is a way of reacting to emotional tension or pain. Try to figure out what feelings or situations are causing you to cut. Is it anger? Pressure to be perfect? Relationship trouble? A painful loss or trauma? Mean criticism or mistreatment? Identify the trouble you're having, then tell someone about it. Many people have trouble figuring this part out on their own. This is where a mental health professional can be helpful.
3. Ask for help. Tell someone that you want help dealing with your troubles and the cutting. If the person you ask doesn't help you get the assistance you need, ask someone else. Sometimes adults try to downplay the problems teens have or think they're just a phase. If you get the feeling this is happening to you, find another adult (such as a school counselor or nurse) who can make your case for you.
4. Work on it. Most people with deep emotional pain or distress need to work with a counselor or mental health professional to sort through strong feelings, heal past hurts, and to learn better ways to cope with life's stresses. One way to find a therapist or counselor is to ask at your doctor's office, at school, or at a mental health clinic in your community.
Although cutting can be a difficult pattern to break, it is possible. Getting professional help to overcome the problem doesn't mean that a person is weak or crazy. Therapists and counselors are trained to help people discover inner strengths that help them heal. These inner strengths can then be used to cope with life's other problems in a healthy way.
It is harder than what if looks. I will say that. But u need to seek help. People who have never been depressed have no clue how hard it is to "just stop". It takes more than ok i'm better now. But if it gets away u could end up committing sucicide. I also am going through depression right now. And i know what it is like to be told stop being depressed. But i'm trying to fight it. My way out was my journal. So maybe u need to find something that you can relieve your stress and depression on. And u do need to seek help.
Answers: