can any body sum this up (identify disorder)?!
Question:
30 year old male, drinks a little, bad bad mood swings, cannot have a civil argument or communicate feelings/problems in a rational way at the same time yelling and abusing, gets very angry at the slightest thing and feels it is ok to abuse and disrespect, making up problems (lying/exagerating) to have conflict, has no interest in activities with family out of home or life in general saying everything is to much hassle.
Dont say its just a male thing
Answers:
It's probably a combination of things: he sounds like he might be very depressed.as well as having learned behaviors that are generally undesirable. I would strongly urge him to get professional help: point out to him that his actions and behaviors make it impossible to be around him.in addition to the fact that he's probably verbally abusive (he doesn't realize this) and hurts everyone's feelings almost beyond repair. This is unhealthy and will damage a person's psyche if they have to listen to how they can't do anything right, etc. If he can't handle this conversation do the right thing for yourself and cut yourself off - I hope that you are able to do this financially and emotionally.
It would be negligent and abusive to allow children to grow up in an environment like this - they'll suffer and go on to be generally nasty, narrow minded, uncaring, impatient, demanding a**holes. Trust me - it's hard to even come to the realization that you have these issues (b/c of the impact a parent had on you) let alone try and change your way of thinking completely to a more reasonable, rational, and kind one.
Good luck, I wish you and anyone else in the situation with you the best.
Other Answers:
Cheating
Trying to push the current lady out of his life without letting her know there's someone else. This is just my educated guess. I'm no doc/psychologist.
Let me explain why I think this:
You said he drinks a little, not a lot. That in itself is really no problem. But you say he has bad mood swings and he's always trying to pick a fight. He's under pressure from his mistress to get a divorce. He doesn't want to be the one to start divorce proceedings because that might tip you off that he's been unfaithful. No man likes to admit guilt. If you are the one who suggests a divorce, then he doesn't have to be the bad guy. By being verbally abusive he's trying to piss you off enough that you'll just give in and leave him so he can go be with his mistress with a clear conscience. After all - you left him, right? No interest in the family also indicates that his attention is somewhere else. If he drives you and your daughter away then he gets to spend all his time and such with the new thing in his life, which makes him happy. He's just trying to push you away. And the fact that you are 23 and have been married for 8 years sends up a huge red flag. Even if I leave your incredibly young age out of the equation, he was only 22 when you got married. Way way too young, especially for a man. There is no way he was ready to settle down with you, or anyone else. He has himself a new woman who makes him happy - at the moment anyway - and it's killing him to be with you. When he comes home from seeing her, all he can think about is how he's trapped.
This is all assuming that there is no underlying medical problem and he is cheating. I don't really believe in all the "mental disorders" now. And I dont' trust a psychologist, they are the only profession where it's more lucrative for them NOT to fix a problem. Today's society is just looking for a scapegoat, someone or something to pass the blame onto. It's so much easier to make up a new mental illness that to get people to pony up to their own shortcomings. I've taken college pysc courses, so I do have a little knowledge in this area. I'm not just making it all up.
he needs help from a psychiatrist
Honestly? A**hole. Sorry.
Crazy
Could be Bipolar Disorder
Difficult to pick out a certain disorder from the symptoms given. could be antisocial personality disorder, but they could also be caused by severe depression.
could be a varity but bi -polar is one that fits well does he have extreme highs
he sounds anti-social .he defiantly needs to seek help before he kills someone.
Rummy, I tried to email you back but it told me your email was unverified so I'll put the email here.
Rummy,
I think there are definitely less severe cases of depression as well as more severe. My ex-boyfriend had/has severe depression and his tried to kill himself several times. My current boyfriend of 5 years has a more mild case of depression. He was on Zoloft for years before he met me. He is now off the medication and is doing okay. He doesn't beleive in drinking though so that helps. I have done some more research online this morning. There are many forms of depression and I am sending you a link for one. See if any of this sounds more like him. Good Luck.
Ann
Source(s):
http://www.webmd.com/content/article/62/71505
Clinical depression. Alcohol is also a depressant, so drinking turns a bad mood into an evil rage. He has to want help, though. Denial of a problem is typical.
Depression? Drug Abuse? Undiagnosed ADD or ODD(Oppositional Defiance Disorder? Bipolar?
My 15 yr.old has same symptoms--- has been diagnosed as ADHD & ODD & Depression, needs regular meds and alot of patience.
Good luck
could be a bipolar disorder, or borderline disorder ,scizoid multiple personalities, some times come on later in life from developement ,ask him to be tested and if no ,let him go ,and also drinking is the selftreatment for these problems ,it damps down the feelings and thoughts, soooo.
Sounds just like my brother-bi polar disorder! People with bi-polar disorder are not very social-they do not relate well to people at all and they are right.always right.
Of course Rummy is mentally weak and needs help. She has seen some unacceptable social patterns and is willing to yield to a young anti-social male. The pattern is not rare and can be found among the winner/player males. Women never become so clearly anti-social. He has seen this play win many times and is willing to gamble his luck with an all out battle with you. He won't go to jail or the hospital because he is not mentally ill. You may well end up with a serious breakdown. Remember your brain will kick you back if you keep false expectations. Try to believe what you see and write it all down to help your expectations.
Sounds like anti-social personality disorder.
Individuals with an Antisocial Personality Disorder show a lack of concern toward the expectations and rules of society and usually frequently become involved in at least minor violations of the rules of society and the rights of others. A popular term for this type of individual is “sociopath”. Although the diagnosis is limited to those persons over eighteen years of age, it usually involves a history of antisocial behavior before the age of fifteen. The individual often displays a pattern of lying, truancy, delinquency, substance abuse, running away from home and may have difficulty with the law. As an adult, the person often commits acts that are against the law and/or fails to live up to the requirements of a job, financial responsibility, or parenting responsibilities. They tend to have difficulty sustaining a long term marital relationship and frequently are involved in alcohol and drug abuse.
SYMPTOMS
The signs and symptoms include:
Lack of concern regarding society’s rules and expectations.
Repeated violations of the rights of others.
Unlawful behavior.
Lack of regard for the truth
In parents, neglect or abuse of children.
Lack of a steady job. Frequent job changes through quitting and/or being fired
Tendencies toward physical aggression and extreme irritability.
TREATMENT
Currently, there is no widely accepted effective method of treating sociopathic personality types. They tend to be very manipulative during treatment and tend to lie and cover up personal faults in themselves and have little insight into their behavior patterns. They tend to exhibit short-term enthusiasm for treatment, particularly after an incident which has brought them into contact with society or the law, however, once this anxiety is relieved and reduced, they frequently drop out of treatment and fall back into the same sociopathic patterns that brought them into treatment initially. In most cases, the prognosis remains unfavorable throughout the individual’s life-span.
An Antisocial Personality Disorder is not just a medical term for criminality. It describes a long term pervasive personality disorder that is very resistant to treatment. Suicide, alcoholism, vagrancy, social isolation are common among these individuals, but there is a remarkable lack of anxiety or depression for situations in which these emotions are usually expected. In spite of their run-ins with the law, they usually present a very charming and normal facade. Dynamically, these individuals remain fixed in earlier levels of development. Usually there is parental rejections and/or indifference and needs for satisfaction and security are not met. As a result, psychoanalytic theory holds that the ego which controls impulses between conscience and impulses is underdeveloped. Behavior is usually id directed due to this lack of ego strength, a result is a need for immediate gratification. An immature superego allows the individual to pursue gratification regardless of the means and without experiencing any of the feelings of guilt. Functioning has been implicated as an important doctrine in determining whether an individual develops this disorder. Usually the following circumstances are predisposed factors:
Absence of parental discipline.
Extreme poverty.
Removal from the home.
Growing up without parental figures of both sexes.
Erratic, inconsistent discipline.
Being “rescued” each time the person is in trouble and never having to suffer the consequences of his own behavior.
Maternal deprivation and lack of an appropriate “attachment”.
This problem is much more prevalent in males than females. If present in females, it usually occurs at the onset of puberty. In males the onset is usually earlier on in childhood. Behaviors can diminish somewhat after the age of thirty when the individual seems to “mellow out” and learns more effective ways of staying within the system. Clients tend to be very manipulative and lack motivation for change. They very rarely seek therapy voluntarily and they are usually forced into therapy through some involvement with the law or other aspects of their life. History also reveals significant impairment in social, marital, and occupational functioning. Therapists relate that these clients tend to lack emotional attachment to others. They tend to be personable, charming, and engaging and are usually above average in intelligence. This demeanor, however, is often a pretense intended to deceive others and facilitate the exploitation of others. Emotional reactions tend to be extreme and these individuals tend to lack concern for other people’s feelings, be preoccupied with their own interests, and tend to have grandiose expressions of their own importance. Insight and judgment are usually poor as is their responsiveness to therapy. Therapy should focus on helping the individual develop a trusting relationship with other significant people in their lives; children, spouses, etc. The client also needs to learn healthy ways to deal with anxiety and learn to postpone or defer gratification of impulses as a positive step toward developing a more mature and socially more positive way of interacting with others. Focus should also be on promoting development of alternate constructive methods of interacting with others rather than manipulation for self gain. Progress should be measured in terms of self control and use of appropriately assertive rather than aggressive behaviors to gain desired responses. Anxiety and frustration also need to be recognized and diminished and the client also needs to focus on appropriate means of management of these two emotions which tend to cause the greatest conflict with authority and others. Response to therapy is usually very poor, tends to be long term. However, most of these clients do discontinue therapy prematurely and only remain if forced or coerced which further complicates treatment.
You have described, almost perfectly, the typical abuser in a domestic violence situation. I urge you to seek services in your area. The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence has a list of state and local resources on their website. www.NCADV.org. Please consider your options. Even if you are not ready to leave, at least know what is out there. Please contact your local domestic violence center and ask them to help you create a safety plan. Abusive relationships are VERY dangerous. Even if you are not motivated to do this for yourself, do it for your child. PLEASE!
Answers: