Is there something out there that can make my wife want sex more often?!
Question:
She said that after I frist child, who is now 4 months old. that sex is painful. It has realy upset her and me. We where a very active couple before. The docter's in this area are not helping us at all. Have any other women had this prolbem before and how did you over come it? PLEASE HELP US!
Answers:
Has she been checked out physically? With my aunt years ago they left the placenta inside her and didn't find out till she had an infection. Also if they made the incision to help with the delivery that will take some time to heal. Should be already but may still be sensitive seeing there hasn't been any activity. Another thing to remember is she's gone 9 months feeling unattractive and still may feel this way. Maybe instead of making a big issue out of not-having-sex, try improving her self esteem for awhile. Include the baby in some of the comments..with something like.'gosh, you look beautiful holding the baby." Are you helping with the baby activities. Are you sharing the feedings and changings with her. Believe it or not.it is very stressful. Maybe she is just physically and mentally exhausted and the 'pain' is psychological .just so she can get some rest. Please don't pressure her too much. Be careful of post-partum depression. Putting too much pressure on her and her trying to do everything right as a new Mom and trying to please her husband is a big chore. I feel with time everything will be back to normal if she is physically ok. Don't feel or come across as being ignored by her. That won't help. She still loves you tremendougly. Her main thoughts right now are on the baby. As she becomes comfortable being a Mom she will lighten up on this. Please just give her some time. Remember, it took nine months for her hormones to change and then overnight to change back to normal. That's quite a shock to the female body. Good luck and God bless.
Other Answers:
I know this must be a very hard time for you both. Firstly, has your wife been checked over medically, is there any problems down below. Did she have a natural birth? Did she tear? these can all contribute to it being painful. Do you get time to relax her before you have sex?
It can take upto a year before some women even want to have sex again after the birth of a child. You need to help with the boring bits first before you get to the good bits. Make sure that the baby is settled before you even attempt to do anything, she won't relax if she knows that the baby is awake!
Try not to worry about actually having sex, try just kissing and cuddling making sure you both know you still find one another attractive and don't pressure her into sex. There is nothing more unattractive than when a man thinks a kiss and a cuddle is a signal for a leg over later when all us women want is a bit of comfort. If you think it is physical then insist that you be refered to a specialist. Hope this helps a little
Answers: