hi,I m a very reserved girl so most people misunderstand me .how can i be a good!
Question:
I generally dont talk much; I m respectful and tolerant of others as my mom has taught me to be.people misunderstood me for years for being haughty and proud..I used to go in my shell if once or twice i tried to talk and didnt get the response and sometimes when others criticised me i used to become cold towards them because most of the time the criticism was unjust and unfair I responded to their healthy criticism by improving my self but most of them took advantage of my quietness and always criticised me and it disturbs me alot so to keep my mental peace intact I avoided talking more than necessary but I have realised no matter how many differences you have with others one should always be able to communicate with the other person..anyhow now i want to be a good communicator who can even make communications to its most severest critic ...can u all suggest me some advice on how to be able to talk to the most hardest person and still some topics to talk about plz
Answers:
Just try and chill out a bit, think less and be yourself. Say what you've got to say and don't worry about upsetting or offending people too much.
Also, just remember that everybody critisises everyone else and it's not worth taking what they say to heart. According to my mates I'm lazy because I've spent time unemployed (sacked after a drink-driving ban) but I worked 60 hours a week and am now working full time again, still to them I'm idle.
Years ago the same people who critize you wouldv'e probably said that the world was flat, so just pay no mind.
Other Answers:
Try to see the whole person. Instead of seeing one color of the "prism", try to see the whole prism.
NLP classes can help you , you can read some bood about it too
Sometimes I find it easier to talk to a stranger than I do to my bestfriend. The reason is thier judgment upon what it is I'm saying. It usually matters little to me what a stranger thinks. Usually, they listen with a thirty second tolerance or so.
You need to come to the realization, which you may have already, that they are just people. What they think doesn't matter as much as what YOU think. However, you need to get some people that around you that frequently agree with you as a sort of Support system. You are good at the listening part, I can tell, now work on the expressing part. If someone knocks you down, as sometimes they do, try and learn from that instance, and move on.
To be reserved is fine but sometimes you need to speak your mind. And "sometimes getting people to listen you can't just tap them on the shoulder anymore you have to hit them with a sledge hammer. Then you will find that you have their strict attention." Kevin Spacey
In a good communication role you speak and you listen and you give each other feedback. Find somebody you can talk to!
Listen, everything in your question is garbage because your trying to hard. Just be yourself. You talk too much, all that jibberish is confusing, you need to analyze your thoughts into a compressed file and spit it out, so to speak, if you even need to speak at all. Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses, everyone. Maybe you communicate in different ways. Are you an artist or musician? I'm a guitar player, and i get fed up and fed up with life. It builds up and then it just bursts out of me through music. I talk to people i care about. %$&^% everyone else. I bartend too and I keep it short and sweet.
I wonder if you might be "haughty and proud" and should be asking for help to be more accepting of other peoples' ideas and more patient to deal with them. Just a thought.
Honestly, the quickest way for you to come our of your shell is to go to print the above and take it to your doctor and ask him/her for a prescription for 10mg of lexipro. Don't let life pass you by like I did in my early years.
Do a google search on "Avoidant Personality Disorder"
Oh my goodness im the same way. People think im a snob cause i dont talk enough or talk to everybody. But its something you have to grow out of. I didnt like talking alot because i was afraid how people would think about me or judge me, but you just gotta talk. Start with something easy to talk about like a common subject. also feel free to jump into other peoples conversations even if you feel rejected. Its okay its like practice. If there not going to be cool with you just forget em. So just talk to everybody, pretty soon you wont have a problem at all. Be open and relax. :)
Source(s):
My own humble wisdom :)
i am glad that you are trying to be able to communicate with other people, realistically we learn everything in life through communication however sometimes it seems as if other people do not respond back the way we want them to.that's OK, most people have a defensive attitude simply as a defense mechanism but it is not difficult to break the ice ,just use your intelligence and find out what is the other person is interested in to start the conversation and before long you will see that the ball is rolling and you have opened a door of friendship to somebody else.
Dont talk with people, that you dont feel comfortable with. I've had the same problem. at school i could talk to none. After sometime the place in wich i stayed changed and I foud better company. Main problem is not in you, but in others.
Hope this helps:)
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