How do I deal with the depression and grief due to the death of my mother?!
Question:
I am 36 years old and have two daughters, ages 10 and 5. I recently lost my mother to breast cancer in Sept 2005. She was 55years old. Since the passing of my beloved mother, I have found it VERY difficult to live life. I have not accepted her death. My mother was the backbone of my families entire existence. Her and I were extremely close. She was and is my bestfriend. I am overwhelmed the pain of not having her around to talk with, laugh with. Somedays I can not find the energy to get out of bed. So therefore I don't. I keep telling myself that the passing of time should lessen the pain. It hasn't. I feel just as desperate and devastated as ever. Honestly it feels it is getting worse. I am suffering from nightterrors. I have completely isolated myself from everything and everyone. My question is what can I do from here? I cared for my mother until her last day. In my mind I still haven't accepted her passing. I feel almost suicidal @ times.
Answers:
Lost my mom to Cervical cancer last year (July, 2005) and quite honestly there’s no correct or right or any way to deal with the grief. Just don't block your feelings, if you want to cry then cry, if you want to laugh don't feel guilty, just laugh. If you don't wish to get out of bed, don't. If memories of her just overwhelm you, let it wash over, don't block them. The soul needs lots and lots of time to understand and heal.
But, I would definitely recommend that you talk to someone close, anyone you trust, and who will just listen and not ask you to move on, to stop crying or grieving. The pain will probably never go away, will probably never lesson. But I do know that in time this very pain will be a comfort, you will recognize it and take comfort in the fact that you loved someone so dearly that it still hurts.
And as iAmGirl pointed out, you’ll eventually be ready to re-focus on your kids and family and when you are, things would be a lil easier to manage.
Hope my answer helped a bit.
I wish you all the luck.
Other Answers:
It hasn't been that long, Sweetie.It's going to take a lot more time than this to come to terms with her passing. Give yourself as much freedom as you need to cry, to lie in bed, to be sad.to feel whatever you have to feel right now. Once it actually sets in that she's gone and the initial shock wears off, it gets easier from there. But there will also be relapses and set-backs..When you're ready, you'll realize that your kids need you to come back to them fully. We all lose our parents.I've lost my dad, and I fear so much losing my elderly mother.I think about it far too much.I know I'm going to be exactly where you are mentally, and it's a scary thing. But I also know I'll take comfort in the fact that my mom won't be suffering any longer. Peace is a great thing. And she wouldn't want your life to be over because hers is.she loved you too much for that, right? Good luck.
lets time pass by, there is a great proverb, " time heals everthing" take patience.
you are dealing with situational depression. there are four stages of loss, which ends with acceptance, right now you are grieving, anger will come next, which means you already went through denile, but for now, keep busy, exercise, take care of your kids, and time will heal. time : average person 6 months -2 years.
Source(s):
experience
Hello and you have every reason to be feeling this way. 36 years old is way too early to lose your mom. But remember that you are mom to your children and they don't need to lose you at this time. I suffer from depression and I know exactly what your life is like. You need to contact your community mental health and soon. If you have private insurrance then get a refferral to a therpist or pych dr. I have bi-polar so my moods go from way down to up a little so I have been in a dr. care for awhile. You actually sound like you could use the help of an antidepessant for awhile while you are dealing with mom's death. Good luck hon and I'll be watching for a reply. Patty
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